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“You’re not going to report me or anything?”
“The guy abused you, repeatedly, cruelly, foryears. Not to mention he tracked you across two states and tried to kill you. No, Evelyn, I’m not going to report you or anything like that. Please continue.”
His whole face held signs of strain, but I continued, knowing that was what he wanted.
“They said he had drunk so much that he’d died of alcohol poisoning. That was the official cause of death, anyway. I got to Utah, and I worked dead-end jobs to save up for college applications. I spent two years scrimping and saving, living in homeless shelters and hostels. My father never came after me. I figure he forgot I even existed. Once I got to New York, things were different. People here didn’t know me, they didn’t know my story. They didn’t know my mom, or my dad, or Garth. They didn’t see me in stolen clothes, or eating gas station sandwiches on park benches. Things were a lot better.”
“Of course, money has been tight, but I can handle that because money isnothingcompared to the feeling of having to go home. If I ever had to leave here though, I’d end up with him. I hear that my father is doing better. He’s in some kind of court-mandated rehab and living in an apartment. I have no savings, and he, if nothing else, would have been a connection. I know he’d let me live with him if I was bringing home money. I don’t have to be scared of Garth anymore. I’m still scared though. Scared of Oregon and the past that’s there. Scared of the life I left behind, scared of turning my father back into everything he had been throughout my childhood.”
I contorted my face to stop my eyes stinging like I was going to cry. This wasnotthe time to cry. Even if it was all true. I watched Julian carefully.
“So now you know,” I whispered.
“Hmm,” he said.
I held my breath, no idea what was going on in his head. After a moment though, he scooted towards me and opened his arms?—an invitation. I let myself be held, and after a few moments, he kissed the top of my head.
“Thank you for telling me,” he uttered.
That was all there was. There was a finality to his tone. He didn’t ask questions and he didn’t rage and scream and yell. Instead, he just held me, just let me be Evelyn Stearns, and didn’t expect anything else. I wondered how I got so lucky again and remembered that my mother had expected me to have fantastic adventures. I wondered if she ever thought I’d have an adventure as amazing as Julian.
“I love you,” I said.
“I love you too,” he responded easily.
My heart swelled with his admission, and I had to suppress my grin, despite having just re-lived the worst days of my life. I could see this being something I could get used to; us talking about the hard things, and then just holding each other. It was warm under the blanket, and comfortable in his arms, and I had no desire to be anywhere that he wasn’t.
“We still have things we have to sort out,” I frowned. “Hannah, what we might be, where this could evengo…”
He kissed the top of my head again, and I felt his chin rest in the same space. I let my face stay buried in his chest, close enough to feel like we were one person.
“Hush,” he murmured, “We have time, we’ll figure it all out. For now, let’s justbe.”
Just being sounded nice. With some difficulty, I shut my mind off and let my body just relish in the closeness. We lay there for as long as I thought we could get away with, and then I just watched him.
His eyes were dark. For a brief moment, I wondered if my admission, if him hearing about all the awful things I’d done, all the ways I was completely unworthy of him had pushed him over the edge. I wondered if this feral gaze was a rejection. My mind cleared though, and I saw his expression for what it truly was. I hadn’t ever been close enough to someone to consider how their eyes changed with their emotions, but his were screaming that he was feeling only one thing: arousal.
My body ached from the way he pleasured me just hours ago, but I couldn’t deny that once more, the very touch of his hands to the bare skin of my back was heavenly. I couldn’t deny that the arousal I saw in his eyes was the same that was now coursing through my veins, leaving almost painful echoes of want in the very depths of my being. The heady smell of him wrapped around me, dragging my mind further into that space where I would submit to him, give him anything he wanted, and ask for nothing but his touch in return. His fingers just kept tracing circles on my back, and when he let his hands fall lower, I groaned, pushing into his touch.
“Shh,” he whispered.
My body reacted like that was an indisputable command. I fell silent and turned my head to gain an even better view of him. Everything about the man in front of me was masculine, from the stubble that lined his face to the hard lines of the body that was so close to me, I could almost touch it. Every particle of my being reacted to him, was pulled towards him, and I couldn’t help, despite the aching that had settled deep in my bones, but let myself gravitate towards him. His arms wrapped around me, the impossible heat of him warming me up and pulling me onto another level of consciousness. I became aware of everything around us; the whisper of the sheets as we moved, the heavy darkness that fell around us, and his face. It was the only thing I could see, and only when close to him. If I moved too far away, I knew I’d be alone again, unable to grasp him. So I stayed, I held him, and I ignored the other, intruding sensation that crept through my heart. It was time. Time knew that what we were doing was forbidden, time knew that if anyone else found out about us, laying in the dark with aching bones and a heavy heart, we’d be in the kind of trouble that could shatter worlds, could bring everything down around us.
I shut off that part of my mind. I told myself that the only thing that mattered was the feeling of his skin on mine, his hands running down me, the goosebumps he raised with his touch. His hands dipped lower and touched the moisture gathering between my thighs. I sighed into him, and he pulled me closer.
“Beautiful,” he murmured, and I melted.
I melted into everything I wanted to be and everything I wanted to be for him.
But we couldn’t—the cruel mistress of time whispered this to me even as my pleasure levels spiked and I wanted to beg for more. I knew we couldn’t be together, I knew we were on borrowed time, but with his hand between my legs and his breath soft and warm on my ear, I couldn’t help but wonder if we could find the meaning of eternity in this place.
Eventually, we had to crawl out of the sanctuary that we created in his room. He led me into his bathroom, and we showered. It wasn’t sexual and he was incredibly gentle. He cleaned my back and left loving kisses across my shoulders. When we got out, I took a glance in the mirror to see marks littering my skin, from the column of my throat down to the valley of my breasts. Thankfully, it was turtleneck season. I stole a glance at the time, and Julian and I decided we should go our separate ways since Hannah would be home within the hour. I pulled my housekeeping dress back on, along with all my other layers, and left his room after the briefest of kisses.
I headed back up to the rooftop garden and saw that Victoria had continued with our work. She gave me a smirk that said she knew exactly what we’d done. I smiled politely back but continued the rest of our work with a huge grin on my face. It was surreal to think that when I’d last been up there, I’d been so angry with Julian. Now, everything was different.
I finished my work with a smile on my face, and bid Victoria a good night. I ran to change into a turtleneck before dinner, and when I joined Hannah and Julian in the dining room, there was none of the tension that had been building for months. I had the best meal with them yet, and Hannah definitely picked up on it. Julian bantered with his daughter about her day, and I saw her slowly begin to melt around him. She was still cautious, like this version of her father was a trick that might disappear any second. I followed her to her room after dinner, and lounged on her bed with my textbooks open. She sat at her computer, but was scrolling through her phone.
“Dad was weird at dinner,” she said distractedly.
