AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“How are you feeling today?”I texted. He usually was awake at this time of day.
“Feeling good!”Which didn’t mean much, but we celebrated all those small victories.
“Love you! I’ll be in to visit soon.”I promised.
I set the phone down, knowing he probably wanted to talk more but I just couldn’t do it. My head and heart weren’t in the right space for a full conversation. If I started talking to him, he’d know something was wrong. That’s why I texted instead of called. He can’t hear the waver in my voice through a text message.
“Looking forward to it. Love you too.”
I stared at those words, feeling guilty. My dad meant the world to me. He’d helped hold me together more times than I could count. I almost changed my mind and called him so we could talk about all my life problems. Almost.
Telling him I had an intense night of sexual relations with the sexiest man alive was probably going to be too much information. Tell him that man was also a dragon might have him questioning my sanity. Pretending everything was okay would result in me spilling my guts. No, I had to wait. We’d catch up later.
I sighed, at a loss for what to do.
If Nadia and Sarah were home, then maybe I’d call them. Sarah was staying in the other realm, apparently. Nadia wasn’t planning on coming back just yet, so I’d have to wait to talk to her too. We hadn’t always been super close, but there was comfort in knowing they were around. Having them not be a phone call away left me with a strange void.
They were a part of Lucian’s world now. That magical place with the dragons. Sarah married one, and Nadia sure seemed attached to castle life despite not having a dragon of her own. And just like that, my mind was back on Lucian and the night we’d spent together.
Lucian wasmydragon. I had one to love and call my own.
Had, being the keyword there. Past tense. He might have felt drawn to me initially, but that clearly didn’t last either.
I rummaged through my refrigerator, knowing I should eat something, but not really wanting to. Partly because of the exhaustion and nausea constantly lurking under the surface, and partly because maybe if I was a little more mindful of what I ate, then I could be more attractive. Because I’d be, well,smaller.
Stupid train of thought, I know. But I kept going back to one fact—I wasn’t a size two. I wasn’t even a size six. I was a size sixteen. Full on curves and rolls. I’d always looked this way. Whatever cute, petite genetics my sisters had gotten from our parents completely bypassed me.
Most days, I accepted it. Embraced it, even. When I looked in the mirror, I saw beauty staring back at me. I’d had enough long-term boyfriends to know that I was loveable. But all those boyfriends had eventually moved onto a smaller version of me. Seeing them with their new girlfriends always brought on the doubt that I’d been lied to.
And that’s where my head went with Lucian. We’d had an amazing time together. I let myself give in to his charms because I’d instantly felt safeanddesirable. I didn’t just feel beautiful when I looked into his eyes. I felt out of this world gorgeous. Like he only had eyes for me, and no one could ever turn his head elsewhere. For once, someone saw my true worth.
That was the feeling I kept going back to when I thought of Lucian, and it was that thought that made me miss him more than I should. Our instant, magnetic attraction to one another that continued to try and cloud my logic. I’d gone in with no expectations for more and left thinking there would be. Even post-dragon grand reveal, I’d spent a few days hoping he’d knock on my front door.
Soulmate. I’m not sure how much of that I bought, anyway. It always felt like a line any time I’d heard it.
“You wouldn’t understand. She’s my soulmate. You aren’t.”That’s how it usually went.
But why did I let myself get so caught up in him? Why was I still letting myself get lost in those dark eyes? Why couldn’t I just let him go? Why did I feel like my heart was being ripped in half for a man I barely knew?
None of it made sense.
I groaned, settling down with the small amount of leftover pasta I’d discovered in the fridge. I didn’t put anything on it. Bland sounded soothing to my upset stomach. Once again, just thinking of Lucian had it in knots.
I’d taken two bites when there was a knock on my door.
I frowned towards the sound. Who would be coming to my house?
I peeked through the peephole and frowned, my eyes unsure they were seeing right. I swung the door open. Nadia was there.
With Lucian.
