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“I was...lost.” My voice shook, betraying my lie.
Darius’s eyes narrowed. “You’re not lost. Why are you really here?”
I couldn’t bear to tell him. Despite all that had happened between us, I still longed for his good opinion, one I felt slipping further away the longer the tension stretched between us.
“I have my reasons,” I managed. “What is the explanation foryourpresence?”
“I’m here for an investigation. Although I’m no longer part of the Council, I still occasionally assist my mother. The Council is searching for the Ebony Market, and believe this is one of the areas it may be located...” He trailed off as his eyes widened, and the way he looked at me... “No,” he breathed. “It’s not true.”
I’d suspected the exact nature of the exchange I’d just been a part of but hadn’t allowed myself to admit it until he’d said the words out loud. My heart sank. I should have known I wouldn’t be able to hide the truth from him. Once again, he’d been able to detect everything I desperately tried to keep hidden, so that all my faults and failings were open to him, just as they’d been since the very beginning.
At my refusal to answer, the horror filling his expression deepened, as if his worst fears had just been confirmed. “Eden?” he asked hesitantly. “Tell me it’s not true. You’re not really here to...” He swallowed the remainder of his words, seeming unable to force himself to speak them.
I lowered my eyes and didn’t answer, but my silence was unnecessary; the connection between us was too strong for me to hide the truth, despite being desperate to.
The deafening stillness between us stretched endlessly until I felt I was drowning in it. The longer Darius didn’t speak, the more I wondered what he could possibly be thinking. Though I feared what I’d see, I couldn’t resist peeking up at him again and flinched at the dark look filling his eyes, one he’d never given me before.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I whispered.
He didn’t answer for a long moment, and when he did his voice was as hard as his expression. “I didn’t realize how far you’d fallen.”
Shame seeped over me, sharp and burning. While it was a truth that had been haunting me unceasingly, it was one I’d never wantedhimto realize. Though I’d been the one to push him away, the last thing I wanted was to give him yet another reason to push me away in return.
His expression shifted—no longer dark, but pleading, as if he was desperate not to believe it. “Despite all the evidence confirming my worst fears, I didn’t want to believe any of it. But I can’t hide from the truth any longer. Tell me I’m mistaken, Eden.”
There was nothing I wanted more than to grant his wish, but I could scarcely speak. His frustration deepened, as did his desperation.
“Please, Eden. I need to hear that I’m wrong.”
I took a steadying breath, bracing myself for the words I didn’t want to speak. “I can’t tell you that, so it’s best I say nothing.”
Darius’s expression hardened once more. “So it’s as I feared: you’re here for the Ebony Market...which means one of its locations is nearby.”
He briefly tore his gaze away to take in the surrounding trees and columns before returning his attention to me. I was certain such a significant discovery would have excited him, but he remained shrouded with disappointment.
“As the daughter of its creator, it’s unsurprising you’d be involved...yet I still struggle to understand. The Eden I know believes in the balance, created dreams of beauty, and loved her home of light. The Eden before me now is not her. You’ve allowed yourself to be twisted into someone you’re not. I’d hoped that despite what’s happened to you,youwere still here.” His jaw tightened. “But it appears I was wrong. The Eden I knew...I’m not sure she even exists.”
I flinched and pressed my hand against my heart, desperate to stave off the pain he’d just inflicted. An emotion that looked almost like regret filled his eyes before it disappeared, and he didn’t retract his words.
“I tried to tell you, that Eden doesn’t exist.” The words were a struggle to speak, for with them, the last of my hope died along with his previous faith in me, faith I knew I’d never deserved.
He was silent a long moment before he finally turned away, as if could no longer bear to look at me. “Perhaps you’re right.” He slowly took in the abandoned area. “I can’t even imagine your motives for coming here. It can’t be because you need magic, for I’ve lost enough to know you now have it in ample supply.”
I cringed at the reminder of my many thefts against him, ones that had been continuing even after our recent confrontation. Despite my desperation to stop, I found I couldn’t. But it was no longer for the magic; something more compelled me to take from him. Seeing Darius again had opened up something inside me—a desire to be near him despite the distance I’d inflicted, to have small portions of him with me, even if they came at so high a cost. Yet despite how much I longed to be near him, doing so had made me afraid, making me wonder if I stole from him to keep him away like I felt I deserved.
“You could still ask for it, you know,” he said, his tone bitter.
My breath hooked in disbelief. “You’d still give me magic, evennow?”
He didn’t answer at first before releasing a heavy sigh. “I...don’t know anymore.” He looked to be battling two parts of himself, and I held my breath, waiting to see which side would win, hoping it’d be the one that could still maintain his faith in me, even now.
Why was I so desperate for it? It seemed strange to want his trust when I didn’t have any in him...or did I? In this moment, I realized that whatever doubts I’d previously harbored against him no longer existed. My accusations had gradually faded, their absence having chipped away at my anger bit by bit until none remained. Now I only clung to it as nothing more than a shield to protect myself, for it was easier to believe he’d betrayed me than that I’d ruined something so beautiful due to my own stubborn pride.
I ached to tell him this, to repair the damage I’d caused between us. But with the way Darius was looking at me...it was as if he’d lost something truly precious.Me. Whatever used to be between us had been with the old Eden, one Darius didn’t believe existed any longer, leaving him no reason to want me now.
My horrible suspicion was only confirmed when Darius spoke again. “Perhaps I was wrong to have faith in you.”
And without another word he left, leaving me even more broken than before. His absence left me defenseless, with nothing to protect myself from the darkness surrounding me, suffocating me in despair.
