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I was frozen in the doorway, glancing around as if to make sure that everything was normal, that everything was okay. I felt like a crazy person, but Teddi was putting me on edge. She’d already been here and she knew which room was my mom’s because she’d seen me the last time and I just...I really didn’t like that. I contemplated asking my mom if she’d be okay moving to a new facility, but one look at her—the hollowness in her cheeks and the tired dullness of her eyes—and I realized she might not be ableto.
When Texas finally reached us, stepping up behind me with his hand on the small of my back, it finally brought me back into the moment. I stepped forward, leaving his comforting touch and headed for thebed.
"I'll be outside," Texas said quietly and quickly left the room, closing the door behindhim.
"Honey? What's wrong?" my mom asked, worry coloring her tone as I headed straight forher.
I stopped by her bed and dropped. My knees slid to the floor as my head came to the mattress and rested there as all the adrenaline that had just been shooting through my system dispersed. My mom's hand landed on the back of my head, stroking softly through my hair. I sighed and scrunched my nose up as I rubbed my cheek against her bedsheets before finally getting to my feet once more. She looked up at me curiously, patting the place beside her. But for some reason, I just stared ather.
Almost a year ago, our lives had been so very different. A year ago, she wouldn't have been acting like this, patting the bed at her side and offering me the comfort and love a mother was supposed to give their children. She would have been screaming and flip-flopping between emotions while I would have been slowly falling apart on the inside. I was almost terrified that one day I'd walk back in here and she'd be that woman again. She wouldn't be this woman I'd come to know—understanding and loving. I had nightmares about it—that I'd walk back in here and she wouldn't recognize me or she'd start screaming at me and throwing things like I was a devil child. My eyes misted over as she reached up and grabbed my hand, squeezinglightly.
"Harlow?"
That one word from her and I crumbled. I leaned down and hugged her tight, wrapping my arms around the woman who had raised me and at the same time, had never been fully there. I cried but held her close so that she wouldn't see. She didn't fight me and let me hold her as she stroked my hair back against my skull. Even though she didn't see the way the tears tracked marks down my cheeks, I knew she could tell. I made no noise, but my shoulders were shaking so badly, there was no doubt as to what I wasdoing.
"My sweet Harlow," she whispered. "It's okay, Honey. It's going to beokay."
She had no clue why I'd run in here like the devil was on my heels. She had no idea why I was crying, but she was trying everything in her power to make me feel better and somehow...itworked.
Finally, after several moments of clutching onto her like I was a small child again and my mom could make all my troubles go away, I pulled back and she wiped my cheeks. "Won't you tell me what's wrong?" she asked, cupping my cheeks in herhand.
I didn't know how to. It was irrational—I knew Teddi wouldn't do anything so evil as to hurt my mom, but it really bugged me that she'd been at the Care Center. That she knew things about my life—about where my mom was staying, about where I went with the guys. It made me wonder what else she knew and what she could possibly be planning. A part of me wondered if we should have just gone away until it all blew over, but another part of me—a much larger part—realized that trying to run from my problems wouldn't fix them. I wanted to fight back, but sometimes, the pressure just became toomuch.
I smiled against my mom's hand and reached up, putting my fingers over hers. "I just needed my mom," Iadmitted.
Blinking in confusion, but obviously pleased by my response, she smiled back at me. "Honey, I'm always here when you needme."
"I know," I said. "I loveyou."
"I love you, too, Baby. Do you want to invite Texas innow?"
I shook my head. "No, we have to go soon, but I just want to sit with you for another few minutes. Is thatokay?"
"Oh, Baby, you know I'm always happy to see you." I wondered if she knew how much those words meant to me—because there had been a time when that wasn't true. I didn't say as much, but I did turn my face and press a kiss to her palm. "Why don't you tell me how those boys of yours are doing?" she offered with asmirk.
I laughed at her expression and nodded. "There's actually a new one," Isaid.
She gaped at me. "Dear Lord, girl, you'repopular."
I shook my head. "No, it's not that. He's kinda been there all along, but he was always so..." I didn't know how to explain Grayson. "He's had some bad influences," I finallyfinished.
"Ahhh." She nodded in understanding and dropped her hand down to pat my lap. "Some good men just need better friends before they can come into theirown."
"He's got good friends now," I admitted. "Thebest."
"Then he'll be okay," my momsaid.
I talked to her for a little bit more, telling her about Grayson and filling her in on how the others were doing. We talked about Bellamy's art and Knix's company. And when Texas knocked on the door and asked me if we needed anything, I shook myhead.
“I’ll be right out,” Isaid.
“Take your time, Spider-Monkey,” he replied. “I’ll be in the lobby.” With that, he disappeared from the doorway, leaving us alone oncemore.
"I'm sorry I can't stay longer," I said as I got off thebed.
My mom shook her head. "Don't worry about it, Honey. I'll see you next time you come. I loveyou."
I almost choked up and started crying again, but I managed to hold myself back as I headed for the door and for Texas. "I'll see you again soon," I promised. "I love you too,Mom."
When the door closed behind me and Texas took my hand, I paused in the Care Center's hallway and turned to him, crushing my face against his chest as his arms wrapped around me. I didn't cry this time, I just pressed my nose against the fabric of his shirt and inhaled his scent, letting him comfort me and letting his smell calm mysoul.
Without him—without the others—I didn't like to think of where I would have been, where my mom would have been. There was no way I would let Teddi ruinthat.
