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“I’m still upset that you didn’t talk to us about it first. This is a huge change, and we’re supposed to make decisions like this together.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry. I didn’t exactly plan it. I woke up this morning and just knew what I had to do. I turned in my resignation to the department head before I met you at the rally.”
“And yet you didn’t say anything until you told the entire crowd?!?”
That was probably a bad move on my part.
“The opportunity arose, and I took it. I’m really sorry, Mari.”
“I’ve decided I’m going to drop out of the PhD program.”
Mari gasps. “Mark, no! You can’t do that.”
“I want to.”
“But you’re almost done with your dissertation!”
“And I might still finish it and publish it on my own. I don’t need the validation of a corrupt school to know that I am smart.”
“You could finish your dissertation elsewhere, though, couldn’t you? Don’t give up on your doctorate just because of this school’s bad behavior.”
Mark squeezes Mari’s shoulder. “I don’t think it’s what I want anymore. I told you before that I’m not sure academia is for me. I feel run down from all of the schoolwork, and I don’t want to be a professor anymore, so what’s the point of me finishing the program?”
“You were on the fence before. What changed your mind?”
“A bunch of things. Mostly, I really love gambling, and I’m good at it. I make plenty of money online, so it’s not like I need another job. I’d rather become a full-time gambler than finish my program.”
“And that’s going to be enough for you? You won’t regret this decision?”
Mark shrugs. “I don’t know. If I do, I can always go back to school. All I know is, right now, I’m too disgusted by the administration’s actions to go back to NYU. They have treated us and many others unfairly. I don’t want to be a part of that anymore. So like John said, this is the perfect excuse to make a big life change.”
Tears pool in Mari’s eyes again. Why isn’t she happy for us? I think Mark and I are making the best decisions for ourselves. We’re miserable at NYU, and it’s only going to be worse after this rally. I’m pretty sure we would have been fired regardless. Taking this step ensures we get to leave on our terms, not the school’s.
I feel lighter now that I’ve officially separated from the university. They can no longer control me. Even though my position was tenured, so I had some leeway in the courses I taught, I’d always felt like the university’s puppet. They even tried to limit what I could write. My poetry has suffered since I started at the university.
Now, I’ll be able to write and do whatever I want. It’s a fantastic feeling.
“Mari, everything is going to be okay. Mark and I know what we’re doing.”
“But what about me?” she cries. “Did either of you consider me for even one second?”
“Whoa, calm down, Mari. What are you talking about?”
“I’m pregnant with your child, remember? You don’t get to go around quitting your jobs like this! We have a family to think about. I thought we discussed this already. I don’t feel as confident in gambling and writing as the two of you do. What if it’s not enough? Our baby isn’t going to suffer because of your rash decisions!”
Mark and I share a knowing look. We were up late last night – long after Mari went to bed – to discuss this very concern.
“We would never make any decision without considering you and the baby first, Mari. You have to know that.”
“Do I? Because it sure seems like you put yourselves first here. How are we going to survive if something goes wrong?”
“We’ll figure it out, just like we have so far. Mark and I have plenty of money. We can live off what we already have for the next five years without any of us working, if that’s what we want to do. But Mark and I will continue to make money so that we’ll never be in a dangerous financial situation.”
“Five years? New York is expensive, and so is raising a baby. We couldn’t last five years on your savings. Not here.”
I smile gently. “That’s why we don’t want to stay here.”
Mari gapes at me. “What are you talking about?”
“John and I have been talking, and we want to ask you something.”
Mark looks at me. I’ve always been the breaker of big news in this relationship. I’m okay with that role.
“Mari, would you be willing to drop out of NYU and move to Alaska with us?”
My question is met with silence as Mari lets my proposal sink in. I wish I could see what’s running through her mind right now. Is she going to say no and leave us? Is she going to say yes? I have no idea. Nothing has gone as planned today.
