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“Aren’t you full of surprises?”
My gaze narrowed. “I’m going to get dressed. I’ll meet you downstairs. Same room?”
“We’re actually going to take a slight detour first. I’ll wait for you outside.”
He left quickly, closing the door behind him. I pulled on the red, glittery dress with a slit running from my thigh to my foot. It looked like it should feel scratchy, but the silk lining caressed my body like a glove. I twirled, noticing the fabric around my waist and hips was a little loose. I checked the size of the dress, and it was already one smaller than the clothes I wore before Astor died.
I had lost too much weight since he died. It had only been three weeks, but my skin was blanched, and I had little muscle. I sighed, averting my gaze away from my reflection.
I closed my eyes, and all I saw was Astor with his honey-brown eyes and freckled nose. We laughed at the same things and had these stupid, inside jokes that disappeared when he left me. I honestly thought we were going to grow old together and that he would be the father to my children one day, but when he became a vampire, he’d stolen my future with it. I knew he was afraid of dying, and I understood, but he had a chance. The doctors said he could survive, and even though the odds weren’t in his favor, I had hope.
As much as I wanted to hate him for becoming a vampire, even if it was against everything we fought for, I didn’t.
I hated him because hundreds of our people had died because of him. He’d betrayed those who fought alongside him for years. Nightshade got inside the guild because Astor told them how. They’d taken my mom as the price for his immortality, and hundreds died for it. I wondered if their souls weighed as heavily on him as they should.
My chest tightened, and my heart raced. I leaned over, pressing my hands against my knees, feeling the cold slip through my skin, spreading goose bumps over my limbs. My mind whirled as I tried to push him out. I couldn’t cope with it yet, not with everything else. This was too much pain for one person.
I never understood how people survived the most terrible things, like losing someone they loved so much that it should have destroyed them. I often felt the shattering heartbreak that accompanied that kind of grief, and when I did, it felt like I was going to die. Now I understood the grief of losing Astor, my mom, and Draven would kill me if I let it in. So instead, I kept them separate in my mind, allowing depression to take me because that numbness was a temporary relief. It was better to feel nothing than everything.
Then there was Sebastian and the City of Nightmares, a distraction that I craved. Once I was dressed, I looked at my reflection in the frosted window. Sanmorte was a winter kingdom, and summer didn’t last long here, which is why I presumed they took up residence on this large, chilly island to the north of our world. They didn’t feel the cold as much as we did, so being here wouldn’t bother them.
I pulled at the fabric around my cleavage, trying to hide it a little more, and flattened the area with my hands, as if that might somehow make it look better. I painted my lips with gloss only and picked at my fingers as I walked out the bedroom door and into the hallway.
“Olivia.” He spoke my name as if it were a declaration. “You clean up nicely.”
I rolled my eyes.
“I have a surprise for you,” he said, walking me toward the roof.
“I thought we were going downstairs.”
“We will be, but first, I want to show you something. I said we were going to take a slight detour.”
Yes, but I thought he meant another part of the house. He pushed open the hatch and climbed out. The icy air hit my lungs as I followed him. His wings extended in midnight black, crumpling his buttoned-up black shirt. “We will fly there. Unless you’d rather walk.” I nodded, and he closed the distance between us. The air whooshed from my lungs as he lifted me into the sky, twirling us into a swirl of stars and clouds.
TEN
I nestled into the pockets of warmth from his jacket as Sebastian landed us at the edge of a lake. The scent of him clung to the fibers, and I breathed in the evocative smell of spring, in an elegant mix of citrus and pine with hints of spice. I pulled on the drawstrings and looked up at the endless night sky. Sebastian tucked his wings behind his back, re-rolling one sleeve which had come undone.
The water rippled in the distance as the moon reached its apex, reflecting off the skyline-silver surface. I closed my eyes, breathing in a whirl of cold and listening to the familiar slap of fish hitting the water and the rustle of leaves in the trees surrounding the lake. Around us were smoky-gray mountains and a dark pine forest. “How far did you fly us?” I asked, registering that we couldn’t be anywhere close to the city.
“Eighty miles, give or take.”
“Why here?” I gazed around, noting the beauty of the pebbled beach under our feet, noticing how the stones somehow glowed against nothing but the light of the moon and stars. Slowly, I made my way to the lake’s edge, catching threads of blue and silver beneath the surface, illuminating the water.
“This is one of the few places in Sanmorte that remains mostly untouched by vampires. This lake was the birthplace of a god and was used by sorcerers to strengthen their magic. As the years have passed and the population of your people has decreased, the lake has been deserted. The king keeps it off-limits. He still believes in honoring the gods, a sentiment from being hundreds of years old and having probably met one before they ascended from this world.” He took my wrist in his fingers and gently unclasped the bracelet. “You won’t need this here.”
The water’s edge lured me as if it were singing its own ancient melody only I could hear, made from teardrops and enchantment. I kneeled at the edge, my fingers reaching out until I touched a wave. As soon as the icy water hit my fingers, I gasped. Power thrummed into my hand, running through my veins, linking with my own dormant magic.
Before I could think too hard, I was dancing my fingers in the air, elated in the feeling of being one with my powers. I’d always longed for it. My mother had spoken so fondly of her powers, it made me envious of the bond she had with her birthright. I’d felt detached from my own until now.
“What god was born here?”
“Laveniuess.”
“God of Shadows,” I said, closing my eyes to allow my other senses to attach to my power thoroughly. “I can feel his energy. It’s beautiful.”
“Most wouldn’t call anything about himbeautiful.”
