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Chapter 19
Addie
Iwas going to die.
That realization settled bone deep within me. A heady, suffocating sensation.
Either my death was going to be at the hands of the parasite or the burly army men who had kidnapped me. Honestly? I preferred the latter. There was something immensely intriguing about dying with my morality intact.
Well...what was left of my morality, at the very least.
Sometimes I wondered if the greatest monsters were the ones who looked human.
They didn’t tie me up, and I wondered if it was because they underestimated my sense of survival or overestimated themselves. I sat nestled between two men, our thighs touching. With my men, that connection would’ve caused pinpricks of desire to shoot up and down my back. Now, all I felt was revulsion.
I debated, briefly, fighting back. Having them put a bullet through my head and ending my suffering. Or, soon to be suffering. The vindictive side, the side I previously coined as Bitch Me, wanted the parasite to corrupt my mind and destroy all of these men. Rip the flesh straight from their throats. Bathe in their blood.
Bitch Me might’ve had psychopathic tendencies.
“It’s a damn sauna in here,” one of the men groused, wiping sweat from his brow.
“It’s my fault,” another injected. “I’m just too damn hot for you.”
The guys laughed, and my heart tightened. Their banter reminded me of my men.
Men I missed more than anything in the world. I hadn’t even been able to say goodbye to them, tell them I loved them.
Before…
Before I died.
Those three words curdled in my stomach. At the same time, I was grateful I wasn’t around my men or brothers. They would hesitate to do what had to be done...they would hesitate to kill me.
Sacrifice.
I had used that word when referring to Tonya, but I knew it applied to me as well. I was willing to sacrifice anything and everything for the people I loved, including my own life. It was insignificant in the grand scheme of things, wasn’t it?
I just wished I could say goodbye, at least once. Tell Fallon I loved him and forgave him. Joke with Tamson until his cheeks burned crimson. Cuddle with Asher, my constant supporter and the man who grounded me. Joke with Declan, my best friend, and repeat what we did on that bed so many nights ago. Flirt with Ryder and hear him call me Kitten. Build a fort with Ronan.
Fight with Calax. Call him my nemesis. Tease him until he glowered.
Love him until he smiled.
There were so many things I never got to do with them. Our wedding, for one. Children even. It had all been snatched away from me.
The rest of the drive was silent, the men solemn minus the few glances they snuck at me. Then, I could see disbelief and surprise in their eyes.
When would I turn? What would it feel like?
Would it be a gradual progression of sanity, or would I completely snap?
What felt like hours later, we pulled into a large, industrial-like building. Or buildings. Dozens of them littered the large expanse. A fence bordered it, bright yellow signs warning us that it was electric. The barrage of cars pulled up to a guard tower. Unlike the one at the outpost, this one towered over the ground, official looking men in armor manning it. The driver stopped at a video monitor and stared into the camera. After a moment, the gate whooshed open and the rest of the cars filed in.
I spotted hundreds if not thousands of men hurrying to and from each building. The majority were male, but I spotted a few females as well. Each carried a large ass gun.
That didnotbode well for me.
When the car stopped and I was pulled into the bright sun, one of the men gaped at me.
