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My mind latched onto Addie the last few moments I had seen her. The parasite slithering under her skin. The fear widening her eyes. The tears streaming down her cheeks as the men dragged her to the car.
The acceptance as the door closed, cutting her off from us. She knew, as did I, that there was no surviving. No escaping. No coming back from the parasites that plagued our world.
“Say something!” Ryder screamed, spit flying from his mouth. When I remained silent, staring impassively over his shoulder, his fist rounded back and punched me square in the jaw. Fire exploded in my face, but the pain had a strange numbing quality. It didn’t completely pacify the agony of losing Addie, but it definitely helped.
I brought my hand up to rub at my tender jaw. Ryder was staring down at me, his breathing heavy, and I stared right back.
I wanted to tell him that I was sorry and I loved him. He was my brother in more than just blood. I also wanted to tell him that she was gone. As good as dead.
But he knew.
I could see the acceptance in his eyes, but also the steely determination. We both knew it was a losing battle.
But we would fight for her anyway.
“We need to go after her,” Ryder said. His words were strident, intended for everybody, not just me.
Fallon had moved to his knees, head lowered. He didn’t react to Ryder’s proclamation besides the slightest tightening of his back muscles.
“Did you hear me?” Ryder screamed, rounding on our leader. I knew better than to kick a wounded dog when he was down, but Ryder was more impulsive than me.
Fallon remained immobile. If his back wasn’t rising and falling steadily, I might’ve believed him to be dead. It was unlike him to completely break down.
But Addie…
My throat clogged with emotion, some of which I refused to recognize. Grief, for one. What good was it without action? Mixed with it all, interwoven like the finest strings of a tapestry, was heartache.
And that fucking killed me.
“Get up, you ugly bastard! Get up!” Ryder was screaming, garnering an audience, but he didn’t care. His face was red, and his hands were fisted. Asher said something to him, too low for me to hear, and Ryder responded with a punch to his face.
You get a punch, you get a punch, andyouget a punch,I thought, a hysterical chuckle bubbling in my chest. Dammit. I was losing my mind.
Asher didn’t even flinch when Ryder’s fist connected with his face. His expression was carefully blank. Guarded. A fortress that no one could demolish.
My chest tightened, lungs burning.
How would we come back from this?
Howcouldwe?
Before I could voice my fears out loud, Fallon exploded. That was the only word for it. One second he was kneeling on the ground, and the next he had charged to his feet with a roar. The sound reverberated through me.
Hundreds of emotions flashed in his piercing eyes. Grief. Pain. Anguish. Anger. Denial. And then determination. It hardened him, changed him, and I knew he would never be the same. Hell, I doubted any of us will be the same. Our scars ran soul deep. Slap after slap to the face. It wasn’t something we could bandage.
“We’ll get her back,” Fallon said resolutely. His teeth were clenched so tightly I was afraid his jaw would break. His eyelashes feathered over his cheekbones, and he took a deep, calming breath. “We bring her back, even if it’s a body.”
His words made icy fear skate down my spine.
A body.
Addie’s body.
Ryder turned his face away from mine with an anguished sob.
No, we would not be bringing home a body.
And if we did, the world would fucking burn.
