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“No!” Marilee protested. She turned toward him and placed her hand upon his arm, pleading that he would understand, that he would not be hurt by her silence. “I do trust you. I do. It is only that my c-cousin could be harmed if even the smallest bit of information falls into the wrong hands.” She reached up and placed her gloved hand on his cheek, turning his face to look at the truth in her eyes. “I do trust you. You have been a kindness in a cruel world… for both Peggy and I.” She had added the last in an effort to dispel the strange connection that seemed to be building between herself and Nikolas. He had been a blessing to them both, and it was best to keep their interactions firmly rooted as a trio, lest she begin to think of him as her Nikolas, her hope.
“I would never betray your secrets,” he murmured, pressing his cheek against her glove. She could feel the heat of him through the wool and could not resist the urge to stroke her thumb across his evening growth of beard.
“I know that,” she murmured. “But I hope you might understand that I still cannot take the risk, for both our sakes.” She mentioned how someone might overhear, but those excuses sounded weak to her ears. She did want to tell him. She wanted to tell him all of it, every last detail. But she could not. It was not only her life in the line of fire.
Nikolas closed his eyes, pressed her hand once more against his cheek with his own before pulling free, and took a deep breath as if steadying himself. “I know your name is not Kate,” he whispered. “I’ve never slipped up and I haven’t told a soul.”
Marilee vaulted to her feet. It could not be helped; the admission had shocked her so.
“Of course, it’s Kate,” she hissed.
“I am almost positive that it is not,” he replied with pursed lips. She had dug with full force into her lie and he knew it. “I sent a letter to my brother that first night, asking what he knew of you.”
“You did what?” Marilee groaned and sank back down onto the bench with her head in her hands. “If her lie was found out…”
“He couldn’t think of anyone by that name who met your description, and he is very good with names,” Nikolas continued. His voice was calm as he attempted to soothe her concern but he spoke fast so that she might not panic before he finished. “I had to do it. I had no idea what was going on, and you mentioned the threat of death. So, I knew you were in trouble. I thought that if he could identify you, I might be of assistance, or he might be able to contact your family.”
“I have no family,” she snapped but her voice cracked and gave away her pain at the admission. No one was looking for her. She had tried not to dwell on it during this entire ordeal but that was the truth. No one was looking for her save one lady who wasn’t any better off than Marilee.
“Nothing came of it and I was discreet,” he said, brushing her curls away from her face so that she could look at him. “He knows not to ask around or bring attention to my questions. That is what I am telling you, I’ve known for some time and I can keep a secret. I know you aren’t who you say you are, I just don’t know why.”
A tear slid down her cheek. She knew she could trust him. She wanted to trust him. It was clear he already knew more about her than anyone in the house, even Peggy. Nevertheless, she still could not take the leap. She knew that by holding herself back she was hurting him, insulting his decency. Yet, if she told him about the murder then his life too would be at risk. Every person who was privy to that knowledge was living with a knife to their throat and she would not ask that of him.
Furthermore, Mr. Crowley was a good man, but he was naïve to the ways of the world. In his position, he would think he could solve the matter himself and that could only end in his downfall or death. She could not bear that weight upon her conscience as well.
“I can’t,” she sobbed and covered her tears with her mittens. “I can’t. Please don’t press me further. It must remain a secret.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “We all have secrets.”
His arms wrapped around her bent frame and pulled her close. Marilee sobbed against him. She cried all the tears that she had been unable to shed these past weeks. She lay all of her hurt and her sadness at his feet without any explanation, and he simply, wonderfully, held her. Nothing more. Nothing less.
When her tears ran dry and her breathing had calmed, when he assured her that her face was no longer covered in red splotches, they went inside. Marilee knew that there was some sort of truce that had been established between them this night. He would not ask her again but one day, when this was all over, he would expect her to tell him everything. For now, that would have to do.
PARTIII
CHAPTER12
With the news of the potential discovery of another household, one which might be the very same in which Miss Caroline had been placed, as well the hopeful encouragement that Nikolas had provided the evening prior, Marilee felt emboldened. She dressed Lady Lydia the following morning for a musicale that would keep the Lady from the house for most of the evening. She was certain that she could set about her task undisturbed.
As Marilee pinned the last of the silk ribbons into Lady Lydia’s hair, she looked down upon the dressing table and was pleased to see that she had made quite a mess of things. Pins and powder covered the surface and the tiny florets were scattered about the room as she had chased her mistress about determined to get the lookjust rightrather than having been placed neatly in their box as Marilee would have oft ensured. The Lady seemed not to have noticed as she grabbed her reticule and made for the door. Little more than an offhanded comment to the lady that she would remain behind to clean up the disarray was all the excuse that was needed to hole herself up in the chamber for the next half hour.
Marilee peeked from behind the curtain until the carriage pulled away before she began to rummage through every nook and cranny where the lady might have hidden a secret. It did not take her long to locate the locked box that had been shoved far beneath the bed and well out of sight. Marilee chewed her lip in thought, casting a furtive glance at the door and haphazardly picking up her mess as she thought on the issue. She could not very well pick the lock. That was not a skill that she possessed, and if she broke the lock or left a pin within, then she would be given up for certain.
As she was placing the handful of discarded pieces of jewelry back into Lady Lydia’s velvet lined accessory cabinet, her eyes fell upon a small key that was tucked behind several weighty necklaces. It hung on a simple blue ribbon and looked to be of the same burnished metal as the lock on the small chest. She slipped the ribbon from its hook and palmed the key. The room was clean and she no longer had any excuse to be here. If she were caught breaking into Lady Lydia’s secured items… she dared not consider the consequences.
She carried the box to the far side of the room and sank down to the floor beside the nightstand that stood between the wall and the bed, well out of sight of the door.
She then fit the key into the lock. Her heart beat in her chest and she felt at once as if she could not breathe. She had never done something so daring or unscrupulous. With a slow release of a breath, she crossed herself for good luck and turned the key until the lock clicked open. Slowly, she opened the box.
The objects within seemed in disarray, as if the Lady often tore through the contents without care. Good, Marilee thought, there would be less chance of her own digging being noticed amidst the chaos than, say, the neat simplicity with which Miss Caroline kept her things. Miss Caroline would certainly notice if someone had gone through her personal effects.
The first few folded letters were lewd love notes from the vile Lord Edward. Marilee scanned them as quickly as possible for pertinent information, but found herself tossing them aside when she could read no more without a deep blush at the thought that any gentleman would stoop to describe such things. She may be naïve to the ways of a man and a woman, but she knew better than to intrude on such personal contents.
Further down were letters of collection that Lady Lydia had yet to pay off. The debts were insurmountable and, she suspected, far greater than even Mr. Crowley had been aware. She pulled the parchment and pencil that Nick had slipped her days prior for just such a discovery. She jotted down the amounts and the account holders. He would likely recognize the names though they meant nothing to her.
Next, came a single paper where Lady Lydia had practiced her desired signature hundreds of times in varying styles. The paper was covered both front and back withDuchess of Manchester, Lady Lydia Bennington.Marilee felt it was no far cry to presume that it was as Mrs. Edward Bennington that the signature was hoped to be penned.
A leather envelope lay at the bottom of the box. Within, Marilee found several thousand pounds worth of bank notes made out in grand sums, more than she could have hoped to have held in a lifetime. If she were a more devious person, she could pocket one and live a wealthy life for the rest of her days. Instead, she looked at the notes with disgust.
