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“James,” I said dryly.
“Josephine,” he threw back.
“Be nice,” Lila said with a sad smile as she slid into his arms.
“I’m always nice.” Ash brushed a kiss into her hair. He looked … besotted. Like he’d won the lottery to have her in his life again. He’d better fucking act like it forever because he’d never get this chance again as far as I was concerned.
“I’m going to go see Maddox.”
Lila bit her lip. “Does … Martin know you’re here?”
“Yeah.”
“Does he know why?”
“A death in the family,” I offered.
Lila hugged me again. “Be careful,” she whispered.
I didn’t need the warning. I knew why I was here. I didn’t have any illusion that Maddox and I would reconcile. Not after I’d married someone else.
I knocked twice on Maddox’s door and then stepped into the darkened room. “Hey.”
Maddox was on his back on the bed. He was shirtless, in nothing but boxers, as he stared blankly up at the ceiling. “Hey.”
I kicked off my shoes and dropped my jacket. “How are you doing?”
“The same as I was four hours ago.”
“Can I …” I gestured to the bed.
His eyes slid to mine then. They were red-rimmed. He and Gramps had always been close. Gramps had supported his art, even when Gran was a little too hard on him for not caring about academics. Gramps had encouraged him to get the SCAD scholarship. He’d been there through all the ups and downs. I couldn’t imagine how Maddox felt to lose him.
When he didn’t say no, I slipped onto the bed next to him. I reached out and took his hand in mine. He sighed and then laced our fingers together. His eyes closed at the contact, and I tried to slow my heart rate. I was here for him. This wasn’t sexual. I wasn’t going to do anything stupid. But sometimes, it was really fucking hard to suppress the way I felt about him.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he finally said.
I scooted closer until our shoulders were touching. My eyes were still on his face. “I’m glad you let me come.”
Then, he shifted his arm out to the side and offered me the space against his side. I scooted in, resting my head against his chest, my arm draping across his waist. His fingers moved through my dark hair.
I had no idea how long we lay like that. Just holding each other through the worst of the pain. At some point, I made him get up and eat something. Then, we returned to his bedroom, wrapped up like a cocoon under the covers.
At some point, he rolled me over and pulled my back to his chest. I fit against him as if I’d been made for it. His arms were around my body, holding me tight. Even though what had happened was terrible, I felt closer to him than ever. At some point in the night, he started whispering to me, telling me all the stories he could remember about Gramps.
We must have fallen asleep in each other’s arms because I woke the next morning to sunlight streaming in through the windows. Maddox still held me tight to his chest.
An urgent knock on the bedroom door made him jerk upright. “What?”
“Maddox, Teena is at the door,” Lila said.
“Fuck,” Maddox said, scrambling out of bed.
My eyes were wide as I realized who Teena must be—the girlfriend. Not good.
His eyes jerked to mine. “I …”
“You don’t have to explain,” I said quickly. “Go see her.”
He nodded, tugged on shorts and a T-shirt, and hurried out of the room. I made sure to grab anything I’d left in his room and dashed across the hall into the bathroom. I felt fifteen again, sneaking around to hide out from parents. Though Maddox and I had done nothing wrong, it certainly wasn’t platonic and hadn’t been in years.
It was twenty minutes later when Maddox knocked on the bathroom door. “Jos?”
I cracked the door. “Your girlfriend?”
He nodded, hanging his head. “I shouldn’t have told you to come here.”
“Yeah,” I whispered.
“Besides my girlfriend … you’re married.”
“I know.”
“I shouldn’t want to see you anymore.”
Shouldn’t wasn’t don’t, and we both knew it.
Our eyes finally met. I could see the pain was still there. Maybe it would always be there. Gramps was more a father to him than the dad he’d never met. But something had lessened since I’d shown up, and I couldn’t regret driving down here to see him if that was true.
“You should … you should probably go.”
“But the funeral.”
He swallowed, and then his eyes hardened. “I don’t think you should come to the funeral.”
My stomach dropped. Gramps had helped raise me too. I’d stayed at their house over the years almost as much as my mother’s. It hurt to think I couldn’t be there. But if I’d been honest with Martin from the start … Maddox and I could have been together right now, and there would have been no explanations. These were the consequences of my own actions.
