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And somehow, here we are.
Because my father is weak and susceptible and addicted to money and power.
To find a solution, though, I need to know what happened. I need to know everything.
I won’t do it to help my dad, but I will do it for Lilah.
And once I know she’s safe, I’m safe, we’re out for good. Whether that means completely cutting ties or getting Dad the help he needs will be up to Dad.
“Dad . . . How—”
“I was set up.” He looks defeated.
“What?” He continues to talk as if I didn’t.
“I couldn’t lose. There was no way, Lola.”
“What was it?”
“Closed game. Poker, held by Paulie Carluccio.” Fuckin’ A. Paulie Carluccio is the grandson of Carmello, around my age, deep into the “family business” and rumored to be in the running for taking over when the time comes.
His father was the man my mother was to marry forty years ago.
“Fuck, Dad. What were youthinking!?”
“I’m serious. It was perfect. I was winning big, and then I wasn’t. I was set up. They were planning it. They wanted the disposal ordinance passed in order to settle the debt, but I couldn’t make it happen without questions. Now Johnny’s asking for money he knows I don’t have. But I swear, I was winning. It was a no-lose situation.”
I snap.
“It’s always no-lose! Until youfucking lose, Dad!And then your daughter is losing her entire trust to your bullshit to keep you clean, to keep your image clean!”
“I can’t—”
“And now Lilah! It wasthe one thing she asked for, Dad!And you’re fucking it up! What were you thinking?”
“Don’t talk to me like that, Lola. I’m your father,” he says, his voice angry in a way I’ve never heard.
I don’t have a chance to register the shock that ripples through me, the shock that he’s actually angryat me.
As if I’m not the one who had her entire sense of safety and privacy stripped away.
As if I haven’t spent my entire life keeping Lilah safe because Mom asked me to and he fucked that up at a poker table.
Instead, I stand, my chair scraping against hardwood floors in a way that my mom would have yelled at me for if she were still here.
But she’s not.
And as much as I don’t want to admit it, this is just as much her fault as it is Dad’s. As it is mine, for letting things go this far. Her secrets, her lies, and her inability to stand up to her husband are, in part, what got us here.
But we’re here all the same.
I lean forward on the table, my finger pointing at my father.
“You need to fix this. I cannot fix this for you. You need to fix this and keep Lilah and me out of it.” His mouth opens, but the rage has taken over.
New Lola has taken control, and she’s not leaving any room for misinterpretation.
“Fix this or I’m gonna start talking.” His face drains of color. “To your colleagues, to the press, to whoever will listen. Sam told me there are already doubts, so it wouldn’t take much. But I’m telling you now, if I go down, you’re coming with me, Dad. If something happens to Lilah, I will make sure that you crumble alongside us.”
