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“Don’t,” she warned.
I put my hands up again, then drank my drink. “I won’t force you to talk about your feelings.” Under my breath, I mumbled. “Unlike some people.”
“Heard that.”
“I know.” I swallowed the second glass, already reaching for the third. The gentle buzz clouded my mind, a welcome relief from the unending swirl of thoughts matching the clouds outside.Love.Soulmates.The words were soon swallowed by the intoxication humming through me.
TWENTY-TWO
Olivia
I tossed and turned all night as Sebastian slept soundly beside me until the morning sun peeked through the windows. He was asleep when I’d returned to the room after running out of it hours before.
His light snores crawled agitation over my skin. I moved onto my side, puffing out my cheeks. The awful truth kept sinking back in, no matter how much I tried to fight away the thoughts.
He doesn’t love me.
Slowly, I lifted my fingers, massaging my temples to calm my racing mind. Why did those words sting so much, especially when he’d made it clear time and time again that he didn’t want this marriage and only went through with it because he had no choice? But there were moments when we touched, kissed—when we had sex—that I felt something from him. Even with his barriers up against my ability, I could have sworn I felt affection slip through. Yet, when he heard those three words fall from my lips, he said nothing. I saved face, pretending I didn’t mean it, but I don’t know if he bought it. Either way, I’d driven him into an alcohol-fueled coma.
Sleep would not save me from my anxiety. My brain was far too active to get any shuteye. My eyelids closed against the soft hue of morning arrowing through the gap in the drapes. I savored the last seconds of being curled in the blankets, rubbing my feet against the soft cotton. Then I stood.
I cast my eyes over my shoulder, and my heart swelled. He reached out across the space of the bed in his sleep. His eyebrows pulled down as a grunt left his mouth. I waited until I was sure he was in a deep sleep before creeping across the floor.
I didn’t realize how I felt about him until I said the words out loud. As soon as I spoke them, everything clicked into place. The story of us flitted into my mind, and I tried to read between the lines so I could understand when I’d fallen for him. Maybe it was how he just accepted me, from the beginning. Even when he was an asshole, I’d found him amusing. Although, I’d covered it up. He was kind and always made me laugh. There was a sense of home when I lay in his arms, and for a moment, all I wanted was to feel his hold on me.
To hear those three words whispered back.
Resentment built in my soul, which he didn’t deserve. He wasn’t required to feel the same way I did. Yet, the pain of my unrequited love burned deeper than I thought possible.
Astor abandoned me, too, and I wondered if I was truly that unlovable? The sunrise soaked me in warmth as the orange blur slipped over the misted mountains in the distance.
I sat on the sofa, curling my legs against my chest. I reminisced about fading memories of Astor and me, realizing I’d created a fantasy of him in my head. Now, I couldn’t believe I didn’t see it. I’d believed in our love story so much that I convinced myself that I somehow deserved every painful thing he did. When I caught myself thinking how stupid that was, I instead trusted he would change. It was a vicious circle I was trapped in, like a fly in the middle of a spider’s web.
I didn’t know how it felt to be accepted and cherished until I met Sebastian and Erianna. They never made me feel unworthy, and they treated me with respect. The illusion of Astor shattered when I’d learned of what he’d become, and how he’d done it.
The stark horror that he was capable of handing his friends at the guild, and to put his mom and me through suffocating grief was enough to harden my heart against him. To realize the version of him I had adored was just that—the version I wanted to see. It wasn’t true, and now I wondered if I’d done the same with Sebastian, but differently? Perhaps I’d found more meaning in his touches than was there. Maybe I’d mistaken the tender moments for something more. I longed for him, and now I felt like an idiot.
Shaking my head as if to scatter the thoughts of him, I stood. A slight click echoed through my bones as I stretched my arms. Every part of me ached, which was ironic considering I was immortal now, and every movement felt lighter than air. But I felt like I was wading through water as I dressed and walked down to the breakfast room, rounding the corners until I found my destination.
Fortunately, my ability to eat food had remained, thanks to the gods. My stomach rumbled despite my nausea, and the only thing keeping me going was the thought of a plate of waffles covered with syrup.
Gold drapes were slathered over the walls of the feeding room. Even the chandeliers had been dusted and polished, scattering shimmers of light. The privacy tents were gone, with only splatters of blood clinging to stone as a reminder they’d ever been there.
The long tables had been replaced with new ones. I hurried to the windows, smelling the faints stink of smoke as the wood was set ablaze of the old, crimson stained furniture stained with venom and cum.
Alongside the burning evidence in the courtyard were the last of the dead mortals, joining the pillar of smoke into a cloud hovering around the castle. Slowly blinking, I stepped back, twisting myself to see the room. It was as if I’d stepped into one of the books I’d read as a kid, with lavish ballrooms and decadent décor. My father had done a beautiful job of covering the darkness and debauchery with pretty, sparkly things.
I whipped my head to the double doors as Gwen and Velda entered, followed promptly by a sheepish Penelope. Thankfully, Astor was nowhere to be seen.
Gwen twisted her blonde waves over one shoulder, her gaze pinning me from across the room. Then, with a soft sway to her hips, she strode over, the scent of lavender clinging to her body. “Congratulations on your marriage,” Gwen said with a bright smile. “Although, I will admit, I am a little envious. You get to fuck Sebastian every night.” She tapped her finger against her chin, peering up to her right. “At least I got to taste him one last time, I suppose.”
I clenched, then unclenched my fingers, holding back against the magic sizzling underneath. “I don’t think so.”
“It’s true, and right before your wedding, too.”
Her admission sent goosebumps over my skin, and I steadied my uneven breaths. “You’re lying.”
Velda came up behind her, pulling out a case of clove cigarettes. “Good morning,Your Highness.”Her thin, painted lips pressed tight as she placed a cigarette between them. Then, lighting it, she sent a cloud of smoke my way. I waved my hand in the air, coughing, almost tumbling back.
