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“Have fun. See you when you get back?”
“It’ll be really late. I’ll probably go to my place.”
Lauren used the dim morning light to hide her frown. “I’ll miss you.”
He leaned down and gave her a soft kiss. “I’ll miss you, too. Now go back to sleep.”
After he left, Lauren catnapped for a bit before she crawled out from under the sheets. The shower’s hot spray made her skin tingle. Pouring a mound of pomegranate body wash on her loofah, she scrubbed every inch of her skin. As she toweled off after, she listened to the quiet, and an ache of loneliness settled over her. Danny hadn’t moved in with her—not officially—but he was there enough that she missed his presence when he was gone.
She hoped he had a good weekend with his sons, but a sense of foreboding blanketed Lauren when she thought about Danny and Heather together for the weekend.Heather’s still his wife,she thought.Does he still love her?That train of thought continued, picking up steam as she got dressed. She considered breakfast but decided she wasn’t hungry, then headed for the studio.
More than a hundred miles away, Heather watched as Danny pulled into the cottage’s driveway. He hadn’t even shut the door to the Jeep when his sons ran out to meet him—even Lucas, who was already starting to show all the signs of becoming a full-blown teenager, attitude and all. He wrapped all three in a huge bear hug.
From the porch, a smile flitted across Heather’s face. For all the problems they had, Danny had always been a great father. She never doubted how much he loved those boys. The three escorted their father up the driveway, telling him all the things they were going to do this weekend: go to the beach, play baseball, have a fire in the backyard, and much more.
Heather had asked her parents to be cordial for the sake of the boys. They offered Danny a cool but polite hello. She allowed Danny to give her a kiss on the cheek, which was more than she thought she’d be willing to do. Maybe the weekend wasn’t going to be one constant battle.
Augie knew it was going to be a long day when the first thing out of Lauren’s mouth at the studio was, “Don’t start with me.” That set the tone for the day. Depression and angst radiated off her and seeped into the corners of the room where they coiled up and waited, lashing out at inopportune times. There were high points, when the band did make some progress, but all in all, none of them considered the day a real success.
As the day wore on, tempers thinned. “Why don’t you write a song about PMS,” Ox said. “That should come naturally enough.”
Augie shut his eyes and sighed. Ox was always blunt, sometimes to the point of thoughtlessness. Normally, Lauren was totally willing to get right back in Ox’s face and call him out, but today she just looked unhappy. She sat for another second and then stalked out of the room without a word.
DJ smacked Ox in the back of the head. “You’re as much of a jackass as Jackass,” he said, using his personal pet name for Danny. “Just once, try keeping your mouth shut.”
Augie listened to them bitch at each other until Ox saidjódete—fuck you—to DJ, ending their quarrel and putting the final nail in the coffin for their studio work. Augie wasn’t sure what to think. The band had gone through rough spots before, but nothing like this. Everyone was on edge, everything spinning out of control. And Lauren was right in the center of the storm. The only other time he’d ever had this feeling, Lauren ended up in rehab.
He went looking for his cousin and found her on the second floor, in one of the small offices. She was curled up on the extra-wide windowsill, looking down at the street.
“Lauren? You okay?”
She shrugged but didn’t look at him.
“Want to talk about it?”
“I’m making myself crazy.” She sounded stuffy—she’d been crying. “Danny’s visiting his sons, but that means he’s also spending the weekend with Heather.” Lauren looked at the floor, and Augie couldn’t tell if she was regretful or if she just didn’t want him to see her cry. One tear escaped anyway.
“What are you doing, Lauren?” Augie’s question was soft and completely rhetorical. He knew Danny’s wife had walked out. He knew that Lauren and Danny were fully into their affair or whatever it was that was going on between them. He knew his cousin, who he loved like a sister, was up a creek. And he knew there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.
Lauren leaned her head back until it thumped against the edge of the window trim. She shut her eyes. “I don’t know, Augie. I’m an idiot? I make rash decisions? No news flash there… but I feelsomuch. Whenever I’m with him everything is brighter, crisper, newer. He’s the only one who’s ever loved me forwhoI am. And I love him, Augie. I’ve never stopped loving him…”
“Does he love you?” It was a risky question.
“Yes.”
Augie didn’t believe it. Not after Danny had been so callous before. For a second, he wondered if he should give Danny the benefit of the doubt, consider maybe he’d changed or regretted how things ended with Lauren. Augie decided he wasn’t feeling that generous.
Her shoulders bent and when she looked up at him, Lauren’s eyes were resigned and sad.
“But?”
“I can pretend while he’s here,” she said, “but I know I’m going to lose. This will end, and it will be a complete fucking car wreck. He’s not going to divorce his wife or leave his boys to be with me.” She bit her lip.
“Did you ask him to?” Augie leaned a shoulder against the wall. He didn’t really want to have this conversation, but he’d already put it off too long.
“Ask him to…? What? To leave his family? For Chrissakes, Augie,no. I would never ask him to do that…” Her voice hardened, but Augie didn’t let that deter him.
“Well, you’re sleeping with him, aren’t you? You’re creating a relationship with him again. You might not have asked the question, but you’ve put him in that position.” He knew she’d get pissed, but he couldn’t give his cousin a complete free pass on this.
