Page 130 of Bitter Sweet Heart


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She looks at Maverick, whose expression reflects horror.

“What?”

“Can you be less . . .” His hands flail as he searches for the right word.

“No, honey. I can’t be less. It’s both part of my charm and the reason all of my children need therapy.” She gives him what looks to be a semi-apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I hope you’ll still visit me in the retirement home when I’m old and making penises out of clay during craft time.”

I choke on a laugh. Maverick wasn’t lying about his mother, or exaggerating. Not even a little bit.

“My lack of filter only gets worse with age. By the time I’m in my sixties, I have a feeling the only child who will willingly be seen in public with me is my daughter.” Violet pats my shoulder. “Come on, let’s sit down. Can I get you a glass of wine? Maybe a bottle with a straw?” She takes me by the elbow and guides me to the table. “Maverick, there’s a bottle of white in the fridge and a red on the counter. Bring them both out, please.”

Dinner is not what I expected. At all. I don’t get the third degree from his mother. No one pushes me to talk about Gabriel. In fact, the only time it’s brought up is when Alex mentions that the security company he uses is going to install cameras and invisible fences along the perimeter of my property, and that he’d like to cover the cost.

And when Violet eventually mentions Nashville and asks what Maverick’s thoughts are on the offer, she listens to what he has to say and doesn’t push him one way or the other. Instead, she tells him to weigh the pros and cons before he makes a final decision.

After we finish, Alex and Maverick clear the dishes and put away the leftovers, leaving me and his mother alone for a few minutes.

“Thank you for being so hospitable,” I tell her. “I know this can’t be easy for you—not with your daughter in New York and Maverick making big decisions about his future, and here I am turning everything upside down.”

She hums a quiet laugh and picks up one of the napkins Maverick turned into a crane. “I don’t think you’re the one turning everything upside down, Clover. Alex filled me in on what happened yesterday, and while the circumstances are certainly less than ideal, you are not the reason your ex-husband did what he did.” She blows out a breath. “That must have been terrifying for you.”

“I’m still processing, if I’m going to be quite honest.”

“That seems reasonable, all things considered.” She smiles sadly and rubs her bottom lip with her fingertips. Her nails are painted lavender, with little white hearts decorating them. “I’ve had some time to think about what you said at Maverick’s convocation. It’s hard not to be protective of your children, even when they’re adults. He’ll always be my little boy, even though he weighs twice what I do and has more than a foot on me. And it’s hard, as a mother, to realize that you’ve failed your child. It’s the last thing I ever wanted to do.” She reaches for another napkin and dabs at her eyes.

“You didn’t fail him, Violet.”

“I did, though. I should have seen it—what he was doing, how he wasn’t dealing with things. He’s always been very much his name, and yet totally the opposite. He’s had to balance so many different roles. He’s such a good man. And it breaks my heart that he’s been carrying around so much guilt over something that wasn’t his fault, and that he’s felt compelled to step into shoes he never wanted to fill.”

“Maverick is very good at showing people what they want to see,” I tell her. “And until recently, he’s always put himself last. It’s his nature to protect and to care for people. That’s who he is, and you and Alex have done a great job of giving him a stable and loving family he can rely on. Trust the job you’ve done. He’s never made any decision without fully weighing the consequences.”

Her expression softens. “You really are in love with him, aren’t you?”

“As complicated as it is, I am.”

“You know, I shouldn’t be surprised that he ended up falling in love with his professor. He was forever flirting with Robbie’s girlfriends when he first started bringing them around. And the last time he went out with a girl his own age was when he took a girl in his class to the eighth-grade dance.” She sets the crane on the table. “It’s taken me some time to get my head around the two of you as a couple, but I can see that you really care about him, and that he is head-over-ass in love with you. He seems . . . settled in a way I’ve never seen him before, like he’s sure of himself.” She smiles at me. “Whatever he decides moving forward, personally and professionally, Alex and I will support him.”

Forty-One

All the Ways to Break

Maverick

I’ve gone through bouts of insomnia before, but it’s never been like this. Every time I close my eyes, images of Clover in the cabin and Lavender when they found her at the carnival flash through my mind. And when I fall asleep, the nightmares are brain-melting. So it’s been nearly forty-eight hours since I slept, apart from that nap I took with Clover.

She’s just fallen asleep, and my phone is buzzing on the nightstand. It’s Lavender. I shouldn’t be surprised.

I can’t see Kody being able to keep what happened from her, and I honestly wouldn’t want him to. What happened yesterday was some crazy shit, and today he met with the coach from Philly and then flew back to New York. His head must be spinning. I know mine sure as hell is.

I roll out of bed and pad across the floor, answering the call with a whispered, “Hold on a sec.” I unlock the sliding door and step out into the warm summer air.

“Okay. Hey. What’s up?”

“Okay. Hey. What’s up?” she repeats.

“I’m taking it Kody is home.”

“Yes, Kodiak is home.” She’s silent for a moment before she asks, “Are you okay? And I don’t mean are you okay with the current state of the world. I mean, Kodiak told me what happened, so I know you have a girlfriend, which I called, by the way, but gotta be honest, the professor angle was a bit of a shocker. Also, the fact that her name is Clover is fitting. But when I’m asking if you’re okay, I mean mentally and emotionally, how are you handling what happened?”

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