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He props himself up on his elbow and his hip, facing me and pulling me with him by our attached hands so I have to scoot closer. “Nell, have you forgotten your birthday?”
“No. I want to know if you know it.”
Knox gives me the ‘of course’ look. “Yes, Nell. You were born April fifteenth 1998. You’re an Aries and your birthstone is diamond. Would you like to be reminded of anything else?”
Tears spring up in my eyes. He remembers, and not only does he remember my birthday, he remembers my zodiac and birthstone. I never expected him to know all that. “No. That was it. Wait, actually, why do you know that?”
“Layla’s birthday was August twelfth 1996. The two of you were one year, eight months, and like three or four days apart. Her birth stone was peridot and her zodiac was Leo. My birthday, in case you don’t remember, is… I missed my birthday.”
“What?”
His fingers twitch against mine again. “Layla always made a big deal about my birthday. She had this whole routine. I missed my birthday because she’s not here. I completely forgot.”
“Your birthday is in October, the twenty… third? I think? I know it was 1995.” Shit I just put him through a test I can’t pass myself. “I have no idea what your birthstone or sign are.”
He chuckles under his breath. “You’re right. That is my birthday.”
“When you’re sober we can celebrate.”
He sighs and drops back on the bed again. “If I survive that long.”
“Don’t say that shit! You’re going to survive. I need you to.”
“Then don’t let me out.” His voice is low, haunting. “It’s going to takeweeksfor this shit to clear my system. I’m going to be wishing for a bullet by then, but if you want me to survive, don’t let me out.” He looks up at me from under his thick eyelashes. “Because if I got out of here right now, I wouldn’t come back. I would snort enough to kill me five or six times over, and I wouldn’t fucking stop. I wouldn’t want to.”
Chapter Thirteen
Tree- 2 days later
“Unlock me, Nellie, please,” I beg, giving her puppy dog eyes. If I had a million dollars, I’d give it to her for one hit. I’m willing to sell my soul to get the discomfort out of my body. Every part of me is sore. I’m so tired and hungry and frustrated that I’m about to gnaw my own arm off to escape. “My arm hurts so bad. I need to stretch my arm.”
“No.” For her part, she hasn’t wavered, hasn’t shed a tear. She doesn’t even apologize. She is strong in the face of my pain, and I hate her for it. Pres was gracious enough to give her the foreseeable future off work to babysit me. I’m going to kill him.
“Nellie…”
“No. Shh, I’m trying to work on something." She hasn’t looked away from her computer for hours, maybe days. Everything is blurring together in this hellscape. She handcuffs her fuckingwristto mine when I go to the bathroom. She stands with her back to me while I take a piss. She washes my hand with hers. She has invaded every inch of privacy and every cell in my body in all the places my favorite drug would normally be, all the places that drugwouldbe if she wasn’t being so goddamn stubborn and heartless.
"Neeeeeelllll!"
She holds up one of her fingers, not even sparing me a look to make sure I’m not dying. "No, Knox. Now, shh for just a minute."
"Just a minute!” Layla calls from inside the bathroom.
I squint at the bathroom door handle when it doesn’t pop open. "Why is the bathroom door locked, Lay? You never lock the door. What's going on?"
"Just… give me a minute."
"Layla. Open the damn door." I rarely use this tone with her, but it’s freaking me out that the door is locked. All the sadness that has seeped into her scares me. I’m afraid of what she might be doing behind that door.
"Knox! I am busy. Leave me alone."
Not going to fucking happen. I’m not going to let her do something stupid like hurt or kill herself while I stand two feet from her. "What the fuck are you busy with in the bathroom?"
She heaves a sigh. "Nothing. It's negative. Again."
My head droops as guilt and painful empathy sweep through me. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. The doctor said it's my fault, not yours." Those were not the words the doctor said. The doctor said she has a condition that makes it more difficult to conceive, but Layla fully believes that she somehow caused it.
