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Chapter Seven
Trent
I wake up the next morning with this ominous sort of feeling hanging over me. Last night hadn’t exactly gone as planned.
Maybe I should have completely switched off the PDA in front of Mason, but I couldn’t help myself. All things considered, I really did my best to keep my hands to myself, but I could tell it still made him uncomfortable.
Lizzy had noticed, too.
“Is he mad at me?” she asked quietly once we heard the click of his bedroom door closing.
I turned the TV back on to drown out our conversation. “Why would he be mad at you?” I asked her, confused.
“I mean, I came back without warning after five years, and now suddenly I’m totally shaking up your whole roommate dynamic,” she explained.
“I don’t think you have to worry about that. I mean, it’s not like we expected things to stay the same forever.”
“You know what I mean, though,” she said.
“I do, but it’s not your fault, Lizzy, seriously.”
“He doesn’t like us dating.”
It was a statement, not a question, and her voice was flat as she delivered it.
“I asked him if it would bother him, and he said that he just wanted us to be happy,” I told her.
She winced. “So, it bothers him, but he’s going to pretend it doesn’t. Badly, so it seems.”
I’d tried to tell myself that it wasn’t the case when I made the decision to call her, but I knew she was right. He’d never told me it wouldn’t bother him, just kind of brushed it off with pleasantries and smiles he didn’t want me to see were plastic and fake.
I sighed. “Yeah.”
“So what do we do?” she asked, turning those big blue eyes on me.
“I’ll talk to him. Don’t worry, we’ll figure this out,” I leaned down and kissed her forehead.
She frowned. “I don’t want this to end before it’s even really had a chance to start,” she admitted, “But I love Mason, and I don’t want to hurt him.”
“I know what you mean,” I agreed, “I feel the same way.”
And it’s true, I think, even in my hazy, pre-caffeine thoughts as I trudge downstairs in need of coffee. I do love Mason, and the idea of losing him over this…honestly, I’m not sure what idea hurts worse, losing him or losing Lizzy.
I’ve always thought of Mason as my best friend, maybe even something like a brother, but the more I realize just how afraid I am of losing him, the more I’m starting to wonder.
Do I just love Mason? Or am I…actually in love with him?
I’ve never really looked at him that way before. I guess I’d looked at guys in my life and found them attractive, but I figured it was just a general appreciation.
And yeah, Mason is a fucking good-looking dude, with a chiseled physique, wavy golden hair, and a panty-dropping smile. Or boxers too, I guess. He’s been open in the past about the fact that he plays for both teams.
I’d thought about it, and honestly, I’d never ruled out the possibility that I might be into dudes, too. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about the prospect of taking it in the ass, but there are guys who don’t, right? Or maybe it’s something I’d be open to once I got comfortable enough, with the right person…Although to be honest, the only person I can ever imagine trusting like that would be him.
But it doesn’t make sense, because I’m still head over fucking heels for Lizzy, too. So what am I supposed to do, choose between them and lose the other one for good? Because right now, it feels like my entire friendship with both of them is hanging on by a thread, and I don’t know what the hell to do to keep it together.
It’s just not fucking fair. Why can’t I just keep them both? After all, Mason likes Lizzy, too. Maybe even still has feelings for her. Maybe we could work out some kind of backwards “sister-wives” arrangement or some shit.
It sounds ridiculous, and I know it wouldn’t be fair to either one of them to propose it. It’s selfish, at its core.
I’d known from the start that this was going to drop a bomb into my life, but I’d foolishly believed I could contain the damage, fix everything in the aftermath and tie it all up with a bow, get the perfect happy ending.
It was naïve. It was stupid. And now, it had blown up in my face, and rather than putting the pieces back together, I have to figure out which ones can even be salvaged.
