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“What about when we are in public?” he asked, tilting his head a little.
“What do you mean?” she sounded slightly confuse as if she had a rehearsed monologue which she had every intention of delivering, and now that he interrupted her, she had no idea where she left off.
“I mean, the physical aspect of our relationship,” he pointed out. He liked how the sunlight played with the lavender shades of her dress and how it accentuated her chocolate-colored hair. “Are we to pretend that we are two strangers in public?”
“Well, wearetwo strangers who will happen to be married,” she shrugged.
“Yes, we shall know that, but others won’t.”
“That makes no difference,” she commented.
“I was merely asking if these rules would allow us to… say, dance together at balls or perhaps stroll through a garden holding hands. That is, after all, what married people do.”
“Ah, that,” she replied awkwardly. “I suppose dancing is all right. So is hand holding while strolling. But nothing other than that.”
“I see,” he nodded. “That all sounds fine.”
“Also,” she added, “I know you are a man, and as a man, you have certain… needs.”
This time, he almost coughed out loud at her comment. He was certainly not expecting to be discussing a man’s need with his future wife, unchaperoned on the second day that they met each other. Nothing about this conversation was expected or anticipated, and at this point, he had become flustered, but before he could tell her that they did not need to be discussing that, she had already continued.
“If you wish to have a mistress, that is your right,” she said. “All I ask of you is to be discreet.”
He allowed these last words to sink in as he gazed at her. Something inside of him awoke at the sound of her voice, at the boldness of the words that she spoke, because they required an immense amount of strength to say out loud. Right now, he could not have imagined anything more attractive in a woman than this amount of courage.
“I agree,” he said simply.
She, however, seemed surprised as if she expected him to fight her on at least some of the stated conditions. “You do?” she wondered.
“Of course,” he nodded. “They all make perfect sense. There is just one slight thing I would like to mention.”
“Oh?” she echoed, sounding even more confused now, apprehensive even.
“I do not need or want a mistress,” he told her although he was still in awe that they were having this conversation. Even more so, that they were discussing it as if they were discussing the weather. “I have never needed one before. I can’t possibly see my needs changing so much as to need one now.”
“Well… what is it that you need then?”
“My needs are simple,” he shrugged, knowing that he would reveal himself to her far earlier than he anticipated doing it, but since they were on the path of mutual acknowledgement, he decided to go all the way. “Merely spending the night with a woman has never been my cup of tea, so to speak. I am in no need of instant gratification in that manner.”
She seemed a bit taken aback by his revelation, but she said nothing. He wondered if he surprised her as much as she had surprised him. He hoped that was the case.
“I do, however, have one rule of my own,” he added. He paused to see whether she would inquire about it, but she simply waited to hear him reveal it on his own. “We can lead separate lives, stay out of each other’s way, but I would like for us to have dinner together every night.”
She seemed to expect something else. What exactly, he could not be sure, but it wasn’t this. Her eyes revealed her utter disbelief then relief. She smiled.
“Just dinner?” she asked.
“Just dinner,” he nodded. “We’ll be partners in a way. I think we can manage a civilized dinner every evening, don’t you?”
“Yes,” she agreed.
Somehow, he had the feeling that this went better than both of them thought it would. He wasn’t particularly pleased about the mistress part, but he was glad that he had the chance to say how he truly felt about it. What he told her was the truth. He had never been interested solely in being with a woman. He wanted all or nothing. But life played a cruel trick on him, and all he could now have of a woman was her name next to his surname and title. But never her heart, never her soul.
“Well, if that is all…” He suddenly had enough of this conversation. She made her point. He agreed. That was all there was to it… for now.
“It is,” she agreed. “Thank you for hearing me out.”
“Of course,” he nodded. “Allow me to walk you out.”
