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"Shit," I say. "Little one? I tower over you."
"I triumph by two birth years. Get your sexy ass over here and eat this cupcake I paid for."
She holds it out, waiting for me to close in. I do, against my gut telling me no, and just before my mouth touches down on the frosting she shoves it into my mouth, some going in and some becoming debris, destroying the cupcake against my mouth and beard. She starts laughing aloud as she rubs it in. I say nothing at all. "You wanted cream, now you got it," she says, gripping her stomach from laughing at something that is funnier watching her than what she's even laughing at.
Before she can move away I grab the back of her neck and pull her lips against mine, her fighting it the entire way as she realizes what I'm doing. When her lips are pressed against mine, I rub my beard side to side on the lower half of her face, smearing the damn frosting and cupcake between the two of us. She pushes against me, but I hold her harder, not letting her go anywhere. Her laughing gets louder, and her breathing shortens.
I finally pull away from her face, but keep my hand around her. Her face is covered in cupcake, making me laugh in return. "I can't breathe. That was not the ending I planned for."
Her laughing dies back a little, but not much. Fuck, she's beautiful in every way. Whether fully made up, without makeup, or covered in fucking food, she's gorgeous. I pull her against me again, but this time bringing her in for a kiss. With every tongue swipe or lip suck I can taste the fucking cupcake, and it's the best goddamn dessert I've ever had.
Moments and moans later I pull away, resting my forehead against hers. "Has anyone ever told you you're beautiful when you laugh?"
"No," she says, breathless, and for a second a vulnerable look flashes in her eyes, giving me a sneak peek at something real that she hides. Her hard exterior was built for a reason, even if I never know what that reason is.
My thumb brushes along her bottom lip, and it's now that I realize maybe Joel was right, and maybe I'm completely fucking myself with her, but no matter how much I know I'm leaving in a few days I can't stop. I want her until I walk onto that plane. Then, I'll deal with the repercussions.
Chapter Fourteen
Bryant
Itake a sip of my beer, sitting on the couch next to Joel as the TV plays in the background, not paying it any attention. It's the fourth one since I've been here. Tynleigh and I went and picked up her dress for the wedding and then she had to go, alone. Apparently fuck buddies aren't allowed for girl dress up sessions, so here I am, sitting with Joel. Aside from his normal bullshit it's been fairly quiet. I just feel I have nothing to say.
Usually this is relaxing to me. Believe me, when I'm visiting Joel this is the rare occurrence, so when it happens I enjoy it. I'm usually so fucking over the parties and clubs by this point I welcome solitude with a beer and TV. But suddenly this is boring. It lacks the appeal of running around doing girl shit with the fine as fuck brunette I've gotten to know. "This one is different for you, isn't she?"
I glance at Joel, relaxed against the back of the couch, his arm resting on the arm with the rim of the bottle to his lips, chugging back his beer. "She's no different from any other girl, Joel. I just like her company."
"Bullshit. You forget I've known you all my life. Why don't you just admit it? It's not that hard. Why lie to yourself and everyone else?"
"Why do you think I'm lying? You pulled me here for fun, so you have it. We're just having fun."
He laughs as if I really think he's stupid. "First of all, last night you went all apeshit about sharing a girl when we've done it plenty of times before like you've claimed her already. Secondly, I have eyes. You aren't wrapping it up, Cuz. That's how I know she's different for you. In all of these years, I've never known you to go in without armor. Soldiers don't go into a war zone unprotected. That's the same fucking thing as what you're doing. And you just ran off into that shit exposed without a thought, like it wasn't even the first time. In the past you'd make a special trip to the store before you'd chance that shit, and you never bummed one off the girl you were about to lay pipe in either. You've always been smart, even when I got stupid with Karleigh, and she was mine. She was the only bitch in my bed. Fuck, B, you didn't even pull out, did you?"
"She's on birth control."
"Have you watched her pop the pill? I checked Karleigh's shit all the time and still pulled out ninety-five percent of the time. You just going to trust a bitch like that? This isn't like you. Where's your head at? We've talked about everything our entire lives, and now suddenly you're being distant as fuck. We've always said every bitch is crazy; it's just a matter of how bad. And besides that, what if she isn't clean? You haven't known her long enough for that kind of trust. Are you going to chance your dick for every other girl by having a few nights of a bare wet dick inside a warm pussy that has you blind?"
"Fuck you, Joel. She's not like that. She has a career, a life for herself, and I'm pretty damn sure she isn't the kind of girl to do something stupid during a fling. She keeps herself distant from men. I can tell. She's like a female version of you and me. It's a little weird to be honest, in comparison to most of the girls we've fucked over the years that start with the phone calls and texting shit right after. She hasn't messaged me one fucking time first since I met her, except for when I sent flowers to her work to get her attention when she tried to turn me down. And I'm a grown ass man. My dick is my business. I don't get up in your shit, knowing damn well you'll fuck any hot girl that'll spread her legs."
I take a deep breath, my neck straining from the anger I rarely expel. But he fucking offended me, and he knows better. "You don't think I'm capable of making responsible decisions for myself? Well, guess what? I'm the one that had to grow the fuck up while the rest of you get to play around still. You think businesses just get ran by themselves or bills get paid without income? I'm not just going to let my dad completely go under because of a fucked-up situation. And psych institutes aren't cheap. All I fucking do is responsible shit every damn day of my life. What do you do besides consume drugs instead of food and work enough to make a paycheck for bills and to pay for you to party? Guess who is helping out with the stores while I'm here, with you, throwing your health away for something you can't get back? Your dad! Because your ass is never there to step up when I need help. I come every time you need me, no questions asked, because that's what family does for each other. But I'm tired. Maybe for one goddamn second I want to live like you. Throwing everything away and distancing from everyone that cares about me so I can basically poison my body until it can't take anymore. She's gone, Joel. Shit happens sometimes. That's part of life. It sucks and it doesn't make it easier to deal. It's full of the unexpected. But we've always lived like when it's our time to go that's just how it is. That's how you got me through the times I was depressed without a mother; the outcast of everyone we knew in that sense. It was her time. I hate that she's gone because I know in your twisted fucking demented heart you loved her, even though we've always been shit at relationships. That's why we fucking avoid them. But what happened is not your fault. It's not some punishment from God. It was an irresponsible accident. Cut yourself some fucking slack. The rest of us don't want to lose you too. It's been two fucking years, Joel. No one is going to fault you for moving on."
I down the rest of my beer, agitated, and Joel has zoned out. He usually does where Karleigh is concerned. But I'm already fucking mad and not ready to stop. I keep my mouth shut too often around him, and the silence is obviously not working. "As for Tynleigh. She's Saxton's sister for fuck's sake, not some whore working the street corner or a drug slut looking to score. He was your best friend, and still would be if you'd get your head out of your ass and let shit go. You aren't the only one with problems. He's good people, and so is she."
I run my hand through my hair, messing it up even more. "And you're one to talk about her possibly having some shit to fuck your dick up, because if I remember correctly, you had your tongue all up in her shit, so back the fuck off."
He stands and leaves his empty beer bottle on the side table, throwing his hands up. "You know what? Keep taking your focus off what's really going on here. Last night wouldn't have fucking happened had you had the balls to say how you really felt. There was a point to it all. I see the way you look at her. And this between us, this bitterness right now, is because you won't just deal with your shit. Fuck her and nut in her all you want to, B. I'm just trying to watch out for you. All this aggression toward me and being up her ass—if I didn't know any better I'd say you were in love with the bitch. Just remember, when your plane lands in California and she's gone I'll still be here. Your family. I'm going out. I may not cope with my issues how you see fit, but at least I'm fucking coping with my feelings. That's more than I can say for you right now. If you care to join, you know my number."
"You can't love someone you just met, dipshit."
"If that's what will make it easier for you to leave, B, keep telling yourself that."
He walks out of the apartment, slamming the door. I set my empty bottle down and rub my hands over my face. "Fuck!"
I'm losing my shit. I start laughing aloud, feeling crazier by the minute. In love with the bitch? Not Bryant fucking Briggs. Not fucking ever. I don't do love. Love makes a man weak. I've seen it firsthand. It makes you fucking crazy. You end up raising a kid alone, in the fucking nut house, or so far gone your love turns to drugs and you can't find your way out. You don't want an out. None of those scenarios are for me. Never have been and never will be.
I was content with my life when I came here, and I'll be content when I go home. No, she's just fresh pussy that won't come looking when it's over. She's one that will abuse my body in the best fucking way and then let me go. I'll leave and never look back.
Fucking liar.
