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The fact he liked keeping me out of the loop was a torture on its own. One moment he had me thinking I knew what he was spinning in his sinister mind and the next, he was doing the complete opposite. While I didn’t expect him to suddenly develop some compassion for me, it would be better if he told me in advance what the plan was just so I had time to prepare for what was to come. I had this notion that if you mourn for something that hasn’t happened yet, the impact is more bearable when it finally happens.
But this wasn’t about me, and he enjoyed reminding me of that.
He stopped at the last room and turned to link my arm with his. The sudden contact caught me off guard and I wasn’t sure what to do, so I froze. His arms were muscular and the grip around me was unyielding. The moment he touched me, heat seared my flesh and unleashed a flurry of goosebumps. I still wasn’t getting used to my crazy reactions to this man, but I wasn’t entirely taken off guard this time. Was this how women felt when their bodies were pinned to the wall and he was holding their hips in place? Or when he carried them to bed?
I was mortified by the speed at which my brain was able to produce pictures of us in bed, his sweaty body on top of me as he fucked me, demanding I say his name … and me, desperate for an orgasm, shouting it at the top of my lungs. Him rewarding me with sharp thrusts and me coming apart beneath him. I was supposed to be clueless and yet, I couldn’t believe my mind could produce such explicit fantasies. Every time he was too near, I also seemed to conveniently forget the precarious position I was in. How could I be even remotely attracted to the monster? A question I’d asked myself too many times already.
Reluctantly, I tucked away the inappropriate thoughts to another part of my subconscious to be used later when I was alone in my room. Now, I just needed to focus. I squinted my eyes, hoping to make up for my body’s reaction.
“Smile, teacup,” Sebastian ordered softly. I couldn’t tell if he sensed the effect his touch had on me, but I reminded myself that I didn’t need to be embarrassed. After all, he’d recently caught me pleasuring myself after he’d had sex with a prostitute.
He’d made me watch them and the wave of arousal just washed over me, unbidden. Sebastian seemed to enjoying fucking that hooker. At that moment, I suddenly wanted to take her place, fighting with these new unexpected emotions, but I waited until they were done and then, when I was alone in my quarters, I slipped my hand inside my panties, making sure I was in the direct view of the camera, and hoping he was watching me then. I couldn’t believe how bold I was—not in character for me, but he brought something out of me. Something I’d never felt or even remotely entertained before. Totally crazy…
A few minutes later, he joined me and started touching himself, too. We climaxed seconds apart and it was the longest, most the intense orgasm I had ever had in my life. I could not explain why I had hoped Sebastian could see me. Why I’d wanted him to take me, there and then. Still, if my days were numbered, why deny this truth? Maybe it wasn’t the healthiest outlook, but I couldn’t say I had a healthy mindset on any given day, anyway. This was my reality.
“We are about to meet my new business associates and you, my dear, will be pretending to be Russina. I’m expecting you to fucking behave and do what they ask.” His eyes twisted with anger once again. “Try to think about it this way. They are less … forgiving than I am.”
“I understand, but I’m not prepared. It seems that you want me to screw this up,” I told him, feeling like someone had just whacked me across the face. I didn’t care how that sounded, anyway. But before I could add something else, he was beside me and his hand was around my throat. He squeezed it hard and I yelped.
“I’m not going to explain myself to you. Get into character and try not to embarrass me,” he growled. “Otherwise, there will be consequences.”
My lungs demanded oxygen. He was going to suffocate me and I couldn’t do anything about it—that was the message he put across. I didn’t doubt him. His behavior in the car gave him away. The entire ride to the store, I had the sense he was anxious about something. All the more why it didn’t make sense that he hadn’t even tried to get me up to speed on the situation. Did he have a death wish? Until today, I didn’t think there was anyone Sebastian feared, let alone respected. And suffice it to say, that wasn’t good news for me. If things didn’t go well for him, I was dead meat.
Moments later, he finally let go of me and I heaved, taking a few wheezing breaths with my hand against my neck as though I could pump air through my skin. After a long while, I summoned a brave face.
“That won’t help and you should have given me more time. They’ll probably kill me if they suspect foul play.”
“Don’t fucking tell me what to do, brat. There was no time to prepare. I have to work with what I have and that’s entirely your folks’ fault,” he snapped, dragging his hand through his hair.Therewastime—in the car, bastard.But I bit my lip and said nothing, the anger forcing my eyes to water. God, I hated his attitude. He really did want me to die—ideally, have someone else do the dirty work for him when I messed up enough. “Straighten up your back and walk like you own this place,” he added.
I nodded and puffed up my chest. I didn’t have much in that department, but I had to show him at least that I was able to listen. When I glanced around, I saw four men surrounding a casino table in the middle of the room. Two other men, who I suspected were their bodyguards, stood not far away staring back at Sebastian. Soft music was playing in the background. My stomach made another funny jolt and I swallowed hard, telling myself that I could do this. I just had to forget about my insecurities and become Russina for a few hours.
“Gentlemen,” Sebastian announced. “I hope you are enjoying yourselves.”
They all looked up with impassive stares and briefly studied the man on my right. Then their gazes landed on me and I gave them all a cool smile, feeling my heart jackhammer inside my chest. My breath hitched as their faces darkened. I wasn’t fooling them. This was it. I knew I was going to die tonight if I didn’t pull myself together.
What did she even look like? Everyone was talking about how I was a dead ringer for Russina, even my own mother. But no one was willing to tell me what exactly made us so similar. Sebastian must have realized that he set me up for a failure. He should have coached me in advance so I knew how I was supposed to act. He had some time to do that while we were driving, but instead he was staring down at his phone, talking to a woman. He was such an ass.
I had no doubt he’d done it on purpose. He wasn’t that stupid—or maybe his thirst for revenge had taken over his common sense.
Sebastian’s arm locked tighter around mine. I didn’t have to look at him to know the message he was trying to send with that gesture. I needed to get my shit together. This had to work somehow. They hadn’t reached for their guns yet so that was a good sign.
My lips parted under the pretense of widening my smile and I gulped in a little air, as surreptitiously as possible. My muscles relaxed a little.
“Your wife is even more beautiful in person,” a bearded man in a dark leather jacket said, scanning my body. He looked to be about thirty-five and spoke with a thick New York accent. I suspected he was Italian.
“Shut the fuck up, Kenny,” Sebastian said in annoyance, but he seemed relieved, too. I wanted to cry in relief. “Don’t look at what’s mine. Russina is my pet. Let’s get on with this.”
I was shocked when just like that, the tension in the room eased. Their stares moved from me and they all shook hands with Sebastian. He’d given them a warning. I belonged to him and no one could even look at me without his permission. Something like this—a sense of possessiveness and ownership—they could understand. He was speaking their language.
I stood awkwardly for a moment until I caught Sebastian’s intense look. He probably wanted me to socialize—an utterly unrealistic demand given our audience.
Reminding myself to smile, I forced my legs to move and sat at the farthest end of the table next to the bearded man.
“I’m Vinny.” For a split second his gaze dangerously glided from my face to my chest before he must have remembered my husband’s warning. He was playing with fire. I could only hope he couldn’t figure out how hard my heart was pounding. “Russina, is it?”
“Yes, nice to meet you, Vinny,” I said and casually glanced at Sebastian. He was laughing with the other men now and seemed relaxed. He must have sensed me staring back because our eyes met for a moment. He gave me a mild nod. It seemed everything was going according to plan.
“Sebastian is a lucky man,” Vinny went on, lifting his eyes to mine. “I hear you have been married for almost eight years.” He drummed a finger on the table thoughtfully. “Love can be … confusing, especially when you have to mix business with pleasure. How do you two do it? Humor me.”
