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I grin at her, ‘cause hell yes. “Do it, why the fuck not?”
“You going to let me talk you into adding some color into those luscious locks of yours?”
I bark out a laugh. “Not a chance. I just want to get my length back, maybe once it grows out we can talk about fun colors.”
She sticks out her tongue as we pull into the Starbucks drive-thru. “Spoil sport. But fineeeee, I guess.”
I cackle as she places our order before we head to the Mexican place. I feel gross still coming here, all things considered, but it’s the only Mexican place in the Cove, and I’m not about to let Raleigh and his bullshit stop me from enjoying life.
I head in and grab breakfast for us both before ducking back out to the car. “Let’s eat and drive. Gracie will kill me if we’re late.”
“I’m good with that.” I nod before taking a bite of the spicy egg deliciousness.
How could I ever not love food when it tastes like this?
“You’re feeling better?” she asks, side-eyeing me as I eat.
“I am.” I smile. “I hadn’t realized I wasn’t eating properly. Mav poked me and apparently becoming aware of it was what I needed.”
“Good. I didn’t want to say anything while you’ve been recovering and dealing with all the things, but I was only going to give you another week, tops.”
I laugh softly. “I love you too.”
“Of course you do, I’m fabulous.” She grins as she taps the steering wheel along to the music playing in the background. “How are you feeling about this party tonight?”
“Honestly?” I pause, taking a deep breath. “I’ve been trying not to think about it. Lincoln says his dad isn’t marrying him off so I have to take him at his word. Harrison, that is. There’s still so much up in the air about this Regency shit too, I have no idea what’s going on, but I’ve been so focused on trying to get my ducks in a row that I haven’t let myself focus on it too much. I know that’s probably not the smart thing to do, but I figure the Knights will seek me out when they’re ready. I want nothing to do with them, so I’m happy to avoid it all for forever and a day.”
“I get that,” she nods. “Just let me know if you need anything. I got your back, always.”
“I know you do, but if I can keep you off their radar, you better believe I’m going to.”
She shrugs as she pulls into the parking lot of the salon. “Don’t keep me free and clear if it means you drown. Ride or die, remember? We can drown together.”
* * *
I let out a deep breath as I stare at my reflection in the mirror. Gracie worked miracles with my hair, and I feel better from that alone. We did a whole round of beauty treatments, which made me feel better than I have in weeks, and the shopping trip after helped to remind me that my life isn’t just kidnapping, secret societies, and all of the other bullshit I’ve been dealing with.
I have the best friend I could ask for, four guys who practically worship me, Smithy who rocks my world… I have a lot to be thankful for.
Though my dad hasn’t been far from my mind most of the day. I can’t help but think what he’d say about how I’m handling everything. If he’d disapprove. If he’d be proud. What words of wisdom he’d give me to help get me through it all.
I didn’t know the part of him that was a Knight, so it’s not something I’ll ever have answers to, but I like to think he’d be proud of the woman I’m becoming. Of the way I’m handling shit… or at least trying to handle it.
That he’d tell me to keep my head held high as I walk into this viper pit tonight.
I’ve spent most of my day preparing for this stupid party, molding myself into the image of someone who isn’t afraid; someone who has survived and come out fighting. Except I don’t think I look like me right now.
Imposter syndrome is real.
My dark hair is slicked back, falling down my back in a deadly straight line. My eyes are done in an extreme smokey eye, my lips are pale, glossy. Giant drop earrings in each of my ears make my neck look longer, even wrapped in the gold snake chain that I picked out this afternoon to go with my dress. I even found black stilettos with gold snake clips to match.
It’ll all pair perfectly with the little black dress—with a sweetheart neckline and a dipped hem so my ass isn’t on show—that is currently hanging on the back of my closet door.
It’s going to look amazing; it just feels very… not me, all of a sudden. I feel like I’ve spent so much time recently dressing up and playing pretend and I’m tired of it already.
But tonight I’m just going to have to suck it up. There’s no way I’m leaving the others to deal with the Knights—plus most of the Cove’s who’s who—on their own. I might not like these things, but I’m not about to abandon my guys.
I grab my phone and shoot Indi a message.
