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“No, thank you,” she shook her head. “I shall find my way out. I have already taken up enough of your time.”
He wanted to tell her that very soon, his time would be her time as well. They would live here under the same roof, but they would still be strangers. They would be like two passing ships in the night. Occasionally, they would meet, but other than that, their lives would not cross. The thought was strangely disturbing. He believed he had come to terms with the idea of this marriage but seeing Lady Amelia so strong and courageous made him think that she might have been the kind of woman he could have seen himself falling in love with a long time ago, back during the time when he still had a heart to share with someone. But that was not the case anymore.
CHAPTER5
Amelia was seated at her mother’s vanity table, looking at her own reflection in the mirror as if she were looking at a stranger. That could very well be the case because she could not recognize the lovely but pale looking bride that gazed back at her from the mirror. The dress she was wearing belonged to her mother. Amelia always believed that Jane would be the one to wear it first, but that wasn’t how things worked out.
Once, this dress was a symbol of their mother’s endless love for their father and their union that could only have been torn apart by death. Now, this dress had taken on a new meaning – a dreary, bleak outlook on a life Amelia never even dreamed would be handed to her. She was to become a wife. She thought those words would never roll down her lips, and yet, they did.
She inhaled deeply. She closed her eyes, trying to forget, even for one blissful moment, that this wasn’t a morning like any other, that she wasn’t wearing her mother’s dress, and that her life wasn’t going to change. But forgetting all of this was impossible.
A knock on the door made her open her eyes. “Come in,” she called out.
The door opened, and her sister revealed herself. “May I come in?” she asked.
“Always,” Amelia smiled.
Jane shyly walked inside, closing the door behind her. As she approached her sister, Jane couldn’t take her eyes off of her.
“You look just like Mother,” Jane gushed as she finally stepped behind Amelia, putting her hand on Amelia’s shoulder. Amelia lovingly pressed her hand over her sister’s. It was hard for her to go through with this, but she instantly remembered why she was sacrificing herself. “She would have loved to see you in her dress,” Jane added.
Amelia tried to smile, but it was a weak effort. “I doubt Mother would have been happy to see me in this situation, marrying the Duke of Mosebridge of all people.”
“I suppose you are right,” Jane sighed. “However, I cannot help but wonder whether Mother would be more understanding of him than any of us.”
“What is there to understand?” Amelia thought aloud.
“Didn’t Mother always remind us that there were two sides to every story?” Jane pointed out.
Amelia had to admit that Jane was right. So was their mother. Every story had two sides, two versions, at least two people who saw it differently, painting it with their own prejudices and beliefs. That alone was enough to make the same event sound like two completely different stories. Amelia was well aware of that, yet she could not dismissthe ton’sperspective of a man whose parents died mysteriously in a fire that left only him alive. That in itself was enough to raise some suspicions.
“It will be all right, dear Jane,” Amelia said, wishing to put her sister’s mind at ease when she could do no such thing with her own. “The Duke and I have established some ground rules regarding our life together, and I am assured that it will be… bearable.”
“But you should not live a bearable life,” Jane sounded saddened.
“I know,” Amelia smiled, turning to her sister and taking her hand into hers. “But if that means that you will live a wonderful life, then that will make mine even more bearable.”
The two sisters hugged then Amelia quickly pulled away. “Come now,” she said, straightening her dress. “We don’t want to make crinkles on my beautiful wedding gown, now do we?”
“No,” Jane smiled. It was a weak smile, a smile of coming to terms with something that could not be changed no matter how much one would like to.
“You go on ahead,” Amelia instructed. “I shall be out shortly.”
Jane nodded, heading to the door. Before she exited, she stopped to take one long look at her sister as if she would never see her again, and she wanted to have this image of her etched in her mind forever. The door closed momentarily, and Amelia glanced at herself in the mirror once more. She could still not recognize the woman she was on the verge of becoming. She would no longer be just a daughter, just a sister, but she would be also a wife. A woman who saved her entire family by sacrificing her own happiness.
She smiled at herself. It was a small price to pay to assure the happiness of her sister. Jane was such a sweet, kind soul. She deserved the best life had to offer. As for Amelia… she would be happy knowing that Jane was happy.
With those thoughts, she turned towards the door, and headed in the direction of her new future. She did not know what it would bring. She had no hopes, no expectations, and that was for the best. That way, she would not get disappointed, no matter what happened.
* * *
The wedding breakfast had passed uneventfully. In fact, the whole process was somehow solemn, devoid of much joy. The only people present in the church were the bride and the groom, the bride’s father and sister, and the groom’s butler, who fulfilled the role of a witness. There was no pomp, no ecstatic exclamations of joy. It was a solitary moment for everyone present, most of all for the bride herself.
While the wedding itself was held during the high season, there were no crowds to frequent the road to the church. Amelia had no flowers, a deficiency which she did not mind. There were no friends on either side to offer their good wishes. Everything had somehow been diminished to the very basic condition without any air of festivity or publicity that such occasions were usually adorned with.
Amelia was silent throughout the wedding breakfast which was served at the Duke’s home.At her new home,she corrected herself when she thought about it. There were hot rolls and eggs, buttered toast, and ham. It was a usual variety for breakfast. The only difference was the addition of the wedding cake in the middle of the table which Amelia did not even taste.
She felt too overwhelmed to feel anything other than a deep pang inside of her stomach, a reminder of all that she was giving up. Then, every once in a while, she would turn to the Duke. Despite the heaviness in her heart, she had to admit that he looked devilishly handsome. His hair was sleekly combed to the side. She was certain that he had used a bit of the pomade to make it look so shiny and even darker than usual. His complexion was somehow mysterious, brooding even. She wondered if he was as torn about this as she was. She understood why she needed to do it, and because of it, she would not back down, but she still could not escape that sinking feeling inside her chest, reminding her that now, she was forever tied to a man she felt nothing for.
