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CHAPTEREIGHTEEN
Gavin
There’s a sharp chill in the air, and it bites at my nose. The sun is just beginning to peak, and the sky is an ominous spray of dark pink tones. It’s still dark, and my inner asshole wants me to give up this foolish attempt.
She’s never going to forgive you.
You weren’t good enough to begin with. She sure as hell ain’t coming back now.
Joey deserves happiness, and every fiber in my being wants to be the man to make her happy. I can’t give up hope that she might love me too. If she loves me, we can move forward. I can prove to her I am a better man. A man strong enough to make positive changes in my life. To be open and talk about shit I have trouble with. Even if I have to write it down, that’s what I will do because I won’t push her away. I won’t ignore what we have. The strong bond we’ve built and nurtured since we were kids. Hell, we fucking grew up being each other’s rock. The partner we needed when we had a bad day or a phase where I thought liking Star Wars, and engines was gonna get my ass kicked. This was a once-in-a-lifetime love, and I know how she feels in my arms and will work every day to earn that trust back.
So here I stand. Freezing my ass off, standing in front of the Kodiak because I finalized and shipped off Billy Jean and literally have this thing loaded up to go if she says yes. If by chance I stand here all damn day without a word from her, I’m still not leaving. Tomorrow I’ll take down more donuts and another letter. I’ll spill my guts every fucking day until she lets me talk to her. My phone dings with a text message.
Joey: I’m ok.
She sent me a text, so I know she has the phone and read my letter.
She’ll be here.
Maybe not today or next week, but fuck it, I have a wide-open schedule now and her on my mind.
What if I drive her crazy, and she hates me? What if she doesn’t want a second chance with a grumpy asshole?
My insecure thoughts try to change my plans again, but then I hear the crunch of gravel, and a white car comes into view. The most beautiful face pops up above the cab when it comes to a stop.
I wave since she’s still so far away I would have to shout. Does screaming I love you work in real life? Like in the movies? Would she hit me if I were to rush her and take her? Another woman might swoon, but I don’t dare to manhandle my girl; she’ll surely kick me in the nuts. And God, I love that about her. She is strong and going after what she wants now. Never taking shit from anyone.
Slowly she gets out and rounds the Jeep. Billy the Kid tucked under her arm. And my god, she looks fucking beautiful. She’s wearing tight blue jeans and a tattered black shirt she must have gotten from Robin. But that smile I love. The one that lights up my soul isn’t anywhere to be found. And that’s my fault.
“Hi,” she says cautiously.
“Hey.”
“Got your letter.”
I nod, suddenly at a loss of the right words, but knowing I need to push to find them if I stand a chance.
“I’m so sorry you had to read the other one. I never meant for you to. It was just a really low point, and all that hate was at myself, not you.”
She nods, biting her lip, and Billy the Kid starts to kick in her arms, so she lets him down. The baby pygmy goat surprises me by coming straight to me. As if he missed me. The thought makes me smile. My fondness for my little buddy grew tenfold.
“He isn’t the only one who cares about you, ya know. And I’m not talking about myself, but the people in your town that you always thought didn’t like your grumpy personality. They do, all of them. They just respect you’re a private man.”
None of what she is telling me right now makes sense, and wasn’t I the one that was supposed to be doing the talking?
“You know I thought I would hate this town. Furious for years thinking they were all so mean to tease you as a kid.” She shakes her head, but she’s not finished setting me right. “They all pulled together to get my jeep up, and they all wanted to know if there was anything they could do for Gavin’s girl.”
Her look is pointed. I understood it as clearly as if she read me the riot act. I never called her my girl to anyone. I just brought her to my bed. Never talked about us or what I wanted us to be. It was so easy, I just let us fall into a routine, but I know my mistakes now. As far as small towns go, I guess I took them all for granted. Maybe I do have more friends than I thought.
“Joey Bennett,” I clear my throat, thick with emotion. “I love you. I want you to be my girl, and more importantly, I want you to feel like my girl. Billy Jean sold thanks to you, and now, if you want….” I clear my throat again. “I could show you the world.”
Her bottom lip pouts, and her eyes fill with moisture. I growl and squeeze my fists tight so I don’t go touching her without her permission. God, that face crushes me.
“I like your other growl better,” she smiles through tears, and I can’t help it anymore. I go to her. Pulling her to my chest, I am hopeful when she lets me hold her.
After a long quiet moment, she blows my mind.
“I love you, Gavin. Always have.”
