Page 45 of Fear the Fall


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The memory of the night I fell makes me sick. I fly from the bed, falling to my knees at the base of the toilet, spilling the contents of my stomach. I heave as my diaphragm clenches. Bile trickles from my lips.

I’ve repressed the truth for so long. Luke was Lucifer in disguise. The ultimate trickster convinced me to fall in the false name of love. The reminder of my idiocy has me hurling into the porcelain god again. When I think I’m finished, I lay my cheek against the lid and try to get my racing heart under control.

As much as I want to come clean to Zeke, I’m not ready. I haven’t admitted to anyone that I fell for the devil.

“What?” Zeke’s hard tone filters into the bathroom, drawing my attention and giving my mind a short reprieve. “I’ll be there within the hour. Be ready,” he says, before everything goes quiet.

I stand, making my way to the sink. Looking in the mirror, I cringe at my reflection. Clammy skin and an ashen complexion stare back at me. My hands press into the cold counter as I continue to inspect my face. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. A once beloved angel of Heaven has been reduced to a sick-looking girl, hardly fit to walk Earth. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to rage at Lucifer for making me this pathetic girl.

What would that accomplish?

I grab a towel from the counter and wipe my mouth roughly, then quickly brush my teeth and swish with mouthwash. All to buy myself some time to pull it together. When my body is finally done shaking, I walk back to meet Zeke.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine. My stomach is just a bit queasy. No big deal.” I try to brush it off, but Zeke’s narrowed gaze tells me he’s not buying it. “Where are you going?” I push forward, sounding tired and weak.

“Blaine’s group has more questions. They showed up here last night, but we were already gone. I need to fill them in on what happened in the cemetery. It’s likely we’ll encounter arcs again.” He purses his lips in thought. “They need to know the whole truth.”

I sigh. “Do you think there will be repercussions from Heaven for telling them?”

He runs his palms over his face. “We’re going to need more than two fallens to take on whatever’s coming, Tori. What other choice do we have? The archangels are inconsistent with their help. We can’t rely on them. We’ll all die anyway.”

I hate to admit that he’s right. Whatever war is upon us, we’ll need all hands on deck. The human men have proven to be decent allies, but will they be enough?

“Leeanna barely allowed me to fight next to her. What do you think she’ll do if humans get involved?”

“I’m not worried about Lee. She’ll do what’s best for Heaven and Earth.”

“You have that much faith in her after everything?” The edge in my voice seems to strike a nerve. Zeke’s eyes darken and his lips form a hard, straight line.

“We’re not talking about Lee, Tori.”

My teeth clench and my hands ball into fists. The need to rage is so intense that I can feel my face heating with all the pent-up anger. Inhaling and then exhaling, I bring myself under control. It’s not only this conversation that has me ready for a fight. My dream is playing a key role, and because of it, I don’t want to go down this path. It’s not relevant to the issue at hand.

“I think it’s time we start looking for other fallen angels.”

Zeke groans. “There are none. I’ve looked.”

His total disregard for my suggestion does nothing but reenergize my ire.

“Maybe they’re better at hiding than you are.”

He turns on me, red-faced and completely unlike Zeke. “Why am I never good enough for you, Tori?”

“W-what?” I ask, slinking backward, trying to put as much distance as possible between us. Zeke’s reaction to a simple statement is so unlike him. The day has gone downhill ever since the mention of Leeanna’s name, and I have to question why. Why does the mention of her elicit such an intense negative reaction, still?

“I never said that,” I say, voice rising to meet his.

“You might as well. You insinuate it all the fucking time.” He takes two giant steps toward me, and I step backward in response.

My hands come up to forestall his advance. “Please stop. You’re scaring me.”

His glare retreats, regret left in its place. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“Is this all because I mentioned Leeanna?” The question is asked before I can consider whether I really want the confirmation. I already know, but hearing him say it will sting even more.

He grimaces, and that confirms it. “Don’t bother,” I say, turning my back and bending to retrieve my shirt. I pull it over my head, shielding my nakedness from Zeke, needing the armor.

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