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ChapterSixty-Four
COTA
What is wrong with me? I’m acting like a jealous jerk and she noticed.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt your fun,” I said, once in the car.
“Fun? I’ve been dancing for hours with toes that feel miserable from lack of practice. I am certain I would not call that fun.” She looked out the window. “Are you referring to my laughing at a simple joke Matt told me?”
“You looked comfortable and happy with him, so yes.”
“I am not very hungry after all. Perhaps I should get a sandwich at the deli and get back. You are having a tough day and I do not wish to be in your way.”
“If you wish. Bond, just bring us to the deli on the corner.” I looked to my cell when it buzzed. “I have to take this.”
I answered the call while berating myself for my behavior. I’ve never been a jealous person, maybe I never had someone worth being jealous over, but the feelings I was having were taking over and making me crazy. I glanced once to the front of the car to see Bond’s disapproving look.
Clearly, everyone can see I am being a fool.
“What do you say to a picnic in the park?” I asked when I hung up my call.
“I don’t know, Cota.” She looked down at her cell to a ballet dancer meme and chuckled. “I do not wish to be present for whatever you are troubled with, unless you want to talk about it.”
“I do want to talk.” I gave Bond our food choices and he went inside to get it. “Who texted you?”
“Matt did. He is feeling the same stress I am and sent a funny video.” She held her phone out for me to see. “Would you like to see all my texts?”
“I’m sorry, Sabrina, it seems to bother me that you are enjoying his company so much.” I leaned against the glass. “Do you prefer his companionship more than mine?”
“He is a dancer. I have lived a dancer’s life since childhood with little else,” she answered calmly. “He understands what it takes and how much stress release there must be. He saw how Yury was.”
“Yes, but you look at him differently,” I argued. “You go out to meals with him and laugh together.”
“I look at him as my dance partner and there is always a bond with dancers, there has to be, to convey it on stage.” She shook her head looking at me frustrated. “That, and hour after hour of working together. No one but him understands the stress of today and tomorrow.”
“Do you want to stay with me?”
“This you? Not really.” She opened the car door and got out. “I would like to stay with the Cota I married who was my friend and did not speak to me like I did something wrong.”
“I’m jealous and it’s new to me. I don’t like how I feel right now,” I admitted.
“Jealous of what? Have you not listened to me every night when we talk for hours and I tell you how he enables me to feel alive again in dance?” She started walking. “Have you not listened when I told you about his own struggles living away from his family and that he is much younger than us and still in need of a family support?”
“I’ve heard you speak of him, but I must admit I have not completely listened. So, you are telling me he is your good friend.”
“I’m telling you he is my friend. I like him and he needs a good friend, but you are the one I married.” She crossed her arms. “You saved me and gave me a voice and a life. Why, then, would I not want to help another?”
“You’re right, I know you are, and I’m very sorry.” I rubbed at the back of my neck. “I truly don’t know what’s gotten into me.”
“Let us forget about it and move on.” She walked up to me and took my hand. “Cota, you are my husband and, even though it is in name only, I will stay true to you until it is done.”
Done? I don’t want it to be done, but do I tell her that?
“Come have a picnic with me. I promise to stop being like this.” I smiled. “You can yell at me about stuff now. It’s your turn.”
“I have no complaints. How could I with all you and your family have done for me?” She pointed to Bond. “I even have my very own bodyguard.”
I climbed out of the car when Bond slowed down by a shade tree in the park. Bond got out and got the blanket he kept in the trunk, along with the bag of food. I opened the door for Sabrina, hoping she would agree to join me after my poor behavior. I knew anyone in my family would be smacking me for it and I hoped none of them would find out. We sat eating and talking for forty-five minutes, then she yawned.
