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“So weird.”
“Yeah…” I trailed off, but my mind was still on that night. How I still had trouble being intimate with women all these years later, because it was her face I’d see. Big blue eyes, short black hair, red pimples on her face and metal stretching across her teeth. It was the first time I had ever really looked at her, and that image was stuck with me forever.
Penance.
“What if you ask around at the diner? I mean, there’s bound to be someone who knows.”
I looked up at my friend’s suggestion, and there was a rumbling in the sky above us. I hadn’t really thought to do that because it required socializing, but given I now knew the owners, it wouldn’t be so bad.
“That’s not a bad idea. Not sure why I hadn’t considered it before,” I muttered, although I did know. That girl’s crush was a shameful thing in my head. I felt like I had done something wrong, even though I had never encouraged her. I wasn’t eager to ever tell anyone about it.
But…
It would put to rest this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I had ruined yet another person’s life.
“While you’re asking around, maybe you could accompany Tiffany and me on a date?” he asked hopefully.
I laughed and shook my head. “We’ll see. I can’t make any promises, but if it’s not in a crowded place, I might be able to make it happen.”
“Yesssss!” He jammed his elbow back in an excited gesture. “I knew I could talk you into it.”
“Uh-huh,” I drawled. My friend was an idiot, but he was helping me, and after the past four years, I was ready to put this burden behind me once and for all.
4
RAE
“Why didn’tyou tell us your flight changed?” my mother scolded as she walked in the door.
I had showered, napped, and then called to tell them I was home, at which point they’d rushed right over.
Waving her off, I sighed. “Because it was no big deal. I caught a ride, and this way you two didn’t have to drive me.”
That, and I was way too prideful to be picked up two hours from home and driven back by my parents. All of Macon would start talking about how I’d failed college or was bailed out of jail. Either way, my parents would be the poor victims, and I would be painted as the villain, so I caught the bus, which dropped me near the small bookstore, and then I walked the rest of the way home.
“Hey, kid, how are you?” My dad pulled me into his arms next, kissing the top of my head, the sensation of his strong arms taking me back to feeling small and protected.
Pulling away, I surveyed them both and tried to ignore the tug in my stomach that I’d missed so much of their lives. My father was still just as tall as always, but his hair was definitely receding, and the sides had turned an ashy gray color. My mom’s hair was still a dark chestnut, but her temples were also starting to turn silver.
“So, how was the diner this morning?” I asked, hoping to ease the awkwardness I felt being back in their presence after so long.
My mom moved around the kitchen in a hurry. “Slow, but that’s okay. It’ll pick up, especially with you back.”
I brushed off the nerves rattling my insides at her hopeful tone and watched my father start a pot of coffee.
“Tell me more about this delivery service that you have in mind?”
My mom grabbed the butter dish and the box of bread, blushing just the slightest bit.
“Your mom is really proud of it; there’s several people who can’t get around easily, so having a hot meal delivered has been a real help to them,” my dad said, yanking the glass pot out of the way and shoving his mug under in a practiced fashion. I held back a laugh when Mom gave him the side eye. She hates it when he does that because it always splatters.
“Well, we added in grocery delivery, too, and it just becomes a big help to the community. I mean, aside from the financial assistance to us.” I could hear how proud my mom was in spite of her efforts to sound casual. This truly meant something to her.
“Well, when can I help?”
My mom grabbed my dad’s cup and sipped from it, her eyes big and round. “If you’re sure that you’re ready, I could actually use your help this weekend. We usually have at least ten orders that come in, and getting anyone to drive up the mountain has been difficult.”
“Is old man Ford still living up there?” I asked, deciding coffee didn’t sound too bad and grabbed for a mug.
