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She still held me at arm’s length, still expected us to pretend like we didn’t care about one another. I couldn’t carry on like this for much longer. Every second around her stood as a constant reminder that no woman would ever make me feel the same way she did.
Not even Crystal.
I was screwed.
In time, my feelings would fade. Didn’t they always? But, for now, what did I do with them? I should be willing to move heaven and earth for the woman I cared about. Though there was a difference between fighting for someone and pushing them too far. I had to draw the line somewhere, and Lyndsey had made it clear she wanted our relationship to remain one of business only.
But even that wasn’t working anymore. It was all or nothing.
I found her outside, sitting at one of the benches facing the lake. Most of the guests remained inside, eating, and listening to music that was only a dull string of indiscernible melodies from out here. She didn’t even notice me approaching, no doubt lost in thoughts far more interesting than an event like this.
The breeze rippled through her straight blonde hair, tossing the strands in every erratic rhythm of the wind. Her face lifted upward to the pale sliver of moonlight descending over her, as if drawing energy from the stars above. She looked like some ancient earth goddess consulting the forest spirits for guidance.
She was wild, unexplored territory. An enigma I would never be able to wrap my head around. And I was foolish enough to want more.
“Your friends seem nice,” I said, using the only words I could think of to announce myself.
She jumped. Her wide eyes assessed me with suspicion, as if she assumed my presence there could only be the work of menace. “They are.”
I claimed a seat beside her on the bench. “They said you might be heading up the operation down here. Or at least be a point of contact.”
She raised a shoulder, no longer looking at me. All of her attention was on the water. “They mentioned it. I haven’t given them my final decision yet.”
“That would require quite a commitment, wouldn’t it?”
That got her attention, though it was not the reaction I’d intended. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“I just thought you had no intention of staying here,” I explained. Because she hadn’t. Wasn’t that what she’d been saying from the beginning.
Wasn’t it what everyone expected? “Not long-term anyway.”
“Is thatyouropinion of me?” She leaned a chin into her palm, her arm propped up at the elbow against the table. “Or is it your sister’s?”
“God, Lyndsey.Youtold me you don’t do long-term.” Though she wasn’t entirely wrong.
“And a person can never change?”
I sucked in a breath, steadying myself to the possibilities of such a declaration. “Have you? Is that what you still want?”
“What I want doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it matters.” I moved closer to her. “That’s my whole point. You keep worrying about what everyone else wants, your parents, your cousins, and your grandmother. What do you want?”
“It isn’t that simple.” Her voice cracked.
An ache awakened, and I struggled with wanting to pull her into my arms. “Sometimes, the things we want come at too high a cost.”
“Then you don’t really want it, do you?”
She peered up into my face with a bittersweet longing. The torment there fed an unjustified hope within me, that she still cared, and still wanted this. Even if something I didn’t understand was still holding her back. She confessed nothing, and yet all the pain she’d harbored over the past few days reflected in her gaze like a mirror. I recognized all the same fears and needs I battled every minute apart from her in the eyes now illuminated by starlight.
“Of course, I do,” she whispered.
“Then you would fight for it, blood, tooth, and nail.” Against all reason, my hand rose to her cheek, trailing a finger along the line of her jaw. Her breasts pushed upward on a shallow breath, and her lips parted in surrender. The pad of my thumb glided over her lower lip. Old sensations merged with the new, and memories of her mouth over mine coaxed me into dangerous territory. “The way I’d fight for you, if you’d let me.”
She sighed, something short of exasperation and tears. Her body tilted forward, drawn to me by the same inexplicable force compelling me to her. Though at the last second, she pulled away and removed my touch. “You should get inside to your girlfriend before she sees you with me.”
Not this time.
