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Hurt filled the crevices in my heart. It was an old pain mingling with the fresh wound. My family had intentionally excluded me from their lives and it was something I hadn’t gotten over. This felt like that all over again.
I stuckthe key in the lock, but it wouldn't turn no matter how I jiggled. I checked to make sure I had the right key and tried again. It wouldn't budge.
I rang the doorbell. No one came. My parents wouldn’t be home in the afternoon anyway.
As I pulled out my phone to call my mother, I noticed through the front windows that the living room was empty. I shimmied through the shrubs and peered through the glass.
Everything was gone.
My parents had movedwithout telling me. That was the high school graduation gift I received.
It still hurt to think about that gut punch.
I cleared my throat. “He didn’t say anything.”
She touched my knee. “Is there a chance he didn’t because you hadn’t mentioned the wedding and he didn’t want to spoil the news?”
I lifted a shoulder to my ear. “Maybe?” But deep down, I didn’t believe that. We were both working through our trust issues. “Going back to get his things is a big deal, like he’s really serious about being here.”
“You doubted that he was? What about the building he bought?” Trish stared at me with concerned eyes.
“I guess part of me thinks whatever it is that's happening with us is too good to be true. It started out as something fun, casual. Now? It feels like it became something more with hardly any effort. At least I thought it was.” The words tumbled out as my emotions spiraled.
“He wouldn’t have offered you the space to work on your products if he didn’t see something long term.”
“But it could be friendship. Or just sex,” I protested, my voice rising. A jogger passing by did a double take, but I ignored her. “I’m leaning toward just sex. Otherwise why wouldn’t he tell me he was going to Wyoming to get the rest of his things?”
She looked at me, uncertain. “All I know is Andrew worries about him. I’m not sure what happened to Holt, only that he doesn’t talk about it much.”
I snorted. “Trust me.ThatI do know.” I rubbed my temples. “I don't want to talk about my past any more than he wants to discuss his. And that’s okay for now. But purposely excluding me? When I thought we were taking baby steps forward? It hurts.”
I dropped my chin to my chest. Trish rubbed my back. “Do you want to know about the past?”
I didn’t answer for a long time. Yes. No. I wasn’t sure. “Part of me is afraid to find out. There’s obviously a woman involved and I really don't like thinking about that.”
Kyle had never looked at anyone else. I’d been the center of his universe and hadn’t experienced a lot of jealousy. I didn’t much care for the foreign feeling, but it was definitely there when I thought about Holt sharing a life with someone else.
“And part of you is afraid one day you’ll have to tell him about yours,” Trish said. I loved her for her honesty, but sometimes I wanted to avoid the truth.The truth is too horrific to discuss.
“That’s true. I thought this would be simple. But my feelings got involved when I didn’t mean for them to.”
She gave me a knowing smile. “They have a way of doing that when we least expect it.”
Ella let out a shriek of agreement.
“She's already wise, isn't she?” I placed her plastic key ring back on her stomach.
“She is.” Trish beamed at her daughter before she turned to me. “Opening up takes two. You can’t ask Holt to do something you aren’t willing to do.”
It was the constant ripping open of old wounds that made thinking clearly hard sometimes. “I know.”
“We should head to Dino’s if we don’t want to be late.”
We stood, and she threw her arms around me.
I hugged her in return. “Thank you for talking. For asking me to be your maid of honor. I’m so excited.” I practically squealed, beyond pleased for her.
She pulled back and grinned. “This means so much to me.”
