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“My affirmation is only one word.” Lyndsey paused to complete one final makeup adjustment, before addressing herself in the mirror. “Queen.”
“I don’t think that’s how it works.”
“Of course, that’s how it works. It’s an affirmation!” Lyndsey crossed the distance between us to stand in front of me. “All that matters is that you believe it and feel empowered.”
“Well, maybe I just need a new one.” Something along the lines of,Average is awesome, orYou don’t suck as much as you think.
“No, Aly. This one is you.” Lyndsey shook her head, the southern drawl coming on hard. “You’re smart, beautiful and willing to work your ass off to get whatever you want. That’s the trinity of successful traits right there. Now own it!”
I sigh.
What the hell.I have nothing to lose in saying it, I suppose. The silliness I feel shouldn’t matter when it’s only Lyndsey and me in the room anyway. “I have everything I need to succeed.”
“Good. Now again, with more feeling.”
“I have absolutely everything I will ever need to succeed,” I shout, before bursting out into laughter.
Alright. I have to admit, I feel a little bit better. In the least, it helps to know I have a supportive roommate like Lyndsey to keep me going. My phone buzzes in my palm.
One new notification.
I hold my breath. It’s an email from Berkeley.
“What is it?” Lyndsey notes the change in my face.
My heart pounds furiously. I haven’t even opened the email yet.Win or lose, this does not define you.My fingers shake so uncontrollably I can barely press the right section on the touchscreen. The email opens and the cool rush of relief slides down my chest.
“I made it!” I shout, trying to keep myself from jumping up and down.
Lyndsey squeals beside me before throwing her arms around my neck. “I told you! What does it say? What are the next steps?”
“It says they’ll send me more information later on in the week.”
“Good.” Lyndsey claps her hands together excitedly. The bounce in her steps continues as she nearly dances from side to side. I can’t remember a time when I had that much energy. “When you get home from work tonight, we’ll celebrate!”
“I don’t think-”
Lyndsey groans. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to take you anywhere crazy. We can stay in for the night. I’ll order a pizza. Buy a nice bottle of Prosecco.”
“But there’s so much work-”
“Girl, stop!” Her hand flies out to stop me, silencing me like the queen she proclaims herself to be. “If I can cheat on my keto diet for this, then you can take an hour out of your busy life for some girl time.”
I laugh. “Fine. I’ll prepare myself for the nail polish and pillow fight.”
“You better.” Lyndsey buffs her fingernails on her shoulder. “I am the undefeated champ at pillow fighting.”
I check the time. My heart is still fluttering like a caged bird. I want to enjoy this moment, to relish in what little accomplishment I’ve made so far.
I just don’t want to get my hopes up. You know, just in case.
* * *
One hour into my shift and the jittery excitement still hasn’t left my fingers. I’m fumbling with the scanning gun, taking inventory of these giant slabs of lumber I would never be able to haul on my own. Not because I’m weak. Just because they’re over twice my height.
It doesn’t matter. This whole shelving unit could collapse on me now, and I’d have died happy. I’ve got my chance at that apprenticeship, and the more I think about it, the more I allow myself to dream.
A dangerous idea, perhaps. I guess Lyndsey has finally started to wear off on me.
