AllFreeNovel
Share Us
LUCAS
Sweat drips down my face, adding to the puddle forming underneath me as I do another set of push-ups. I’ve lost count of how many it’s been so far. I only know my shoulders and arms are burning from the effort.
But I welcome it. That’s exactly what I want right now. To exhaust my body beyond the point of conscious thought. I need oblivion. I crave it. I even welcome the pain, gritting my teeth and pushing through though my body screams in protest. I deserve it. I need the punishment.
Since the option of finding a fight and snuffing out a man’s life is off the table now, I have to do what I can to keep myself in check.
I can’t remember the last time I was in this great a need. The sense of falling apart at the seams is like a shadow following me. No matter how I try to dodge it, there’s no avoiding it. I’m losing control.
My growl fills the room, and I double my efforts, shouting out my pain, fatigue, and rage. Finally, my muscles reach the point of complete exhaustion and give out on me. Rather than fall face-first in my sweat, I roll to the side and stare at the ceiling, my heavy breathing filling the air.
All I see in front of me is her. Smiling. Crying. Finding her mother’s letter. Staring me down when all I wanted was to watch fear spark behind her eyes.
What the fuck am I doing? This can’t go on.
I should never have brought her here. Not to the school, definitely not to my apartment. I hate her. I miss her. I resent her. I want to protect her. She’s become an obsession I resent and crave in equal parts.
She’s brought back every one of my worst tendencies. And I don’t know how to manage it. I feel myself slipping back into my old ways—that fight was the tip of the iceberg. I want to hurt something. I want to hurt it in hopes of ending my own pain.
Damn that Lauren. I’m talking to myself the way she talks to me, and I barely recognize the voice in my head anymore. I don’t need to know why I do what I do. What I need is to forget. To disconnect. Here I was, thinking working out until I collapsed was the way to do it.
Lying on the floor isn’t going to help anything, either. I drag myself up and grab a towel from the bathroom to wipe up the sweat before getting in the shower. Propping my forearms against the wall, I lean into the spray with my head lowered, so the steaming water runs down my shoulders and back. Normally, a strenuous workout leaves me feeling more alive. Right now, I’m tempted to wish I was anything but.
This has been the longest day of my life. As it turns out, there wasn’t nearly as much work waiting for me as I imagined—what a shame since I didn’t realize until it was too late that I was counting on that work to take my mind off Delilah. Instead, there was nothing for me to do after a few hours but wonder if she was safe. If she was afraid.
Of course she’s afraid. I saw that much written all over her face before I put a hand on her last night. Anyone with a scrap of common sense would be scared out of their mind in her position.
I hardly made things better.
But that isn’t my job, dammit. That’s what I tried to remind myself of today, though it didn’t work. She’s not my problem. This school is my problem. Aspen is my problem. Not this damn girl.
No matter how much I want to go to her. It would be so simple to go to her room and let her know she isn’t totally alone. That I crave her more than I crave air. I crave her scent. The sound of her voice. The tight clenching of her pussy around my cock in the split second before she comes.
To think I used to value my solitude. This apartment was always my escape, my refuge, the one place in this enormous structure where I could be myself. No mask, no need to be professional.
When I look around after finishing in the shower, I see is how empty it is. Devoid of life, bleak as fuck without her presence. I got used to her. How stupid can a man be? I became accustomed to her company and can’t remember life before her.
A buzzing from the coffee table catches my attention. What a surprise. My brother calling to make sure everything is all right. In other words, he wants to check up on me and make sure I haven’t managed to fuck something else up in the hours since we said goodbye. I’m surprised he didn’t ask me to text when we arrived so he’d know we were safe. Sometimes, I think domestic bliss has castrated him.
Only it isn’t Nic. I do recognize the number, though. My jaw clenches as I answer the call and raise the phone to my ear. “Xander. Hello.”
He doesn’t mince words. “Tell me it’s a joke.”
I have to take a deep breath before I lose it. This call was expected. I was hoping it would be at least twenty-four hours before it came since I haven’t yet come up with a plausible excuse for bringing her here. “What are you talking about?”
“Tell me that girl isn’t at Corium.”
“And what if she is?”
“Then I’m inclined to believe you’ve lost your fucking mind. Have you forgotten what she tried to do? Are you unaware of what she managed to do during her little hiatus? Of course, you’re aware of it. Everyone knows you are.”
He has no idea he is fucking with the wrong person right now. I close my eyes, clench my teeth, and fight to keep myself under control. The man is an insufferable prick, but I can’t alienate him. Not entirely.
“What would you like me to do?”
“Why do you ask stupid questions?” Before I can warn him against ever calling me or anything I say stupid, he charges forward. “I want her out of there. She can’t be trusted, and you know she can’t be trusted! Dammit! You have no business bringing her to Corium. She’s more a liability than anything, a loose end.”
I’m still fighting to hold my tongue when he adds, “I would think you of all people would want to keep her out of there. Unless you don’t care that she nearly got your daughter killed.”
