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His mouth left her nipple for a second. He gazed up at her, his face slack with desire.
“Jane,” he whispered, his voice thick and husky. “You are so beautiful. You taste like honey.”
She gloried in his words. Shewantedto be beautiful for him. He was the only man who could evoke such a strong feeling in her. She knew it, although she didn’t know how she did. She only knew that when the time came to say farewell to him—to forever sever what was between them—she would feel bereft.
Just enjoy it, whispered a small, seductive voice in her mind.Do not think of the future. Live for the moment.
She took a deep breath. “You are beautiful to me as well.”
His eyes darkened further at her words, looking as black as ink. In response, he eagerly sought her nipple again with his mouth, resuming his sweet ministrations. His hand kept caressing her sex through her gown, driving her to the point of madness. She was climbing inexorably towards something she couldn’t name, striving towards it, her hips bucking against his hand....
Suddenly, it crashed over her. Wave after wave of exquisite, intense sensation. She gasped, gripping him tightly, so astounded by it that her knees almost buckled. He seemed to sense it, holding her firmly. He wasn’t about to let her fall. Desperately she bit on her fist, trying to contain the animal scream that was threatening to tear forth. For a full minute, it washed over her before slowly subsiding.
Jane blinked, opening her eyes fully. He was withdrawing from her, straightening her bodice. Now, that it was over and she was back to her senses, she couldn’t look at him. She ducked her head, mortally embarrassed by how swept away she had been, that he had seen her in such a state of utter abandonment. Was she a wanton woman?
But he was having none of it. Firmly, he took her chin between his hands, forcing her to look him straight in the eye.
“Do not be ashamed of it,” he whispered fiercely. “It is the most natural thing in the world, and it was a thing of beauty to watch you in your moment of ultimate pleasure, Jane.”
She blinked back tears. “I do not even know your first name. You are just Lord Carlisle to me.”
“It is Percy,” he whispered, softly stroking her face. “I repeat, do not be ashamed. I think we both have been fighting what is between us for too long.” He paused, looking her straight in the eye. “I want you so badly. But I am willing to wait for you, Jane. Now do you believe that what I feel for you is real?”
Mutely, she nodded her head. It wasn’t the declaration of love that she had hoped for, in spite of herself. She knew that there would never be one. He desired her greatly, and that must be enough for her. It was the best he was going to give her.
But already, she was crashing back down to earth. The distant hum of the ball reached her ears again. Desperately, she looked around, her heart in her mouth. But no one was around. She breathed a sigh of relief. It looked like they hadn’t been discovered.
“I must go,” she whispered. “My sister will be wondering where I have vanished to.”
He looked disappointed but nodded. “Yes. I know.” He hesitated, looking a bit lost. “I cannot get you out of my head, Jane. I cannot.”
Almost tenderly, he brushed some loose bark off her gown. Jane smoothed her hair with a trembling hand. She didn’t speak to him again. She crept back to the path, her heart pounding hard and her mouth dry, walking quickly towards the house.
It was only when she was finally inside that she gave in to the shock of what had just occurred. She leant against a wall, shaking from head to toe, taking deep gulps of air. It was unbelievable. And somehow, she felt changed, as if she had transformed.
As if she were a caterpillar that had just broken out of the cocoon. Her wings were still sticky and weak, but they were fluttering desperately, eager to fly. How was she ever to crawl back into her shell after this?
Chapter 25
The next day Jane could not attend to anything. Listlessly she sat in the parlour trying to sketch. But her mind would not focus on her drawing at all. It kept returning, over and over, to that encounter in the gardens with the Earl. The truly astonishing thing that had happened to her under his hand.
She sighed, putting down her charcoal, and staring into space. What had happened to her was beyond description. The ecstasy of it. She had never even known that such intense delights of the flesh were possible. It was like another whole world had been revealed to her. Did all women experience this when they were intimate with men?
She blushed fiercely. How could she ever know? It wasn’t as if she could ask anyone. Even Marianne. Her sister had never once spoken of her intimate life with her husband to Jane. It just wasn’t something that ladies talked about.
The only thing that Jane knew about that side of Marianne’s relationship with Henry was that she clearly didn’t think of it as a chore, as some ladies did. Jane knew that her sister and her husband always slept in the same bed when they were together, never residing in their own chambers, which was unusual. A lot of ladies didn’t want their husbands in their beds and actively avoided it.
Jane glanced over at her sister, who was absorbed in a book. She fervently wished she could ask her advice on the subject. Had Marianne ever experienced such abandonment as Jane had last evening? Or was Jane some kind of freak to take such pleasure in being touched by a man?
Suddenly, her sister put down the book, staring straight at her. “Jane, I can see you are bursting to talk to me about something. What is it?”
Jane reddened. “Why would you think such a thing?”
Marianne sighed. “We are quite alone, sister. Now is the time to speak frankly if you wish to. Lucy will not be back for another hour at least, and Papa is buried in his study.”
Jane shook her head, picking up her charcoal again. But just as quickly, she put it down, taking a deep breath.
“You have a satisfactory relationship with Henry, do you not ?” she asked in as casual a voice as she could manage. “A good marriage?”
