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Seconds later, they collide into me with an oomph, wrapping me in a tight hug and it feels so good to be held that my eyes moisten.
“We're gonna miss you,” Julie says, a slight whine in her voice as both girls pull back and I quickly choke back tears.
“Promise you'll come back soon?” Heather asks with such an earnest look on her face that I couldn't refuse her, even if I wanted to. Which I'm not sure I do.
“Of course,” I manage to get out around the lump in my throat that's grown even bigger. “I'll see you both soon.”
“Promise?” Julie asks, eyes hopeful.
“Pinky promise,” I say, remembering when Mum used to say the same to me. Pinky promises were sacred, not to be broken.
They both beam as we hear the window wind down.
“Girls, we've got to get back,” Loki's hard voice says, and both girls roll their eyes at him.
“He woke up grumpy and has been like a bear all morning,” Heather says, giggling.
I kiss the top of both their heads and disentangle their arms just as Clarissa comes to the door.
“Girls!” she calls, not even bothering to look at me.
They roll their eyes again, the sassy minxes, then step away, waving as I get in the car. Loki starts the engine and then speeds off in a shower of gravel.
“Your sisters are lovely,” I say, glancing at him from the corner of my eye, my heart beating so fast I’m afraid it’ll burst out of my chest.
It’s agony sitting so close to him, yet it’s like a huge chasm lies between us. I can see he has a death grip on the steering wheel, his knuckles white, and his forearms corded.
Even in anger, he's so fucking beautiful it takes my breath away. And then I remember what he's done, the blood he's spilt, and I feel sick, glad I didn't eat any breakfast.
He says nothing, doesn't even acknowledge that I've spoken, just clenches his jaw so tightly that I'm surprised his teeth don't crack.
We stay that way for the rest of the drive, sitting in complete silence, my heart hurting so much I can barely suppress the tears that threaten to fall.
* * *
LOKI
I watch, my chest heaving, as the light leaves his chocolate eyes, a dribble of dark burgundy oozing between them. Smoke from the barrel of my gun rises up and obscures the sight of his broken body, adding to the feeling of a soul rising to the heavens. Of a soul finally being at peace. A peace I’m beginning to ache for.
Except for the ringing in my ears, for the first time tonight, there's a beautiful cathartic silence. Lost in thoughts of taking flight, of freedom from this life, I startle with a gasp when a hand lands on my shoulder.
I look up to see Ash’s pain filled eyes, my hands dropping at my side, the gun still locked in my grip. He's started doing what he can to protect us from all this shit, even though I can see it tormenting his soul. The darkness is slowly eating him from the inside out, and soon nothing will stop him, us, from becoming the monsters that they've started training us to be.
I hear a thunderous clap mocking the peaceful silence, and I look up to see my father gliding from his seat in the corner, striding closer to me, a look of pride on his face. A warmth runs through me at the look of approval and I suddenly feel sick.
“I'm impressed, son,” he says in his gravelly voice. “To be honest, I didn't think you had it in you.” He laughs cruelly, clapping me on the back. “I'd even considered having to train up one of your sisters when the time came, but a shot right in the middle of his forehead! Beautifully done.” He's smiling at me, and I think it might be the first time that he has smiled at me and spoken nicely to me my whole life.
“Good work, boys,” Julian Vanderbilt says, before turning on his heel and going towards the basement stairs, the other three men following behind like loyal sheep.
“What do we do with…” Ash asks his back, indicating the body.
Julian pauses. “I expect you to clean up your own mess. Take out this trash, and do it right. If there is any evidence left...there will be consequences,” he tells us sharply, his eyes cutting before heading up the stairs with the rest of them.
I'm still holding the gun, my hand shaking slightly. My head whips up when I hear Kai's groan. Jax has stripped his shirt off, pressing it to the bleeding wound in Kai’s shoulder, Luc standing there helping him apply pressure.
My eyes flit back to the dead man in the chair in front of me. I feel a sense of relief that it's done. That he's free from pain. That I was the one to free him. Then I remember that he's someone’s father, husband, or brother. Bile rises up my throat, my knees go weak, and I stumble forward.
Ash catches me, and when I look up at him, I can see the mantle that settles on his shoulders. He’s the oldest of us all, yet still only fourteen. Ghosts haunt his eyes, and his responsibilities age him, making him seem so much older.
