Page 82 of Finding Forever


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“Woah!” Jim steps into the room like a tornado. “What’s going on?”

I don’t get to answer, because my head swims and liquid gushes down my legs. “Woah,” I murmur dazedly and step into Aiden’s chest.

“Bubs?” Jim steps in at my back and takes my weight. “Izzy, talk to me. What are you doing up?”

“How you feeling, sweet?” The nurse’s face hovers close to mine as her cool fingers press my eyelid up and open. She flashes a light; light, dark, light, dark. “Dizzy?”

I squint away from the glare. “M’okay, just dizzy.” Blood oozes down the insides of my thighs. “And I’m bleeding.”

“That’s normal. This is the first time you’ve stood up since this all began. Come into the bathroom and let me see.” She looks up at the guys surrounding me. “I need some muscle.”

“I’ll bring her,” Jim volunteers immediately. Jon develops an eye twitch instantly, he’s always so protective of me, but what are his options? Someone needs to carry me in, and someone needs to inspect my panties; I don’t think he wants anything to do with part two.

I don’t want Jim in on part two, either, but he gives me no choice. His strong arms lead me forward, and though I walk there, though I find satisfaction in the fact I’m on my own two feet, technically, I’m barely doing a thing.

It’s not me holding my weight.

“Here we go.” The nurse stands aside as Jim leads me past her onto the tile. She closes the door behind us. “We’re all friends here, right?” She chuckles. “Let’s take all this off.”

She unties the closures on my gown and slides the scratchy fabric from my body. Jim’s hands on the outside of my clothes instantly become Jim’s hands on my skin. His strong grip spans almost my entire rib area. His thumbs easily rest near the middle of my back, and his fingertips touch the sides of my still swollen belly.

The nurse slides the hospital supplied mesh panties down my legs and sends a burning blush to my cheeks. Somehow, Jim seeing me give birth is way less embarrassing than him practically seeing my period.

“Is that too much?” His deep baritone rumbles through his chest and into his hands as he watches her work. “That’s a lot of blood.”

“It’s okay. It’s not too much at all. Perfectly normal.” She bundles the mesh and tosses them in the trash can. “Let’s have a shower since we’re already in here. I promise you’ll feel a million times better once you do.” She looks to Jim. “Have you got this, or would you like help?”

She expects him to shower me! “No. I can do this… it’s okay.”

“I’ve got it.”

She smiles at Jim’s confident reply and steps back. “Excellent. Don’t let her fall. I’ll be back in five with new underwear and a gown.” She pulls the curtain closed, then opens and closes the bathroom door.

For the first time in my life, I’m alone with Jim, I’m naked, and… nothing. We’re back to the friend zone and I have a mutilated vagina. Yay me.

“Sit down for a second,” he says. He shuffles me to the old-people shower seat and helps me sit. I hiss as soon as my thighs touch the seat, though my stitches remain untouched. It’s a nervous tic. An expectation of pain. Jim grits his teeth apologetically. “Sorry. I’m sorry. Just hold on.” Fast as a snake, he whips the shirt over his head and unties the string on his sweatpants.

He’s getting naked.

He’s going to be naked, in front of me.

He jerks to a stop when he notices my stare. “You don’t mind, do you? I can keep them on. I know this isn’t ideal… I mean, the first time… we…ah, the… see each other. Umm…”

“It’s okay.” He’s blushing. I love that he’s blushing. “I won’t look.” I’ll totally look. I’m most of the way dead on my feet. I have no desire to have sex again forat leastthe next eighteen years. I have approximately one hundred and twenty-three stitches in my vagina.

But I’m still going to look.

“Shit. Umm. Okay.” His nerves somehow ease mine. He’s always so self-assured. So confident. To see him flustered makes him more human, like the rest of us.

I follow the line of his throat down past his defined chest – free of tattoos, unlike Bobby who’s almost covered – down over his abdominal muscles, down the V I’ve seen every day at training since he was about eight years old and grew abs. His hands shake as he slides the sweatpants down and over his hips.

Hedoeshave tattoos. Just none I’ve ever seen. Unless you’ve seen this man naked, you’d never know he had them.

His right hip has a symbol that I know well. Thekanji, representative of his karate history, stretches just below the line of his pants, down the front of his hip, and stops a few inches from the top of his muscular thigh.

His left hip is decorated with an elaborate love heart. The design is complex; flowers and vines swirl and circle and support a single contrasting letter. A simple ‘B’.

My own heart drops.Who is ‘B’? How many women have seen this? Where’s B now, and what do the women that came after think of it?

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