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CHAPTERSEVENTEEN
The Letter
Dear Joey,
When I was eight, you told me if I was a stupid boy and stopped being your pen pal because you were a girl, you’d come to find me someday and punch me in the nose. I deserve that hit more than ever now. I know I hurt you with the letter you found, but God, Joey, you have to know me well enough to know I didn’t mean a single word.
I promised myself this wouldn’t be some half ass letter with a dozen excuses, so I’ll tell you honestly, I let myself crawl into a depression where I hated myself. The best punishment I could think of, and damn, the only one that would make me feel, was to push you away. When my grandad died, I felt guilty. You see, he begged me not to leave for California. Called me out for only doing it for you. The money would have set us up for our dream trip. You know, the one we’ve talked about since we were kids.
I can show you the world.
That’s what I wanted more than anything because you are the only person that has ever understood me. My grunts and utter lack of communication skills are who I am. I learned from my Grandad, and like my best friend, I too wanted a change. Wanted to meet you. Prayed I would be enough, but it was hard to believe with my hero telling me not to bother with love. That my place was here. He groomed me to take over his private business, and since my mom had stopped talking to him after a particularly bad Jameson-induced fight, he zeroed in on me. Don’t get me wrong, you know I love and respect the man, but now I see the lonely life he created for himself, and I don’t want that.
I want you. I want to wake up and make you coffee. Beat you to the stove so you don’t burn the place down.
More than anything else, Joey, I want you to know how beautiful you are. Inside and out. You’re kind and care for butt-head goats who eat your hair. Make me sandwiches when I should be making them for you. And don’t even get me started on what you did for me with Billy Jean. You know more than anyone how much I love that plane, and you restored her when I was going to junk her.
Speaking of my very first plane and the reminder of Grandad. I have a surprise for you. Let the record here show that this isn’t at all how I planned this, but I found a buyer. A private collector paying top dollar and Joey the money will show you the world.
Igasped reading the letter Gavin delivered this morning. A tear I didn’t realize was there slides down to the paper. My heart knows every word is true, but my head won’t let me forgive him yet. Does this letter make up for the harsh words he said? No. But it’s a start.
I understand If you don’t want to see me again. I’m so sorry I hurt our friendship, but I’m not sorry you kissed me that night in my truck. It will forever be my greatest memory. I love you, Joey, and I want you to be happy more than anything. If that’s without me, I’ll forward the check to whatever address you want….but if there is any part of you still willing to be patient with me and let me show you all the ways I could make you happy, then meet me out on the airstrip tomorrow morning at sunrise.
DON’T DRIVE! I got the most gut-wrenching picture of your car at the bottom of the crash site and never want to feel that helpless again. God, Joey, I know I don’t deserve to know, but please tell me you’re ok. You’ll have a new phone at the door, and I swear you don’t have to talk to me again if you’ll just let me know you’re not hurt.
The donuts are a bribe…. Robin will bring you tomorrow if you want to come…and because I know you love them, especially after you’ve been drinking. I hope you’re not hurting because I was a selfish asshat. None of it was true.
You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and I was so lucky to call you mine.
Love you always. Even if I was too dumb to tell you.
Gavin.
