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I laughed, and the sound came out a little louder, a little awkwarder than I would’ve liked it too. “Sure, go ahead. We can do a pregnancy test, but there’s no way it’ll be positive.”No way.“I’m pretty good about taking my birth control.”
“Pretty good isn’t perfect,” she said. “But still, I’m sure you’re right. We’ll want to do a test just in case. It’s our job, you know?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”
She handed me a cup, told me I could get dressed, and instructed me to go to the bathroom and do my business. My hands were shaking a little, which made the process that much messier, but I got the job done, washed up, and went back into the examination room. There, she asked me a few more questions and said I could expect to have the results from the test in a day or so, which felt like a lifetime or so. I walked out of the doctor’s office with a pit in my stomach the size of a baseball and ended up driving home instead of going back to work and spent the rest of that day in bed.
I’m not pregnant.
I told myself that about a hundred times, before eventually turning on the TV and zoning out until the lull of the never-ending sitcom-commercial cycle put me to sleep.
ChapterEighteen
DAVID
Something was going on with Lily.
I wished I hadn’t noticed it because I had been working hard the last few weeks to completely move on from her, but it was something I couldn’t ignore. It was so obvious something was wrong. I had two meetings that she was present for this week, and at both of them she seemed distracted and tired. She didn’t even realize when someone spoke directly to her, and at one point she got up and ran out of the meeting room in a hurry, heading straight for the bathroom. It was difficult, watching her struggle through whatever it was she was going through, and by the time Friday morning rolled around, I was thinking it was high time I go check in on her.
I was still angry, of course, but that didn’t mean I was heartless. It had been three weeks, maybe even four, since I’d overheard her phone conversation, and I was starting to feel a little childish keeping up this whole avoidance thing. Plus, I didn’t want her to suffer, and if she was sick or something, then she might need a friend. She hardly knew anyone else in the city, and she was the type of person who would clock in at work even if she was diagnosed with pneumonia or something.
So, that morning I got up from my desk and was about to walk over to her office when Matt showed up in the doorway and smiled at me.
“Hey there, where were you off to? Going to lunch early?”
“I need to talk to Lily.”
He put a hand on my chest and pushed me gently back into the room. “Oh, no you don’t. You are not bringing that girl back into your life. She is nothing but drama.”
“That’s not true,” I said. “And I’m not trying to bring her back into my life, at least not in the way you think I am. I just want to go make sure she’s okay. I feel like she’s been out of it this whole week. Haven’t you noticed that?”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I haven’t. Because I’m not obsessed with this woman.”
“Obsessed is a strong word.”
“But an accurate one.”
He stared at me, and I said nothing for a moment. “Seriously,” Matt said. “It’s time you get over her. I would say we should go out this weekend and try to find you a new girl to obsess over, but Will has a huge science fair on Monday, and he needs my help getting everything finished up this weekend. Maybe Adam will take you out.”
“I don’t need to be taken out,” I said. “I’m a grown man for God sakes, I can take myself out if that’s what I want to do. But it’s not. What Iactuallyneed is for my younger brothers to stop telling me what to do and acting like they know what’s best for me when they don’t.” I’m not sure where this tone of voice came from, but I could tell it surprised both me and Matt. I hardly ever raised my voice at my brother. At any of my brothers, for that matter.
“All right, damn,” Matt said, putting his hands up. “Do whatever you want, man. I’m just trying to help.”
I sighed and was about to apologize when I saw that my dad was walking down the hallway towards my office. He and I hadn’t spoken since I stormed out three weeks ago after basically calling him a horrible father in front of everyone.
“Dad’s here,” I said.
Matt looked over his shoulder and then smiled weakly. “That’s my cue to leave. Good luck.” He ran out the door and walked right past our dad, but didn’t stick around long enough to have a friendly chat with the man. A few seconds later, my dad was in my office, and the two of us were just standing there, watching and waiting. I was determined to keep the upper hand, so I said nothing.
Finally, he spoke first.
“It’s been a little bit,” he said. “I kept expecting you to call or come visit.” He walked further into the office and sat down in one of the chairs on the other side of my desk. I took a seat in my desk chair and waited for him to keep talking. “But I suppose you had your reasons for wanting to remain distant.”
“Dad,” I said. “If you’re about to give me a lecture or blow up on me or something, can I just ask that you save your breath? I’ve got a lot going on right now, and I’d rather not repeat the same fight we’ve had over and over again for the last five years, okay?”
“I’d prefer to avoid that as well,” he said. “And that’s why I’m not here to lecture you or blow up on you. I am just here to talk.” He leaned back and folded his hands across his stomach. “I have been thinking a lot, ever since we had our last fight. You said a lot of things to me that day, some of which were perhaps true, though others I think were outrageous. But it’s not what you said that got me thinking, it’s the fact that you said anything at all.”
I frowned but didn’t respond. He went on.
