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And then, when he's gone, I'll hold the memory of him in my heart forever and move on, going back to the girl with a career, the girl that loves the nightlife, and the girl that will forever remain unclaimed by another heart. Because that's the only way to guarantee another human being will never break your heart, will never leave you for someone else, and will never break a promise when he says he loves you and you give him your all.
My fingers run down the center of his torso, through the ripples of abs, my head on his chest, while both of us lie tangled naked. We've been in this bed since nightfall, experiencing each other for the last time. In the current moment the room is silent, dark, the two of us breathing and touching. "When do you have to leave?"
"I'll stay until you fall asleep," he says. "It'll be easier for us both that way."
"Okay. Do me a favor, will you?"
He continues rubbing up and down my arm. "Okay."
"Turn on the lamp and open the drawer of my nightstand. Take out that small box. It's for you. Don't freak out or give me crazy looks. It's nothing really. Just something to take home," I say. "No one ever goes on a trip without bringing something back."
He reaches over, doing as I asked, forcing me to push up on my forearm on the mattress to give him room to move. He pulls out the small, black, flat, square of a box wrapped in a royal blue bow and holds it out in front of him as he lays back in his original position, only slightly elevated this time, staring at it as if it could potentially house a bomb. When he looks at me, a broad smile on his face, he slays my heart with no effort. "You got me a gift? No one has gotten me a present since I was a kid, aside from graduation money, but that doesn't count."
"It's nothing. Just something I saw and thought of you. Don't make it bigger than it is." I rub at my eye. Fucking mascara.
I lie back down, head to his chest, arm over his waist, skin on skin, waiting for him to open it. He finally breaks the bow off the box, removing the top. Nestled inside is a men's brown leather band for the wrist, made to wrap three times before it snaps. He holds it, dropping the box on his stomach, looking at it. "Turn it over."
He does, reading the engraved script aloud.
"When the stress takes hold, touch me and remember. –Ty"
He looks at me in a stare that makes me a little uncomfortable. I don't like feeling exposed. I breathe through it. "Here, let me see it. I'll put it on you. If you hate it when you get home you can throw it away or toss it in a drawer. Not every guy likes stuff around his wrist, but some do, and I noticed you don't wear watches or anything."
He hands it to me and then holds out his left hand—the non-dominant one. I wrap it three times, until the snap of each end meets at the back of his wrist. I press them together until the male end snaps aloud into the female end, signaling its connection. I lay still, not saying anything, waiting for him to turn the light back off, but he doesn't. Instead, he rolls until he's hovering over me, his hair hanging off his forehead, calling for me to run my fingers through it. I don't. "What made you get me this? The words on the back. Where did they come from?"
I shrug my shoulders. "That day we were laying here and you told me about you running the store. Just sounded like you had a lot on you. Our mind is our strongest asset. This week has been a needed break from a hectic life for me, and I doubt I have it as bad as you. Mostly just fast paced and a needy bitch of a boss for me. I just wanted you to know that when you start to stress you can remember this week and maybe for a while things will seem better. Like I said, no big deal."
He presses his forehead to my chest, between my breasts, and just when I think he's going to want it again, he lays back down beside me and pulls me into the nook of his body as he molds it around me; his hard meeting my soft, and then he reaches over and turns off the light. "I'm going to miss you, Ty."
I lace my fingers over his at my belly, the inside of my wrist lying on top of the bands I just put on his. "I'm going to miss you too, Bryant. Look me up next time you visit, okay? I'd like to still be friends."
"There is no New York without you, Tynleigh. Get some sleep. It's getting late. I'll lock up when I leave."
The room goes silent once again, the two of us basking in the quiet. Sadness cloaks the room just as my eyes grow heavy. When I wake up, he'll be long gone. His touch on my body will become a memory and his kiss will only live in my dreams. Yeah, I'm going to miss that bearded asshole that likes giving me public orgasms and challenging me at every turn. I've never met another like him, and I likely never will.
He's the perfect match for the person I'll never allow myself to be.
Chapter Nineteen
Bryant
Istand at the terminal, three cigarettes down since leaving her apartment, waiting to board my plane, my eyes downcast on the leather bands wrapped around my wrist. I feel like shit: sneaking out, dressing, and leaving like I would a fucking one-nighter. Only she doesn't feel like a girl I met in a bar for the sole purpose of wetting my dick. She feels like . . . more.
"You going to be alright going back without her?"
I glance at Joel, standing with his hands in his pockets, my suitcase between us. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"
He shakes his head, smearing his palms down his face. "B, when are you going to stop lying to yourself about her? Lying to me? We've always been honest with each other. I've barely seen you this entire trip because you've been with her. Don't get me wrong; I'm glad to have seen you have a little fun for once that didn't consist of schedules around those stores and your dad. I've stayed out of the way so you didn't classify yourself as a babysitter this visit—I know secretly that you do. I’m aware that I'm fucked up in the head over what happened with Karleigh, and I don't know that things will ever change, but I can see something that's right in my face. Why don't you just admit to yourself that she's more to you than a weeklong fling? Are you scared you'll look like a pussy if you let yourself feel something for a girl other than a full throbbing dick? That pact we made—you were the one that took that shit to heart and never broke it. We were just kids, Bryant. There's always one girl that gets the best of us, Cuz. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It doesn't make you weak or any less of a man to experience an emotional connection with someone."
I stare at him, feeling slightly dead inside, the dread filling that I have to return to everything I left behind. "Because I can't afford to admit she's more. This is the only way things can be."
He slaps me on the back, before squeezing my shoulder. "I wish you'd let yourself have something for you, Bryant."
The announcement begins that my flight is boarding. I grab the handle of my carryon suitcase, ready to roll it on the plane. "Take care of yourself, Joel. Call me if things get out of hand."
He laughs. "Now that you have a better reason to come and all?"
My serious demeanor remains. "No, because you're the only brother I've ever had, and I don't want to lose you."
