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This got his attention. Julian shut his book and looked up at me with a dark gaze.
“You don’t want to start something you can’t finish,” he growled.
I was ready to finish whatever I’d started, but then I was jerked back to reality by the crashing boom of the outside weather. Any attraction that had been brewing in my heart, any feeling of safety that had been instilled by the warm lights of the library was immediately wiped out. The lights sputtered out, and the sound of the rain against the windows felt like knives in my mind. Garth’s cruel smile glinted from the corners of my psyche, and my father’s indifferent attitude flowed over the sense of doom growing in my stomach. I was breathing faster and faster, trying to keep up with the racing of my heart. I couldn’t be in the dark, not again, notagain—
“Evelyn,” Julian’s low voice said.
It was like a sedative, calming me enough to look up to him. Emergency lights flicked on, the green glow of them illuminated Julian. His eyes were worried, and he was reaching towards me, but he was falling away under years of trauma, and it was like a tunnel. It was like I was standing in the subway, and so,solost. I was waiting for a train that was either never coming or would run me over when it arrived. I thought I heard thunder, pounding closer and closer, but it was footsteps.
I was being held then, arms wrapped tightly around me.
“Evvie,” Hannah whispered, “Oh my God, you’re okay, Evvie.”
Hannah’s touch grounded me, and I was able to return the gesture. I wrapped my shaking arms around her and buried my face in her shoulder. My hands were still fists, pressed into her back, and I let the tears fall freely while my friend held me.
“I’m sorry,” Julian said, “I didn’t know.”
I couldn’t say anything, but Hannah shook her head.
“Neither did I, until today. Could you go turn on the generator? I think it will help.”
I didn’t hear Julian leave, but then it was just Hannah and I, alone in the dark.
“Thank you,” I whispered, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
“Don’t thank me,” Hannah responded, “You’re my best friend, and I know you’d do anything for me. I can at least return the favor.”
Moments earlier I had been making a move on her father, and now I was leaning on her for emotional support. I had to be the most despicable person ever, to be crushing on Julian and relying on Hannah.
The lights flickered on moments later, and I extracted myself from my friend’s arms, brushing away my tears with swipes from the sweater cuffs still covering my hands. I took a proper look at the fabric on my hands, and then my arms. It looked like a men’s sweater and fell down to the middle of my denim-clad thighs. It must have been Julian’s, and I snuggled further into the warmth of it.
“Still, thank you,” I said to Hannah, running my fingers over the soft material of the cuffs.
Hannah waved me off awkwardly.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” she asked. “When you get like that, I mean.”
“Not really,” I said slowly, “It’s kind of like all these memories just…”
I swept my hands over my head to demonstrate, and Hannah tilted her head, mouth pursed like she knew exactly what I was talking about.
“Yeah, I feel like that sometimes,” she said. “Not with storms or anything, but just, y’know…”
I grinned feebly. Like Julian, we didn’t need to speak, and instead, I just sat near her, enjoying her company.
Speaking of which, Julian reappeared at the top of the stairs, with Andrew, Victoria, and a couple of other maids in tow.
“Thanks for turning on the generator, Dad,” Hannah said.
Julian smiled at her, a warmer smile than I’d ever seen him offer her before. Hannah looked a little taken aback as well, and I watched her eyes. I saw the moment those shields went up on both of them.
“No problem,” Julian said stiffly, “We shouldn’t go below this level. I know we’re out of the evacuation zone, but I don’t want to risk anything, and the building is reinforced from here on up.”
I wanted something, anything, to break the tension in the air. I could have cut it with a knife, but we couldn’t go to the kitchen.
“Do you have any cards?” I asked.
Julian nodded and went over to the library desk. He handed me a pack that felt like they’d never been opened.
