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“That’s true, I hadn’t really thought of that. Thanks for the tip,” I reply, brightening.
“Anytime. So, where’s your other half this morning?” he asks me.
“Still sleeping. Late-night work emergency,” I explain.
“Oof, poor guy,” Chip grimaces, “That sucks. Sweet of you to let him sleep in, though.”
“He needs it. He’s been busting his ass up until the morning we left to come out here, it’s been a rough couple of weeks for him.”
“Well, you guys are in the right place. Sounds like he needs to get some serious relaxation time in.”
“Definitely,” I nod in agreement.
“And how about you? You had a stressful semester? Lots of term papers to grade?” he says, teasing gently.
I grin. “Oh, the worst, if I have to read one more thesis on why the sky is blue…”
Chip laughs. “But jokes aside, I imagine dealing with kids is crazy.”
“Not as crazy as the parents,” I admit, “Kids make sense, honestly, their view of the world is so much simpler than ours. But honestly, I love my job, I wouldn’t say it’s been particularly stressful lately.”
“But something has been,” he says.
The fact that he phrases it as a statement and not a question startles me a little. He’s perceptive, that’s for sure. “Not stressing, exactly,” I admit, hesitating for a moment.
The things weighing on my mind are heavy and personal, and while normally I’d never dream of dumping them on a stranger, there’s something inviting about Chip, and before I know it, I’m spilling like a busted wine glass.
“It’s my first Christmas with no family around,” I blurt out, “My parents split when I was in high school, and I’ve been no-contact with my mom since I was seventeen. And I was fine with all of that, things were better with just me and my dad, but he died in June, so with him gone…” I trail off for a moment, trying to put my words together.
And Chip is patient, waiting for me to collect myself.
“I guess I was just feeling a little empty. A little alone. Don’t get me wrong, I love Brendon so much, and he’s been so amazing, but…”
“But it’s not the same. I get it,” Chip nods, “I left home the second I turned eighteen and never looked back.”
I lift my eyebrows, a little surprised to hear that. He’d been so successful, I guess I’d just assumed he had familial help and support to get there. To know that he’d done it all alone made it all the more impressive.
“Exactly,” I say finally, nodding, “So with all that, I was getting kind of depressed, having a hard time, especially once the winter holiday started and I wasn’t having to get up for work every day.”
I felt a stab of shame and guilt, thinking about just how low my mental state had sunk. There’d been a couple of days where I simply couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed.
After the third day in a row Brendon had come home to me still in my pajamas, he’d gently coaxed me out of bed and into the shower. I think that was when I’d started to snap out of it, seeing the worry etched onto his face.
I felt awful that while he was working so hard, I was doing nothing and sinking lower and lower, and after a full day at the office he still had to come home and care for me.
So I’d tried from that moment to bounce back, adhering to the old “fake it till you make it” adage until it actually seemed to work a little. And now, away from the winter chills, I actually do feel like I’ve made it. I feel like myself again.
“Well, like I said, I think you’re both right where you need to be right now,” Chip says, sincerity in his voice, “You could both use some fun and some downtime. Plus sunshine’s always good for the blues.”
I nod. “I have to agree with you, there. I feel like it literally melts the bad mood away.”
“I do kind of miss the rain and snow sometimes, though,” he admits.
“Would you ever go back?” I ask, “You don’t have to answer if that’s too personal.”
“I kind of always planned to,” he sighs, “But I don’t know anymore. I mean, yeah, it’s always going to be home, but I don’t think I’d ever be able to get back to where I was or anything like that.”
I’m tempted to ask why, wondering what happened, but I get the distinct sense that it’s a bit of a sore spot. Clearly, he loved New York and didn’t really want to leave, but something had just gone wrong.
