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“I have this for you.”
“Damn, sweetie.”
They were naked, in his living room, and she was standing in front of him like she had at their wedding.
“I just wanted... I just needed... I want to make vows just for you. For us. Vows that are like the stars we looked at together. Because I thought a lot about what I want. I thought a lot about marriage. About what it is. And about what I want us to have.” She brushed a tear away from her face. And he knew right then that no bride could ever have been more beautiful than his. Naked in front of him. Honest and open and not hiding at all.
“Kit Carson,” she said, “I think you might be my fate.” He’d never cared much for that word. Because he hadn’t had a lot of good things in life that could be attributed to fate. But he wanted to believe she was fate. That they were.
So he chose to believe it.
She drew in a jagged breath. “And I have spent a long time trying to avoid that thought. I felt guilty that I was attracted to you. It felt like a sin. And I wanted to make it something less than it was. But my road was always going to lead to you, whether I knew it or not. I can tell you honestly that I made vows to another man, and I kept them. But he’s not my husband anymore. I just say that, because I want you to know that these vows that I’m making to you I’m going to keep. I’m gonna keep them with everything I am.”
A tear trailed down her cheek and he reached up and wiped it away. He wanted to make all of her pain easier. Always. He knew too much about life to think he could keep her from it entirely, but he could carry some of it.
“I’m not married to you because of the baby,” she said. “I know that marriage is more than that. Deeper than that. I love you, and I want to share a life with you. House with you. A bed with you. I love you because you make me feel things I didn’t know were possible. I love you, because... Even just talking to you... It made me feel like I could shake myself out of this hole that I was standing in. That place where I was stuck. You made me feel that way. And I really wanted that. But then we... We became more. We became what I think we were meant to be.”
“Shelby... I love you. And I know for a fact that I was meant to be with you. And there were all these things, all these terrible things that made me feel like I couldn’t be with anyone, but when I sat back, and I honored what I lost instead of just being angry about it... That was when it made sense. That was when I could love you. And I really do love you.”
“I love you too,” she said. “So much. I love you so much and it was all just fear. I’m not gonna say I don’t... That I don’t feel any now. I do. It’s scary. Feeling all of this. It’s terrifying. Because, Kit... You’re everything in a way no one else has ever been. The way that we talk. The way that we are. And I resisted... The image of you in my house, the image of you in my life, because... It’s just so much. It’s everything. I was never afraid that I couldn’t care about you enough. I was always afraid that if I admitted it, it would be too much. And I promise you... If it ever feels like too much, I’m not going to pull away again. I’m going to lean right in.”
And then she took the ring out of the box, and took his hand in hers. And she slipped that band onto his finger. “For better or worse. In sickness and in health. Till forever.”
“Till forever,” he agreed.
“Also...six inches is patently not enough.”
He chuckled. “Glad you came around to seeing things that way.
“I love you.”
“It was always you,” she said. “It’s always you.”
