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“I’d like to be there.”
“I can’t argue with that.”
“I think you could. I think for some reason, on this, you don’t want to fight me.”
He looked at her profile, and he saw tears welling up in her dark eyes. “Well, maybe I don’t want to be alone.”
“Good. I don’t want to leave you alone. That’s not how this should be. It’s not what I want.”
“I’ll let you know when I schedule one.”
“You going to talk to the rest of your family?”
“Yeah. I guess I have to.”
“Would you like me to go with you?”
“Would you like to be a Kit-skin rug on my grandfather’s floor?”
“Hey,” he said. “I offered to marry you. You turned me down.”
“Yes, but you did have sex with me outside the bonds of holy matrimony.”
“And you had sex with me right back,” he said.
“Point is, I think you should maybe not be there.”
He did not like this. This woman’s insistence on independence. And it wasn’t because he didn’t respect an independent woman. It was because it all felt... He wanted to pick her up and wrap her in a blanket and carry her around. He wanted to make sure that she was safe, that the baby was safe. It all suddenly felt so fraught and fragile he didn’t know what to do.
And yeah, part of him thought... It would be easier if this wasn’t happening. It would be easiest if something went wrong now.
But there was another part of him, a large part, the biggest part, in fact, that couldn’t cope with the idea of something going wrong. It would be one loss too many. It would be unfair. Unendurable. He didn’t want her to go through that pain. He didn’t want to go through it again.
So you’re gonna be a dad.
If he hadn’t been sitting down, the idea would’ve brought him down to his knees. It was unfathomable. He had never thought about being a dad. He had shoved that thought way to the side if anything even remotely resembling it had come up. Yeah. It was not his ideal.
He didn’t know what to make of it now.
“I actually need some time by myself,” she said.
“Are you brushing me off?”
“Yes. I am. Because today has been a lot.”
“I don’t deny that. But don’t you think that you and I should... Talk about this more?”
“I already told you, I don’t feel secure enough in this even being a thing to worry about that just now. We don’t need to be picking out preschools, or whatever you’re thinking.”
“I was not thinking that. But thanks.”
“I assume you’re going to tell your family?”
“I have to tell my family. Because of Chance.”
“Fair point. I understand that.”
“Right. Well. Since we’re not doing it together, I expect I better drive you back to your car and let you get on with things, and then I’ll get on with things.” He didn’t like it. He didn’t like any of it. But he didn’t really have a choice either.
He put the truck in Reverse, turned around and started to head back toward the barn. Started to head back toward where Shelby had left her car.
He wanted to do something. Wanted to kiss her. But they didn’t do that.You weren’t going to be doing things like that. Yeah. And since when do you just take things lying down?
He didn’t. And he wouldn’t. As she got into her car to drive away, he began to put a few very concrete directives in place. He was going to prove to her that it was better if they were together. That it was better if they made a family. He was never going to be her late husband. He was never going to mean that much to her. But they could have another version of a family. And he was going to prove that to her. Even if he had to seduce her around the idea.
