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I’d let them stay so I wasn’t so lonely.
“Fine,” I said, slapping my thighs and getting up. “I’ll figure it out for myself.”
“You can make your own happiness, God of the Underworld,” Lachesis preached. “We spin the threads of the humans, we control their births, lives, and deaths. But you’re a god.”
A god who couldn’t ask about my fate, obviously. But I didn’t say it. Instead, I nodded, pretending I actually believed them, and left.
When I arrived at Elyse’s apartment, I took form outside her front door. It seemed inappropriate to appear in the middle of her home after everything that had happened between us, but I also felt one of the other gods was in her company. Poseidon, in fact. I’d pick up my brother’s signature anywhere. I lifted my knuckles to knock on the door, but it opened before I could.
Poseidon stood in front of me. “It’s about time you came,” he snarled.
I scowled. “You all seem to have it under control.”
He shook his head. “She’d actually like to see you, which is the only reason I’m leaving you two alone. Don’t fuck it up.” His brow furrowed and the look in his gaze was a threat that he intended to make me pay if I made things worse.
He stepped out of the apartment before I could say anything, and, seeing I didn’t know what to say anyway, I merely nodded and strolled through the door.
Elyse sat on the couch and looked up as if she’d expected me. The anger in her eyes was on fire, but behind those gleaming irises, she showed me the scared child within, the girl who was taught to fight and never be afraid. But now…she was drowning.
The latter was unexpected, but what did I think was going to happen? She was going to run into my arms with teary eyes and a smile? We didn’t have that kind of relationship.
In fact, we didn’t have much of a relationship at all. I’d made sure of that.
“Where were you?” Her voice was snappy.
“Why do you care? The fact I came back should be enough for you.” Fuck, I sounded like an ass. So, what else was new?
She stood from the couch, her shoulders squared, her eyes narrowing. “You’re so selfish. I wonder why you came back at all. What is it you’re trying to do here? Are you attempting to convince me I need you or something? Because I’ve been getting along fine without you.”
I shook my head. Why did it always turn into a fight with her? Yes, she was a fantastic fighter, and half the time when we got into it, it made me want her more than anything. There was something about a woman who could hold her own that was a particular weakness to me, but I didn’t want to argue, not this time.
“Look, I’m not here to get into an argument with you.”
Elyse folded her arms over her chest. “Could have fooled me. You’re like a storm, blowing into my apartment.”
“You can’t have the best of both worlds—either you accept me and all the bullshit that comes with it, or you don’t have me in your life at all. What will it be?”
She blinked at me, and I had to admit, I’d caught myself by surprise, too. I just offered all of me to her, in a sense. The atmosphere around us changed and charged, the way it always did when we were this angry with each other. Suddenly, all I desired was my skin on hers, to bury myself inside her and forget everything that was going wrong. She affected me unlike any other. When we were apart, I couldn’t get her out of my mind, and when we stood close, all other thoughts fogged, with only her in my sights. Maybe this was why I kept my distance—because in her presence, I forgot myself.
Elyse made the first move, stepping closer. I met her in the middle, wrapping my arms around her, and mashed my lips against hers. I didn’t give a fuck where Poseidon had gone, or if he still hung around. I’d take Elyse and fuck her the way I dreamed of, the way I needed to.
I lifted her off her feet, and in a flash, we were on the floor. She gasped at the speed with which I moved her, but I didn’t care. She could handle it. And I needed her horizontal underneath me, so that was how I laid her.
I tugged up her shirt, pushing my fingers under the bra she wore—a normal bra for a change, not the sports shit that was so tight I couldn’t get in there—and her skin was scalding hot under my fingertips.
She moaned in my ear when I ground my thick cock against her pussy, her legs already open for me, even though neither of us were undressed. I’d missed her touch, her sexy scent, her breath on my neck. Hell, everything about her intoxicated me.
What was I doing? We were never going to get out of this cycle, were we?
And if I stayed in the pattern, where was it going to take me?
I broke the kiss and backed off, getting away from her as quickly as I could. I nearly hit the far wall of her living room before I stopped. Elyse still lay on the floor, her eyes filled with lust as she looked up at me, hurt spreading over her expression.
“Where are you going?” she asked, out of breath.
Fuck, I needed her so badly. But I couldn’t do this because we’d end up fighting afterward, she’d hate me further, and I’d run. Again and again.
“Away,” I said in a hoarse voice then I disappeared.
I felt like a dick for leaving her on the floor like that, vibrating with need. I tried to battle the ache inside me that begged me to go back, that screamed to finish what I’d started. But I couldn’t do it. If I did it this time, I’d admit something to myself that I didn’t want to face—I was going to start falling for her. And I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t be in love again. Because one thing I’d learned after all this time was how I wasn’t capable of love without sacrificing something of myself.
And I didn’t know if I had anything left to give.
