Page 101 of Only Once


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My voice teetered, screeching over the roar of my hurt as I lobbed the fault of our demise back his way.

“Look, I know I messed this up. I said things to you out of pain, things I didn’t mean…” He paused, watching me with calculated restraint. “I owe you a thousand apologies for what I said to you that night, but I was hurting.”

“From what? I was the one who was hurting, Ryan. You screwed me over, not the other way around.” I pointed at my chest.

“Do you know how it felt to hear from Logan that you two kissed?” Ryan dipped his chin, now putting his face inches from mine, his voice a lethal blade, sharp and precise.

I blinked harshly at the fat drops of rain pelting my face. “No…he kissed me. I didn’t kiss him back—I pushed him away and kicked him out of my house.”

Ryan scoffed, spinning on his heel away from me. “His mouth was on you, and let me guess, you were somehow on the counter in front of him?”

“He essentially attacked me! I was stomping in to yell at him for how he acted with you when he picked me up and mauled me with his mouth. Do you even understand what it did to me that day to see you show up at my house early?” I stepped closer to him again, my dusty wings flitting closer and closer to the flame burning inside of him.

His perfect lips parted, his eyes dancing with little specks of gold as he searched my face, ready to respond, but I didn’t let him.

“You act as though Logan has some claim on me, like there’s some way he’ll be relevant again in a romantic way…as if there was some way he could ever compare to you.”

“You have two kids with him, Bex! Of course there’s a claim—of course I’m going to feel insecure and worried that you guys could get back together for the sake of your kids.” His voice softened as he stepped closer. “What if I’m in the way of you being a family again? I can’t do that to Cole or Bella.”

I laughed. I couldn’t help it…a huge, ridiculous laugh erupted from some place near my spine, where I was sure my backbone was shattering.

Ryan’s eyes narrowed, flitting back and forth as tears of laughter clogged my throat and my stomach pitched, making me double over.

“Why are you laughing?” he asked, his arms darting out to stabilize me. I could hear the worry in his tone, which only made me laugh harder.

“It’s just the irony of my life…I refused to marry Logan three times, basically ending our relationship. Whether he cheated or not, I was already out, and he knew it.” I wheezed, swiping at my face. It was useless, of course, but my fingers found their way to the smudges underneath my lashes just the same. “Now here you are, pushing me away all over the one man I never committed to in the first place, someone I’d never get back together with, no matter what the circumstances…but you know what, Ryan, I do think it’s high time I move on from this.” I sobered, strengthening my voice. “I sabotaged my last relationship waiting for you…I won’t do that again. When I find love again, I’m going all in. Future me deserves that kind of happiness.”

I swiped once more under my lashes as Natalie rushed down the stairs. “Mr. Prince, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize who she is!” Her wide eyes shifted to me in panic.

Not a good time, Natalie.

“Bexley,” Ryan warned as I reached for my car door.

I refused to look back at his face or see anything in those eyes, not wanting to commit anything to memory.

“Goodbye, Ryan. Good luck with everything.”

“Bexley, don’t…”

“Mr. Prince, they’re waiting for you inside,” Natalie prattled as Ryan tried to step closer to my car, but I was already tucking myself in and locking my doors. I didn’t need this.

Ignoring how Ryan pulled on my door handle and slapped against my door frame, I began reversing. His hands went to his hair as I drove away, leaving him behind. I permitted myself one last glance back and saw him standing there, his hands in his pockets and his head hung in defeat.

A thick lump of pain lodged itself in my throat as I accelerated and left the man I’d loved for an entire decade behind.

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