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Keegain waited, but Sir John did not reply.What excuse could he give?
“What have you got to say for yourself, you scoundrel?”
“I am terribly sorry, my lord. I know I owe you an apology, you and Lady Charlotte. Please know that I never meant to hurt her. I would rather cut off my own hand than cause her pain, but I did not realize that until it was far too late. If you have come here seeking satisfaction in the matter, I assure you, I will not resist. You can meet me at dawn. I deserve it.” Sir John scrubbed his hands over his face and simply sank down to the nearest chair. “I only ask that as a gentleman, you would continue to care for my mother. She will not ask for much, only the rent on her cottage and the service of her companion.”
“This is hardly the response I expected,” Lord Keegain said, put off by his foe’s downtrodden reaction.
“Is Lady Charlotte well?” Sir John asked, earnestly. “I know I have hurt her terribly, but she will recover?”
“She has been crying her eyes out, if you must know. I have barely been able to get a comprehensible story out of her without my wife insisting that she lie down before she makes herself ill with weeping. I can be of no use to the ladies at home, so I came here with every intention of giving you a well-deserved thrashing. Now I am not so sure that you are in any better shape than my sister. You look a mess. Have you even changed your shirt within the last twenty-four hours?”
“No,” Sir John admitted. He had not washed or changed his clothes since he left Charlotte two days prior. “I must say, Keegain, a thrashing is the very least that I deserve. You are quite right. I have acted in a most despicable manner.”
“Indeed,” Keegain agreed. The earl seemed nonplused by Sir John’s attitude. It was clear that Keegain wanted to take his revenge on Sir John for hurting his sister, but he was too honorable to kick a man when he was already down.
“Perhaps it will please you to know that I suffer as much as she. Additionally, I must live with the knowledge that my broken heart is my own doing.”
“Suppose you tell me exactly what happened, and I shall reserve my judgment on the rest?” Lord Keegain suggested, helping himself to Sir John’s liquor cabinet and sensibly pouring two glasses of brandy before seating himself in one of the parlor chairs. “All I have been able to get out of Charlotte was that you do not love her at all; that you were only interested in marrying her for her wealth, and something vague about a wager.”
“I did enter into a wager with some of my friends,” he admitted.
“Of what sort?”
Sir John hung his head. There was no good way to break this news, which was precisely the reason why he had not told Lady Charlotte, but Keegain was asking directly and did not look like he would take silence as an answer.
“I wagered that I could make Lady Charlotte fall in love with me.”
“You bet upon my sister’s heart?” The earl’s face was stony
“I did try to back out of the wager. I wanted to tell you. In fact, I wanted to tell Lady Charlotte, but I was afraid she would not understand.”
“Indeed.” Lord Keegain’s voice was hard
John wondered if he wanted to shoot him there and then without the benefit of ten paces and a second.
“I could not facethe idea of losing her.” John admitted. ”When my friends would not let me out of the wager, I told myself that it would be best to keep it a secret. Eventually, the lie would fall away.”
“And you would have been satisfied with that; forever living a lie?” Lord Keegain asked. He attempted to keep his voice mild, but John could detect the fresh wave of outrage that the earl felt upon hearing his admission. Sir John understood. His suffering was apparent, but Lady Charlotte was the earl’s main concern. It was to Charlotte that Keegain’s loyalties were committed.
Sir John looked shamefacedly into his brandy. He wrapped his hands around the glass. “I asked myself that, many times, but I came to the conclusion that I could live with most anything at all if it meant keeping Lady Charlotte. I love her, Keegain, no matter how doubtful that now seems. I intended to devote myself to her happiness. I swore it on my father’s memory. I hoped that would be enough to account for how we began. I realize now, that was selfish too.”
Lord Keegain looked at John for a long moment. “Ashbrooke, you are an idiot,” he said bluntly.
“I know,” Sir John replied hanging his head.
“But many men are idiots in the throes of love.” Keegain continued.
Sir John looked up, hopeful. Perhaps in some respects, Lord Keegain could understand his stupidity.Love defied logic.
“That does not mean I forgive you for hurting my sister.” Keegain shook a finger under John’s nose, but there was no gun in his hand and the man no longer looked as if he was willing to shoot him posthaste. Sir John took this as a positive sign. “If you do not mind my asking,” Keegain said. “Well actually, even if you do, I believe you owe me a frank conversation at the very least. What on earth possessed you to make such a wager? I can understand your need to marry an heiress, considering the state of your finances. Although I personally find such arrangements to be distasteful. But a wager?” Lord Keegain shook his head. “Why?”
“I brought it upon myself, I suppose, although it was certainly not my idea,” Sir John answered, sipping brandy only because the glass was in his hand. The liquid sat hard in his empty stomach. “We, my friends and I, were speaking of ladies penchants for romance. I made the mistake of boasting to my friends that winning a bride would be a simple task; that making a lady fall in love requires nothing more than the utilization of the childlike belief in romantic fairy-tales, which all women cherish. I did not believe that true love existed, you see. I thought women were all fools for believing in it; for willingly embracing a notion that only existed to make the business arrangement of matrimony more pleasant to the feminine palate.” He paused shaking his head. “I was wrong. It is a terrible sort of knowledge: to now know what love is, and be forced to live without.”
Lord Keegain stared at him for a long moment and then, surprisingly began to laugh. “What a terrible notion.” He chortled quite merrily and Sir John found it hard not to take offense. The man was making light of his pain.
“I am sorry,” Keegain said at last, understanding Sir John’s angry expression. “I confess that I would have been tempted just as your friends were, to make you prove such an outlandish claim, but how did Charlotte come to be the object of this dastardly scheme?” Keegain still had a smile on his lips which made Sir John distinctly uncomfortable.
“We had this conversation at the Almack’s Ball, where Lady Charlotte and I first met. I was in poor spirits. I had just come to the conclusion that I could not put off marriage any longer, and I did not, at that time, embrace the idea of matrimony in general.”
