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“We’re not. Some witches and warlocks use their magic for good, some for evil. Damon has always trended toward the darkness. Rarely, dark magic must be used to fight against dark magic. In this case, an eye for an eye is the only way to defeat such a thing. Some practitioners of magic will delve into the darkness to help restore the light—a secret police force, if you will, that does what it can to stop warlocks like Damon and his dark plans.”

I had a horrible thought. “Wait. How do I even know you’re still Thierry? I could have been too late, and that was your girlfriend on the phone waiting to be whisked off to…I don’t know. Somewhere romantic with her boyfriend’s shiny new body.”

“I believe I am centuries past anything one would consider shiny,” Thierry said, raising a brow.

“Trust me, you’re still extremely shiny, in all the right ways.” I would smile, but my bat lips didn’t seem capable of it.

“Noted,” he said. He studied me for a moment, and the slightest glimmer of amusement slid through his gaze. “A bat.”

I shrugged my bat shoulders. “I know. Be careful what you wish for, right?”

“Indeed.” His frown returned right on schedule. “I wouldn’t have thought Alicia capable of such a nefarious plan.”

“She makes a good first impression, I’ll give you that. But she’s Team Damon. And yet, she’s definitely a-okay with him highjacking your body. I guess you’ve left a bit of an impression on the ladies. Oh, speaking of the ladies, I met another of your past flings. A witch named Monique who kindly poofed me back here and then disappeared into the Assjacket wilderness.”

“Monique,” he repeated, nodding. “Yes, I remember her.”

“Of course you do,” I said tightly. “I mean, she seems to remember you very kindly. But don’t worry, I’m not falling into a well of jealousy here. I know it was a million years ago, and this is the here and now. Why would you look at other women when you have all of this ultimate hotness,” I used my claw to gesture toward my furry body, “waiting at home.”

Thierry was fighting a grin now. “You do keep my life very interesting, Sarah.”

“I’m seriously going to need a vacation after this one.”

“I think that can be arranged. But back to the subject at hand, you say that Monique is still in town?”

“I don’t know. She tossed me into a tree and took off. As far as I know, she’s swinging from the Eiffel tower again by now. I had to befriend those talking cats, who had to really debate between helping me and eating me. Remind me not to come back to Witchlandia again. Like, ever. Please.”

Thierry’s phone sounded again, and he fished it out. “It’s her again,” he said.

“Don’t answer it—”

But he’d already done just that, putting the call on speaker. “Alicia,” he said.

“Thierry, are you all through with your tour?”

“Yes. And I’m currently searching for my wife,” he said evenly. “Do you know where she is?”

“Sarah’s not with you?” she replied lightly. “We parted ways at least an hour ago. I’m sure she’s fine.”

Lying liar. I was going to set her pants on fire.

“I’m sure she is,” Thierry replied.

“Such a lovely woman,” Alicia said. “But she’s so unlike your first wife. I can’t even fathom how you and Sarah have made things work seemingly so well.”

“Agreed. Sarah is entirely different from Veronique.”

“I must say, I sensed something from her, Thierry. Something…well, your marriage is none of my business, of course. Still, I consider you a dear friend, and your happiness is important to me.”

“I welcome any information you may feel you have to offer, Alicia.”

“It’s just that…she didn’t seem happy with your relationship. Such a pity, really. But it’s understandable. She is so young, and you are so—”

“Old?” Thierry finished.

“Experienced,” she corrected. “And very wise.”

“Sarah is far wiser than you might think.” Thierry held my gaze as he spoke to the vampire. “But perhaps you’re right. I’ve sensed it too, this…dissatisfaction.”

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