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“So be it,” she said, fighting back the tears.
She got off the bed, straightening her gown. She needed to do her hair. Their time together was over, and now she must return to the real world. She didn’t know how she was going to do it at all.
***
Percy watched her leave in his carriage. He stood on the front veranda for a moment before returning to the house.
Restlessly he wandered through the big house like a ghost. It didn’t feel the same without her now. It was as if her spirit had inhabited it, filling it, and it was as lost and bereft as he was without her.
He wandered back into the kitchen, picking up the mugs and teapot, washing them out. He had never felt such a deep sense of companionship as when they had been sitting beside the stove together drinking tea. He thought of himself living in this house alone except for servants. The thought filled him with dread.
He sat down next to the wood stove, stoking the fire again. He wouldn’t be alone. He would find another suitable lady to become his wife, and she would be by his side here. It wouldn’t be Lucy Metcalfe or Beatrice Prescott—he was sure of that—but surely some other lady would pique his eye in time. And if he discovered no one else here, there was always Brighton. And London.
His hands balled into fists upon his lap. He had his heart set upon Jane, but it was no matter. She had made her choice, and he must respect it. She wished to remain a spinster for her own personal reasons, and he couldn’t force her to change her mind. He had given it his best shot, and he had failed. It was time to move on to another lady.
His eyes burnt with helpless tears. Except he didn’t want to move on to another lady. He wanted her and her alone. And it wasn’t just because she would make a fine countess and not give him trouble. It had been a long time since that was the only reason he wanted to marry her.
Freddie had been right all along, he thought, his heart tightening. He was falling in love with her. He had been fighting it from the beginning, but it was the truth. It was the only reason he had struggled and wrestled with pursuing her even while he had done it. He had known it when he had decided to leave Seaborne, thinking that he could somehow still escape it. But Freddie had known, calling him out for the coward he was.
He put his head into his hands. What was he going to do?
He could declare himself to her, tell her he loved her, that he couldn’t imagine being married to anyone but her. But it wouldn’t make a lick of difference. Jane was determined to remain a spinster, and he had no idea if she felt the same way about him.
Even if she did, it might not be enough to convince her to marry him. He had never met a woman as stubborn as she was. For some odd reason, she was totally committed to her course, and he didn’t think anything could cause her to veer from it.
Not even love.
She had told him the reason she wished to remain unmarried. But instinctively, he knew there was more to it than what she had told him. He thought of her stricken face when he had asked her what happened on her mother’s deathbed. She had refused to answer him.
His heart lurched. What had happened to make a young girl commit to such a path so fiercely? Until he knew what it was, he realised that he would have no hope of swaying her. But would Jane ever trust him enough to tell him?
Chapter 31
Percy sat at a far corner in the tearooms in Seaborne, sipping his tea reflectively. Freddie was due to arrive very soon, after he finished his daily visit to Miss Grey. Percy smiled wryly, thinking about his friend. There was no doubt that Freddie was falling in love with the lady.
Sighing, he put down his cup. Love was such a simple, straightforward thing for his friend. Freddie had no qualms about giving his heart away and saw it as nothing but a positive thing. His friend did not have any of Percy’s doubts about it. But then, his friend had clearly never had any negative experiences with romantic love, nor had he witnessed any. For Freddie, it was simply a joy.
Percy’s heart contorted. If only it were such a simple matter for him. But it wasn’t. It was a torturous process. And it was the same for Jane. They both had deeply held reasons for not wanting to fall in love. If anything, Jane was even more fiercely committed to her path than he was. She had the zeal of a nun about it.
He just didn’t know what he was going to do.
The shop bell tinkled. He turned, expecting Freddie. Instead, Miss Beatrice Prescott stood there. She gave him a dazzling smile.
“Lord Carlisle,” she said. “How wonderful to see you.”
“Miss Prescott,” he said, cursing inwardly at his bad luck to be alone in the shop with her.
She didn’t head to a table. She just stood there, gazing at him expectantly. Soon, it became clear to Percy that she was waiting for him to ask her to join him. And he couldn’t think of a reason not to do so without being rude.
“Would you care to sit down, Miss Prescott?” he asked, forcing a smile onto his face. “My friend Colonel Morland shall be joining me shortly, but we can always pull up another chair.”
She nodded, giving him another dazzling smile, sitting opposite him. He poured her a cup. She took it, but the smile suddenly vanished, replaced by a frown. She opened her mouth to say something, then seemed to change her mind, shaking her head slightly.
“Is there something the matter, Miss Prescott?” he asked. “You seem distracted.”
She sighed heavily. “I am debating whether to tell you or not,” she said in a hesitant voice. “It is really none of my business. But then, I know you to be a good man, and it pains me to see you misled.”
He frowned. “I see. I have no idea what you are talking about. Would you care to elaborate?”
