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But finally, Elise found the passages she’d been dreading.
Jane Seymour and the others left the island over a month ago.
I so wish Jane was here. I feel like she’d know what to do.
I’m at a complete loss.
I’ve just discovered that I’m pregnant.
A baby. Can you imagine that? I cannot imagine returning to LA and telling my agent that I can’t work for the next two years because I have to raise a baby alone.
Yes, all I’ve ever wanted in the world is to be an actress, to ‘make it’ in the business.
But then again, were those youthful ideas? Was I just a silly LA girl?
I have this feeling that my love for Dean is much more powerful than any sort of celebrity status.
I have to tell him. I’m going to tell him.
He has three babies already at home. Three! And I know he’s a good father, that he loves them and plays with them.
I think I could find a way to love his children, as well.
If there’s anything I know for sure, it’s that I have a lot of love to give.
Elise snapped the journal closed and gazed out toward the water. Her heart drummed in her throat.
Had Elise told Dean the truth about her pregnancy?
She forced herself to keep reading. Every part of her felt heavy with dread.
When I arrived to tell Dean about the pregnancy, he immediately told me that he had something much more important to say.
I love him. I would do anything for him. And so, I let him speak first.
I’m so glad I did.
“We have to go back to Chicago for a while,” he said. “Alex has had health problems over the past months. I’ve tried to keep it from you, although you must have seen how somber I’ve become...”
Of course, I saw he was sad.
I assumed it was because of his tired marriage and the fact that he loved me so much but hadn’t left her yet.
What a selfish idiot I was.
“Alex has cancer,” Dean told me. “He’s just a little thing, so tiny and weak, and I’m terrified I’ll lose him. Mandy can barely stand it. We spend most nights crying when I don’t come running to you. I don’t want you to think I was using you, baby. Because it was never like that. I love you. But right now, I have to take care of my family. I have to make sure Alex lives. And I don’t see how you and I can continue this. Not now. And maybe not ever.”
I have never experienced a pain like this.
I lay out by the waters and watch the waves roll over themselves.
I ache with uncertainty and sadness.
I’ve already booked a flight back to Los Angeles.
There’s nothing here for me now.
I have a baby to raise. And she’ll be a California girl, just like me.
When Elise closed the diary, she fell back on the bed and cried.
That horrible man, Alex.
He’d nearly died.
And because of that, her parents had been torn apart.
**
To be continued...
