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My heart leaped again.
“Of course not!” I practically shouted, and my friend looked up. “You should go out! Have fun! Be young! Tell me all about it!”
“Is dating my old man really that boring that you need the details of my love life?” she asked skeptically, and I hit her.
Things were definitely easier now. There wasn’t animosity between Hannah and me, no matter how rocky things had been in the beginning. I was so happy that instead of being creeped on by men in a casino, instead of eating instant ramen for the fourth night in a row, instead of crying myself to sleep on a rock-hard mattress, I had this. I had light, and warmth, and so much love my heart felt like it might explode with all of it. The scared girl in Utah that didn’t want to trust was almost gone, but a small piece of her hung around, reminding me every day of just how damn lucky I was.
My friend hit me back, and things were okay.
I was waiting outside when Julian arrived. The wet season had passed, and now the weather held all the wonder of a humid city. I had decided against a coat and instead went with my classic jeans and a blouse. I didn’t look bad, per se, but I hoped we weren’t going anywhere extravagant.
Julian pulled up in his Tesla, and I climbed in the passenger seat.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“You’ll see,” Julian said mysteriously, and he began driving.
We drove out of the city, and then kept going. Julian steered us onto the highway, and we passed several exits. I couldn’t help it—the curiosity was killing me.
“Where are you taking me?” I whined, “Because now would be areallybad time to find out that you want to murder me.”
Julian just smiled his mysterious smile though and turned the radio up louder. As classical music poured through the car, I sat back in my seat and tried to be content. I should just be enjoying the night, really. It was clear, and out of the windows, I could spot a couple of the constellations Julian pointed out to me. When trees started appearing, I got even more curious, but Julian was staring happily at the road, maneuvering through the small amount of traffic there was. He was humming along quietly to the song, and I decided that I could be content, should be content. I was with the man I loved, the road was smooth, and the music was loud enough that I could feel it thrumming through me. I let it lull me into relaxation, and before I knew it, my eyes were drifting closed.
“Evelyn,” Julian was saying, “We’re here, darling.”
I forced my eyes open, even though they felt like they’d been glued shut. Julian held out his hand, and I took it, letting him help me out of the car. It looked like we were parked in the middle of the woods, but the sight in front of me was phenomenal. Blankets were spread out on the forest floor, with piles of cushions and blankets laid out as well. It was a small clearing, with fairy lights strewn across the trees. They made it look like the forest was alive.
“You did this?” I asked without turning back around.
I felt Julian slide his arms around my waist, and hook his chin on my shoulder.
“Do you know what today is?” he asked.
“July...sixth?” I queried, “I think?”
I racked my memory, but our official anniversary was December twenty-ninth, two weeks after we returned from Nevada, and I had begun believing he wasn’t going anywhere. The first time he asked me on a date.
“Yes,” he murmured, “Do you remember what you were doing this time last year?”
I thought back to July of the year before, and the only thing I could remember doing was taking the campus tour where I’d met Hannah, and then I’d walked home, to my apartment…
“We’re celebrating the night I was attacked?” I asked, confused.
Julian kissed my neck until I giggled.
“No,silly, July sixth was the day after, when there was this girl… I’d only meant to stop something bad happening to her, but I was stuck with her face inside my head. I thought about her for months, and then Hannah brought her home. So, July sixth is the day I realized I could fall in love again.”
I turned and kissed the man that still held me wrapped in his arms. I hoped the kiss conveyed everything I could never say, all the thoughts of him that had passed through my head, wondering if I’d ever see him again. I hoped he knew about them, but I already knew he understood. I got it, why love made people do crazy things because his very presence was intoxicating. It was almost scary. If he had asked me to do things that were against my moral code, I probably would have done them. Part of that love was trusting that he would never ask that of me though.
I kissed him until I was out of breath, and would have kissed him some more, except he pulled away, and led me to the blankets. He lay me down amongst the pillows and pulled out a bottle of wine he stashed there. With it open, and two glasses magically appearing as well, we lay together, sipped wine, and stared at the stars. Finally, I felt content.
“There’s another reason I brought you here,” Julian said quietly, and my heart leaped into my mouth.
Was he going to propose? There was no doubt in my mind that he was the one I wanted to spend my life with, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to be someone’s fiancée when I had only just finished my first year of university. I went through all of it in my head before he could even open his mouth and ultimately decided that if marriage was what Julian was ready for, then I was too.
“Where we’re laying,” Julian continued, oblivious to my internal freakout, “will be a three-bedroom cottage by January. I was going to buy it and rent it out, but an offer just came in for the house I live in now, and I was going to ask if… maybe when it’s built… if you’d consider moving in with me?”
To my surprise, Julian actually looked nervous. He was staring determinedly at the sky and still babbling.
