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Her expression turned furious. “Screw you, Augie.Screw. You.Whatever he decides with Heather, he needs to decide on his own.”
Augie stood his ground. “And you’ve got nothing to do with it? Nothing at all? She’s hiswife, Lauren, and you’re sleeping with him. Doesn’t matter if you ask the question. Eventually, he’ll have to choose between the two of you.”
“Exactly,” Lauren said. “And he’s not going to choose me. So, one way or another, I’m going to get burned.” Lauren glanced out the window, and when she turned back, her cheeks were streaked with more tears.
Augie’s voice softened. “And that’s why I’m so worried about you, Lauren. The longer this goes, the worse it will be for you. Why are you doing this?”
Her bluster and ire vanished. “Why? What else have I ever known, Aug? Love is for fools, and I’m the biggest one out there.”
Lauren got up, brushed by Augie, and disappeared out the door.
If she’d been home, back in California, Lauren would have driven to Red Rock Canyon or Lake Arrowhead to get some space and perspective. For a minute, she considered booking a flight back to Los Angeles but talked herself out of that. Instead, she went to The Pool in Central Park and sat near the bridge, watching the water cascade down and into the Loch.
Lauren thought a lot about what Augie had said about whether she should stop things with Danny before they went any further. She should. She knew it. She’d known it from the first night they slept together. And she knew exactly where the relationship was headed if they kept going. It was going to be an unmitigated disaster. An absolute dumpster fire.
But she couldn’t bring herself to stop. The tantalizing, infinitesimal chance that things wouldn’t go catastrophically wrong was too tempting to turn away.
The whole weekend was torture: wondering what Danny was doing and thinking. She hoped he was having fun with his sons, but what was happening with Heather? Were they fighting? Ending their marriage? Reconciling?
The chime on her phone sent a bolt of anxiety through her, but it was Carolyn’s smiling picture on the screen. Lauren let it go to voice mail. Carolyn knew what was happening with Danny, but they hadn’t talked about it. Lauren guessed pretty much everyone in both families knew. Something like this wasn’t going to slip by unnoticed, and Deb wasn’t going to waste the opportunity to paint her as a home-wrecking interloper.
But I’m not,Lauren told herself.It isn’t like I walked into a fairy-tale happy marriage and set a bomb off.That knowledge assuaged some of her remorse—but not all of it. Alone in her apartment, Lauren sank deeper into her own personal darkness.
She knew she had to end things with Danny.
But knowing and doing were two very, very different things.
ChapterThirty
On Saturday, Danny spent the day at the beach with Heather and his in-laws, but most importantly, with his boys. They left the cottage just after sunrise and, for a short time, practically had the beach all to themselves. The day was filled with swimming, building sandcastles, and beach football. He reveled in the games and hearing them all shouting, “Dad! Dad!”
When he wasn’t playing with his sons, Danny talked a little with Heather, trying to gauge how she was feeling. She didn’t make any digs about Lauren, even when an old Kingmakers song came on the radio, and Danny was grateful for that. He wouldn’t have known what to say anyway. As the sun started to set, they went to a local clam shack for dinner. Back at the cottage, Danny was nearly asleep on his feet at nine, but he forced himself to stay awake. If he went to bed, it would turn into Sunday, and he would have to go back to New York.
Sunday morning opened with a magnificent waffle breakfast. The entire cottage smelled like crispy bacon and maple syrup. After, Heather’s parents took the boys with them to pick up the things they’d need to make s’mores that night. Her father, in an unsuccessful attempt to be subtle, mentioned that he had to pick up an antique doorknob from a dealer a few towns away and that they’d all be gone for at least two hours.
Danny waved to the boys as his in-laws’ Volvo rolled down the dirt and gravel driveway. Wood creaked as he sat down on the cottage steps. He drained the last of his coffee and set the mug down next to a white and red polka-dot flowerpot. Heather stood nearby, half turned away from him, her arms folded tightly across her body and a frown pinching the corners of her mouth. The boys had been a buffer, but now it was just the two of them. Neither said anything for what felt an eternity.
“We’re going to need to talk sometime.” Danny laced his fingers and rested his elbows on his knees.
“Then talk.” Heather’s voice was tight, laden with tears. There was room next to Danny on the steps, but she remained where she was.
“Let’s start with the fact you walked out on me,” Danny said. “You walked out and took Lucas, Matty and Tommy with you.” He looked at his wife, angry, and then looked away. He might have stayed in the house physically, but emotionally he’d walked out before Heather ever did. That slice of truth stung and just made him more defensive.
Heather matched his anger with her curt retort. “Well, I wasn’t going to stick around and be made a fool of anymore.”
“A fool? What are you talking about?”
Her look was incredulous. “Seriously? I wasn’t going to sit there and play the good wife while you screwed your girlfriend. I mean, Goddammit, Danny, you lied to me.” She turned to face him, arms still taut across her body like a shield. “You were meeting Lauren all the time. The night of that baseball game? Rachel’s photo? You lied to me about seeing her that night.”
“A lie of omission,” Danny said. “But it wasn’t because I was sneaking around. She was already there. We shot the shit while my pizzas cooked. I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d flip out—same way you do every time Lauren gets mentioned—and then we’d fight. And I was sick-and-fucking-tired of being accused of something I hadn’t done.” It had been twenty minutes and two slices of pizza. Danny was tired of hearing her beat that dead horse.
“Whatever.” Heather rolled her eyes.
“That’s exactly my point!” Danny jumped up. “You didn’t believe me when I was telling the truth, so why should I bother? Why should I even try to be a good husband?” He resisted the urge to kick the cheery-looking flowerpot and stomped down the stairs.
“That’s right. You’ve been so good—”
He cut her off. “Don’t you come at me like that. I’m a good father, and I’ve tried to be a good husband. We haven’t been happy for a long time, Heather. And I stayed. Istayed! I wasn’t the one who walked out and took the kids. I wasn’t the one who quit on us. You used Lauren as an excuse to bail.” He backed up a step as Heather’s neck turned scarlet. He must have struck a nerve because that only happened when she was utterly furious.
