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“How are you holding up after what happened?”
I can’t help but pace in front of her, and she doesn’t try to stop me. “You mean besides not sleeping, and the graphic nightmares I end up having when I do?”
“You know, I can give you something to help with that. You’ll go down hard and stay that way. No nightmares.”
It’s tempting. But… “I don’t know if I should take anything like that. But thank you.”
What happens if I’m out cold when somebody decides they want to break in and hurt me? I need to be able to react if there’s a noise outside. Not to mention the whole ‘my secret birth mother may or may not have died from an overdose’ thing. I don’t think I’d be able to take a pill without thinking of her. Not that I need an excuse to. She’s never far from my thoughts.
“The offer’s still good if you change your mind.”
I like the way she doesn’t try to push anything on me. That must be what loosens me up a little bit. “I don’t know what to think about anything. I’m so confused.”
“What do you mean?”
It might not be a good idea to confess all this to her, but I have to get it off my chest. I’ll lose my mind if I don’t. “Like Lucas. He saved me. I know it couldn’t have been easy.”
“He’s never let anything like that stop him before.”
“But the next minute, he’s all cold and distant and acting like an asshole.” I cover my mouth with my hand, horrified. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Please, don’t—”
She holds up her hands, laughing softly. “Trust me. You are not the first person to ever call Lucas Diavolo an asshole. Matter of fact, I call him worse to his face. And he deserves it. I know from experience.”
I’m so relieved that I can’t help but laugh with her. I’m so glad she came to see me. Not that this changes anything—I’m still scared out of my mind—but at least I can process things a little better.
“I’m really scared,” I whisper. “I’m afraid to leave this room.”
Her laughter dies. “I understand. But nobody is going to hurt you here. They can’t.”
“They’ll find a way.”
“And that’s why if anyone so much as looks at you the wrong way, you’re going to come to me, or you’re going to go to Lucas. But either way, you’re going to tell somebody.”
I snicker. “Come to you, got it.”
“There you go. You do have friends here. You aren’t alone.” She stands and takes me by the arms. “One thing you cannot do is let them win by locking yourself in here. You don’t need to flaunt yourself, but don’t hide either. The one thing you can’t show is weakness.”
I wouldn’t expect something like that to come from her. She seems a lot more like the kind of person who would give me a bunch of happy little inspirational quotes. If you’re going through hell, keep going. That sort of useless crap.
Then again, I guess working around these people means having to be a realist. She has to meet them where they are, good or bad.
“I’m lucky to have you on my side.”
“And that’s exactly where I am. Remember, anything you need. You come and see me. At least you’ll have a day to get yourself settled before starting classes again tomorrow—call my office if you need to talk.” She drops her hands and looks like she’s about to go to the door when she stops herself. “One more thing. I know Lucas is prickly, stubborn, and contrary to the point where he sometimes makes you want to strangle him. But he’s not all bad. And he’s the kind of ally you want to have, too. He didn’t put you in this room as a punishment. It’s protection. It might be difficult to see it now, but I know that’s where his heart is.”
His heart. It’s all I can do not to laugh at the idea of him having one. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”
“I’ll get out of your hair now.” She leaves with a little smile, and right away, my mood sinks. I feel a little better but no safer. At least I know I can go to her when I start getting threats—and I know I will. That’s not a question. It’s only a matter of time.
I’m not leaving this school alive if they have their way. For all I know, Quinton and his buddies are plotting my demise as I pace my room, chewing my nails, wishing I had it in me to do what Lauren described. Having confidence and not hiding. Letting them know they can’t break me.
At least that part is true. How can you break something that’s already been broken?
