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The song has changed toEmpty Crownby Yas, the beat hitting me in the gut as the desperate lyrics wash over me. It's too much with what's happening right now, the words too poignant, that I snap, throwing my arms out. “Can someone turn the fucking music off!”
“Hey, Pretty Girl,” I hear Loki say gently, reaching out to touch me.
I instinctively jerk back, regretting the move instantly as I see the desolate look in his emerald eyes. My heart cracks, yet I don't step closer, I can’t with the past and present blurring right now, and his hand drops to his side, breaking me a little more.
“Just tell me why?” I sob, tears making hot tracks down my cheeks at the thought that these boys are capable of such brutality. Have maybe hurt people like my mum was hurt before death claimed her that day.
My eyes look round frantically, then finally settling back on Ash. His gaze softens a fraction, although it feels like he's preparing for a blow as he almost cringes.
“Princess…” he starts, looking suddenly bone weary, his whole torso caving in as his shoulders round. “It's too dangerous for you to know everything,” he says pleadingly, scrubbing his hands over his face and leaving his usually pristine hair in even further disarray.
“Tell me,” I demand, standing straighter even though every fibre of my body is shaking. “Please, Ash. Just tell me what is going on.”
I feel so numb, like I'm not really here. I'm fucking floored by the fact that they hurt someone. That they've done it more than once. That they’ll probably do it again.
Rivers of red ribbons…
The image sears my retinas, as if I’m in that room once more, and I force it down with a shake of my head before it can take root.
Ash sits down heavily, elbows dropping to his knees and hands dangling between them, like he's just too exhausted to stand up anymore.
“As Kai told you, our families are all in business together. Sometimes, someone oversteps the line and needs to be dealt with.”
“Dealt with?” I ask, wrapping my arms round myself, but finding no comfort. “What do you mean?”
I see Loki jerk towards me, and I can't deny how much I want his strong arms wrapped round me right now, holding me tight. But, I just can't. I need a clear head. I need to understand. So I shake my head, and once again fracture into pieces as he looks heartbroken, rubbing his chest as if he’s in physical pain.
“I thought I made that pretty fucking clear earlier, Princess,” Ash says, his voice full of cold arrogance as he looks up at me, jaw hard. “We interrogate them for intel, we hurt them if they don't give it to us, or we teach them a lesson if they cross us.” He says all this so casually, like he's talking about calculus and not the fact that they injure people.
“And you have to...deal with them? Like the way my mum was dealt with?” I ask, my voice cutting and only hitching slightly at the end. Ash flinches like I’ve struck him, and I hear curses behind me.
“We have to prove ourselves, Baby Girl,” Jax rumbles from his place behind me, and I spin round.
A part of me notices that none of them deny the inference that things may go further than just bodily harm. My stomach threatens to revolt at that thought.
I can see his arms are crossed over his chest defensively, and he's leaning against the mantelpiece. A fire burns in the fireplace sending out a warmth that I can't feel, whilst I stand here with what feels like despair wrapping its cold fingers round my heart.
“It's our legacy,” he tells me, and he’s completely closed off, withdrawn from me and giving me the bare facts. But there’s a pleading look in his blue eyes, begging me to understand. “We must show that we are worthy to take over our roles in the company one day.”
I just gape at him.This is all about business?
“I don't understand,” I reply, looking into his sharp blue eyes, silently asking him to explain it to me. To tell me this isn’t just about money and lining their pockets.
“A few years back, we were all taken to a cabin in the Rockies,” Loki begins out of the blue, his low voice making me ache to be surrounded by his warmth. I look over to him, still standing nearby, arms at his sides, like he can't bear to be too far away from me.
“Loki…” Ash growls out, standing up, his whole body bristling.
Loki spins towards him. “She deserves to know the whole fucked up story, Ash!” Loki shouts, getting up in Ash's face. They stay like that for a few moments, chests heaving and gazes locked.
“Fine,” Ash snaps out, turning his back on Loki, and grabbing his drink before sitting back down.
“We thought it was some team building shit that they, our fathers, kept putting us through. I guess it was in a way.” Loki lets out a cruel chuckle. It's a sound I've never heard from him before, and I hate it. “We arrived, and they took us down to the basement.” He closes his eyes, tilting his head back, hands running over his hair. “There was a...mark, a target in the basement. Tied and gagged.” He looks at me then, and the pain and loathing in his eyes takes me aback, my pounding heart stuttering in my chest. “They told us that now that we were older, and if we ever wanted to take over the business, we needed to learn what had to be done when someone got in our way. When someone knows too much, or tries to cross us.” He stops, his eyes hard, yet asking me to understand why they’ve committed such atrocities. But I don't. Not yet.
“What happened?” I whisper, not wanting the story to continue, but needing to know the truth about these guys. “What did you have to do?” I ask, dreading the answer, but desperate for the truth.
“We each took turns beating the shit out of him,” Kai's soft melodic voice sounds out. Only, it's got a hard quality to it now.
“You could have refused,” I counter quietly. “You could have said no.”
