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“Ah, that,” Bridget could feel her cheeks flushing. “Why, of course, dear Sarah. Why wouldn’t I be able to go down a corridor by myself without straying?”
It was a shameless lie, and worst of all, she was telling it to her sister, the only person she had endless trust in. Yet, she wasn’t certain whether she could reveal the truth to anyone, even Sarah.
“I was only asking because it took you a while to get back, that is all,” Sarah said apologetically.
Bridget felt bad. Sarah was merely inquiring out of sisterly concern as always while it was Bridget who spoke to her in such a defensive manner.
“I always appreciate your concern, dearest Sarah,” she said with less apprehension that her sister could somehow know what she had done. Her misguided fancies were still occupying Bridget’s mind, but she endeavored to focus her attention on the person and the situation at hand. “Now, how about we partake in some Madeira? I am in the mood for something sweet.”
Bridget doubted that the sweet taste of Madeira would satiate the thirst that was still lingering on the tip of her tongue, but at least it would provide a welcome distraction.
“Good idea,” Sarah agreed, taking Bridget by the hand and walking her over to a small table where all sorts of different drinks were served. Bridget heard Sarah order two Madeiras from a servant whose obligation for the evening was to pour liquor and other beverages. “Here you go.” Sarah gave Bridget a glass, and she immediately brought it to her lips, taking a small sip. The taste was overwhelmingly pleasant as it glided down her throat. Once again, that warmth deep inside of her was stirred, but not in the manner that Joseph managed to tempt it.
“Could you tell where the Duke was seated during dinner?” Sarah whispered as the two moved away from the center of the room to the sidelines where they would not be overheard.
Too far away,Bridget thought to herself, remembering Joseph’s own words. She almost smiled but managed to bite her tongue in time.
“I’m afraid not,” she said instead. “Could you?”
“Yes,” Sarah replied. “I do believe that he was seated next to Lady Julia Clavering.”
Bridget felt a pang of jealousy. She was not personally acquainted with the aforementioned Lady, but she was aware of her reputation as a stunning beauty. Not only that, but she was also the daughter of a brazenly rich earl, and as such, she was certainly one of the most sought-after ladies of the season.
“She was doing most of the talking, I must say,” Sarah added, not even realizing what was going through her sister’s mind. “That must be why you could not hear him.”
Bridget had never been jealous before. That sensation was utterly unfamiliar to her until this very moment. The thought that she could ever be good enough for someone like Joseph was something she was desperate to convince herself of, but at the same time, she was reasonable enough to know better than to lie to herself.
A blind duchess. Who ever heard of such a thing?
Bridget sighed. “Well, it is a party, after all. Everyone is allowed to enjoy themselves, and I am certain that the Duke was enjoying himself with Lady Clavering.” She did her best to disguise the emotion in her voice in order to sound indifferent. She could only hope that she managed to do so.
A moment later, their mother approached them to introduce a lady, and a pleasant conversation ensued which did not include a single mention of her blindness. Bridget particularly enjoyed such conversations which made her feel as if she actually belonged there.
* * *
“A splendid party, Joseph.” Oliver approached him, giving a respectful nod to Seth, who was already on his feet, excusing himself to walk over to the other end of the room where a small group of gentlemen stood huddled together and welcomed him in.
“All the congratulations should be directed to my mother,” Joseph explained, glancing at the door, a subconscious wish to be somewhere else. “It is her party, after all.”
“I shall divert my congratulations to her then when we are reunited with the ladies,” Oliver smiled.
Joseph glanced up at him. Their friendship had been much stronger before. In the last two years or so, Joseph felt that they had somehow grown apart. Neither of them was to blame for that. It was simply how life went sometimes. But he still remembered the good old days when they spent nights in the taverns and then continued their private parties in one of the more infamous clubs of the city which required a special ticket to be admitted. Joseph wondered if Oliver was still in possession of his.
“Uhm, speaking of the ladies…” Oliver added suddenly, his tone turning ominous somehow. He took his seat by Joseph, pausing for a moment. “I remember what you used to say before, you know, about marrying. I’m wondering if that decision is still valid.”
Joseph swallowed heavily. A night which commenced in such a promising manner now threatened to come to a devastating finish. Yet, he knew that if he were in Oliver’s shoes, he would certainly be having this conversation as well, concerned about his sisters’ well-being and reputation.
“You know my family history, Oliver,” Joseph replied after a brief pause. “The way I feel about my late father has not changed. It will never change.”
This was where his stopped talking. The moment felt right. It felt convenient, but he knew that Oliver would not be swayed so easily. He was a smart young man. After all, that was why Joseph enjoyed his company.
“That is not really an answer to my question,” Oliver pointed out.
Indeed, it was not.
“No, Oliver,” Joseph finally spoke, feeling a pang in his heart. He was not used to lying to people, especially those he cared about. “I have not changed my mind about marriage. I vowed never to marry or to have heirs, and I repeat it once again here in front of you.”
Oliver pressed his lips together to a thin slit then he pinched the bridge of his nose. A moment later, he released the pressure.
